When the Day Returns

[Drake]

Drake was bored, surprisingly. He had never been to the academy before his crash landing, or on a blade ship for that matter, but already he was starting to get cabin fever. Normally he would be roaming the halls aimlessly, playing with a super ball, or at least spinning in a rolley chair, but today was different. After having just recently been present at the destruction of another city, and almost getting destroyed himself, Drake was not in the mood for fun.

Which may be why he was poking around the history room. This place just screamed unfun. Especially since it was empty at the moment, save for Drake.

"Hmm, looks complicated," Drake commented as he ran a finger along one of the computerized desktops. It had a weird sort of alien screensaver running over the top. At least he hoped it was a screen saver. Either way, he was sort of glad he never had to take this class in order to become an animorph. It seemed like a lot of tedious work.

[Suji]

Suji was exhausted. Beyond exhausted. She hadn't slept on the Bug Fighter trip, and she refused to sleep when they'd first arrived, despite being asked (mostly politely) to do so. Seiya had made his introductions, and though it was their first time meeting, he addressed her in a respectful way that suggested he knew more about her than she knew about him. It wasn't a wholly unfamiliar feeling, but it was slightly different than the usual "I saw your dead body on a hologram" interaction. When she had declined -- with all the courtesy she could muster -- his suggestion of rest, he'd eventually excused himself.

Of course, after satisfying her question of where she could find Drake.

Suji walked through the hallways of the bladeship. It was quiet, the dead of night, and the idea of sleep really was tempting. It didn't take her very long to navigate the ship: there were lights along the floor that designated different areas. Just like Alain's book, she thought absently.

When she reached the History classroom, Suji had time to wonder how Seiya could keep track of every person walking around his ship. Or maybe he didn't -- maybe he only tracked the Animorphs. For that matter, it wasn't as if Drake and Dean were normal recruits. Still, it was impressive.

She stopped outside of the door, biting down hard on her bottom lip. Maybe Drake wasn't even really in there. And if he was, maybe he wanted to be alone. She hadn't seen him in months. Her heart was thudding away in her chest, and for a moment her hand rested on the doorknob and she contemplated turning around and going back to the room Seiya had set up for her and Aubrey.

Don't be a coward.

Suji knocked on the door quietly, though it sounded impossibly loud in the empty hallway. Then she stepped inside the room. Before she was all the way in, she spotted Drake deeper in, the glow of a desktop computer screen lighting his face as he looked up. Suji slipped the rest of the way inside, closing the door behind her. She kept one hand on the doorknob, arm bent back behind her, as she stood there motionless. It seemed as if she might still flee, or that she was holding on to the door to anchor herself.

Suji licked her lips, and her eyes flicked around the classroom before coming back to him. "Heard you took a bit of a fall," she said quietly, lamely, back still pressed to the door.

[Drake]

Drake started at the sound of a knock. When he looked up, he saw a familiar figure standing by the doorway. "Suji," he whispered, barely making a sound. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, so he just stood there blankly. But when she spoke, he knew she was the real deal.

"Heard you took a bit of a fall," she said quietly. But the room was so silent, she might as well have been talking into a microphone.

"Heh, yeah. It was... pretty bad. But not bad enough, apparently. I survived another one." Drake smirked dryly. He was starting to loose count of all the times he had almost died.

He took a couple steps toward Suji, leaving the light of one desk and entering the light of another. "I heard people were coming from New York, but nobody told me that you... It's been so long." It had only been a few months, but it had felt like so much longer. "It is good to see you again, Suji."

[Suji]

"I survived another one." Suji's eyes welled and she hoped it wasn't obvious in the relatively dark room. Survived another one. Every time she replayed those words, she felt her stomach knot tighter. Another one. That's what their lives were.

To her credit, Cassie had told Suji and Aubrey immediately that they were being sent to the Academy. Of course Cassie had tried to assure them that Drake is okay, but really, who believed that? You were never okay after watching a city come apart at the seams; and two in a row? No one was okay. And when she'd heard about the fact that he'd fallen from a Bug Fighter onto some arctic tundra, Suji had already been moving into her vulture morph before Cassie said they were leaving.

But he did survive, Suji thought, and slowly forced herself to let go of the doorknob. Some rooms had them; the standard, hinging doors, rather than the high-tech sliding ones. She didn't know if it was because they were built later on, or if it was just to given them a less alien-feel. Her hand came back to her side, and she made herself release the terror that had wrapped itself around her insides. Drake wasn't put into harm's way any more often than most Animorphs, but she always felt so afraid for him.

Bad habit, she told herself, and took a breath, blinking back the previous tears. He was here. Maybe -- probably -- not okay, but here, alive, and whole; undoubtedly thanks to the technology that had trapped them in this war as thoroughly as being a host would have.

"Yeah, Aubrey, she's here too. We came as soon as we heard," Suji stepped forward from the door. She kept looking him up and down, as if checking to make sure he was all there. Not that he couldn't not be, morphing didn't work like that, but it still seemed important.

"It is good to see you again, Suji." Again, Suji bit down on her lip, looking away. She'd been scared of that too. That he'd hate her. It was probably unreasonable, but she'd left. She'd left the war, and hung out in what was practically a tropical resort while he went down a path that ended up with another destroyed city. It was immeasurably unfair. Maybe when he knew the details of that, he'd be upset. Part of her wanted to tell him immediately, since it seemed somehow wrong to hide it, but she couldn't bring herself to.

"You too," she said instead, and took another small step towards him. Her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides, as if unsure what to do with them. "I'm so glad you're all right," Suji said after a pause, the relief in her voice as palpable as a heavy confession.

[Drake]

Drake smiled, warmly this time. He wanted to hug Suji so badly, but he resisted. He wasn't sure if now was the right time for that sort of thing. "So you and Aubrey rushed down here to rescue me, huh? That doesn't surprise me one bit. I always did need someone to drag me out of the trouble I got into, wether it was on purpose or not." Images flashed in front of Drake's mind. The crocodile, the coyote, the warehouse, the vents. Suji had been there for all of them. A lump was starting to form at the back of Drake's throat for some reason.

Drake fidgeted with the corner of the desk as he leaned back against it. He was at a loss for words. He decided to try and change the subject slightly. "Heh, so this is the academy, huh? This is the first time I've been here. Do you think we would have been accepted as animorphs if they had sent us here first? I mean, History class, to fight aliens?"

[Suji]

Suji laughed. It was authentic, but her voice was strained. "Trust me, we were assured that you were already well-rescued." And if they hadn't been, she would have commandeered a Bug Fighter herself if that was what the situation called for. Another thing Cassie had apparently been aware of.

They stood there looking at each other, and she watched Drake clumsily change the subject. It felt familiar in an unfamiliar setting, like maybe no time had really passed. She smiled, there was a pang in her heart that was painful but also strangely pleasant. "Hey there," she said softly. "History was always my strong suit." And I spent the last few months teaching it to free human teenagers, she added mentally. "So I would have passed with flying colors. You on the other hand..." She let her voice trail off with a smirk to show that she was joking.

Finding herself able to move beyond the tiny steps now, Suji walked towards one of the desktops. The premise was to investigate the technology behind them, but she chose one that was close to desk that Drake was leaning against. After a few experimental hand gestures that brought up different screens, Suji looked over at him. The glow was blue and green as a picture of Earth displayed below her. "How've you been?"

[Drake]

"Hey," Drake retorted when Suji poked fun at his history learning skills. But he left it at that. No sense arguing about something that was probably true.

Instead Drake busied himself watching Suji manipulate the desktop. He had left them alone himself because he was afraid he might somehow accidentally activate the ship's self destruct sequence or something. But Suji certainly seemed to be having an easy enough time. She soon had a picture of the earth showing.

"How have you been?" she asked.

It was a simple enough question with an answer that should have been just as simple. All he had to say was, "I've been better. How about you?" And that would be that. But Drake just couldn't get himself to say it. Not this time.

"I- Well... I don't know." Drake looked at the floor and shifted uneasily. "Surviving. I guess that's a plus. But... you know. That isn't always the easiest thing either." Drake wasn't really sure what he meant, and wasn't sure if he cared to.

[Suji]

Drake seemed to struggle with the question, and Suji's brow knitted in concern. She was glad that he didn't really sugarcoat it, didn't feed her one of the standard lines that everyone was constantly repeating back to each other. She followed his gaze down to the floor, and then quickly looked back at her screen. The planet there spun slowly, and she had the feeling that if she wanted, she could zoom down to ground level. North America turned into the center, and her eyes automatically drifted to Texas.

She'd never seen the crater where Dallas had been, but she knew that if she wanted to, she could see it now. It was the last thing she wanted to look at. Instead she let the picture continue to churn, white blobs of what she assumed were clouds floating over the continents.

"Sometimes surviving is the best you can do," Suji offered. Not that she should really be talking; Drake was stronger than her. Better. He hadn't turned to suicide after Dallas. Hadn't had to be sent away for R&R. She didn't know where that kind of strength came from: she was always torn between thinking it was because the war didn't affect him quite as much, or because maybe he understood it better on some level. Understood that it wasn't leaving, so you just had to adapt. That'd always been her problem; she could conform to a given situation up to a point, but in the end, there were always barriers she built up in her head. Lines she told herself she couldn't cross. And when she did, it resulted in a breakdown. She conceptualized the war too much, rather than learning to roll with the punches.

Without giving herself time to think it over, Suji walked over to him. She took one of his hands in hers, and gave it a companionable squeeze. "You're doing a good job of it, though." She smiled up at him, and tried not to let it look as sad as she felt.

[Drake]

Drake responded to Suji's first comment with a shallow smile. But the smile became genuine with her second. "Thanks," was all he said, and he squeezed her hand back. For some reason someone acknowledging that he had been through so many horrors, and survived them, made it easier to cope with it. Already he could feel a small weight being lifted off his shoulders.

"Suji," he said as he stared at the far wall. "We still have a long, long way to go. We only just started. How are we ever going to make it to the finish line?" He asked in all seriousness. "And what will we be like when we get past it?"

[Suji]

Suji listened to his questions, and held in the weary sigh that was threatening to escape. Instead, she traced her thumb lightly over the back of his hand, their hands resting against the edge of the desk.

"I don't know," she said honestly, knowing that it wasn't really helpful to hear. "But we'll make it. Because we have to." Not exactly the most enthusiastic pep-talk, but it seemed right enough. They would fight until the end... and Suji didn't doubt that there would be an end, one way or the other.

"I don't know what I'll be like. Probably some grizzled old veteran who snaps at everyone and talks about how we never had an Academy." She said, trying to inject a little light-heartedness into the conversation. It was hard to tell if it'd be welcomed or not, but part of her felt obligated to try. "But I hope you're still the same. Or at least close to it." She tried to catch is gaze and provide a smile.

"You'll be okay, Drake," she added, more quietly. "You're good. You'll be okay." And she wasn't really sure who she was trying to convince: him or herself.

[Drake]

After a brief bought of light chuckling, Drake sat on in silence. He appreciated Suji's encouragement, he really did, but he wasn't sure if he could believe her. Sure, on the top level Drake seemed the same and even felt the same. But on a lower level Drake could already tell that he was no longer the same person who had joined the Vegas faction so long ago.

He didn't like it. He liked being the person he thought he should be. Not the person he could feel he was becoming.

But there was nothing he could do. You can't stop growth, wether it is the positive or negative kind.

Finally, Drake spoke again. "You have to make me a promise Suji. Or maybe it's a deal. You have to promise me that you will be okay as long as I'm okay. And in turn I'll be okay as long as you are okay. That way the yeerks can never break us. That way we can make it to the end in one piece. Both of us."

Drake turned his head to look into Suji's eyes. He didn't know how he expected her to react. Heck, he didn't know how he expected himself to react. But just the same, he wanted to see her face when she answered.

[Suji]

Suji searched him, tried to place what he was thinking. But Drake was somewhere else, deeper, and she had a feeling it wasn't a very happy place. How could it be? Then he started saying something about a deal, and Suji quieted all of her internal back-and-forth. Her initial desire was to agree as soon as he asked her to make a promise... which would have probably been considered out of place, so she decided it was best to hear him out first.

"That way we can make it to the end in one piece. Both of us." Her eyes watered again and she couldn't really hide it because he was looking straight at her, and as dim as the lighting was the stupid glow from the desk was bright enough. It struck her as totally inappropriate, because she never cried, hardly ever got so sappy about things. Except with Drake.

What if you don't? She wanted to ask, eyes moving quickly back and forth between his. What if you aren't okay? But Suji already knew the answer. God help whatever creature got in the way of that, human or Yeerk alike. The world could burn for all she'd care: there'd be nothing left but revenge. Not a single thing about that picture was comforting.

Suji hooked her pinky into his, smiling even though her eyes were threatening tears. "You got yourself a deal."

[Drake]

Drake stared into Suji's eyes, feeling his starting to water in response. But he had a slight smile on his face and he made every effort to keep from looking away. This moment felt heavier than any he had experienced before.

Then, without warning, Suji took his pinky in hers and sealed the deal. Drake finally broke his gaze and let out a short involuntary laugh. As silly as it was, he knew Suji's promise was serious.

Drake used his wrist to wipe the excess water from his eyes as he spoke. "Well that settles it then, doesn't it? We're indestructible now. Not even Visser One is safe anymore."

[Suji]

Suji smiled widely at his laugh, and when he wiped his eyes it actually made it easier for her not to cry. For a moment the fear and the grief over what their lives were seemed distant, outside the silly glow of the desktops. She laughed lightly when he mentioned being indestructible.

"Well, I'm pretty sure we were already indestructible. Fatal injuries, huge explosions, falling out of spaceships..." As un-superstitious as Suji was, she had an urge to knock on wood and apologize for tempting fate. Still, the Animorphs were pretty damn hard to kill, compared to pretty much every other sentient species on this planet.

"But I like that," she smiled, looking forward at all the posters and displays on the wall at the front of the room. Her hand slid down his, before she leaned forward and rested on her forearms against the desk. She clasped her fingers loosely together, though with the pinky and ring finger of her right hand she traced light outlines on the desktop. "Indestructible. Invincible, too. That's a good one."

Suji licked her lips, looked up and over at him slyly, as if gauging her next question. "What did you want to do before the war, Drake?" The question felt odd in her mouth. Suji just didn't ask questions like that. And when they were posed to her -- what if the war didn't happen, what if the war ended tomorrow -- she always answered as vaguely as possible. As far as she was concerned, the war did happen, and there was no use wasting time imagining otherwise.

But it seemed like she never knew anything about what her companions were like before the war. It'd been something to reflect on during her shore leave. After being separated from them, she found that she wished she'd known something of whatever mundane -- or not-so mundane -- dreams and hopes they'd had before they'd become whatever the war made them. They were important. Especially Drake's.

[Drake]

"Hmm," Drake responded as he leaned back against the desktop again. He looked at Suji, then stared staright ahead at the wall, thinking. He enjoyed the change of topic, but how was he supposed to answer a question like that?

He decided to try honestly. "Noting, really. I didn't want to do anything. Sure there were some careers I thought would be neat, but I didn't have one picked out. One to strive for. To be honest, I was kind of a bum. A bum who lived in a really nice house..."

Drake let his explanation trail off there. "Ok, so now it's your turn. What did you want to be?" He turned to look at her again. Her answer truly interested him because he had no idea. He could imagine her being anything from a locksmith to a fighter pilot.