Post by Admin on Aug 6, 2009 2:17:58 GMT -5
Sedra:
A breeze brushed through the backyard, stirring up the scent of a coming desert rain. Sedra was lounging in a patio chair, half-empty wine glass dangling from her fingertips. Overhead the sky was darkening with rain clouds, heavy and ready to pour onto the city. Rain wasn't a frequent visitor to Las Vegas, and Sedra was out to watch some of the storm. Doing this was an old habit that Catherine had had with her husband Mark--before the infestation--and one that Sedra had picked up soon after. Both human and Yeerk enjoyed it, and it was the only thing Sedra could think of to calm her frazzled mind right now. Not to mention get away from what had happened at the Dam. The whole thing still hadn't exactly registered in her mind. She kept seeing the thousands of Yeerks floating in the dam, dead. The bombs planted around the turbines. The dam exploding. Luce.
Many of the controllers had been pulled into a nearby clinic after the Dam had collapsed. Sedra had stopped by briefly to get her head checked out, since she hadn't realized it was actually bleeding. It wasn't anything major. She'd left after that, not really wanting to converse with any of the maimed or injured controllers. They could deal with it. Sedra just wanted away. In the morning--or even, sometime later tonight, who knew--she assumed the higher-ranking Yeerks would come calling on those that had been on the dam to figure out what had happened.
Sedra pulled the wine glass up, shifting in the chair. A couple of rain drops had already fallen on the concrete of the patio, followed by a low rumble up in the clouds. Pressing the drink to her lips, Sedra took a small sip. Ever since returning from the dam, Catherine had been dead silent. Sedra hadn't really wanted to deal with her host anyways, and the quiet was welcome this time. If she wanted to go brood, that was fine. It meant more space for Sedra to think.
Heavier raindrops began to sprinkle across the backyard, causing the leaves of a nearby tree to shudder. Draining the last of her wine, Sedra stood from the chair and turned her back to the rain. The glass sliding door to her house was ajar, spilling warm light across the ground. She pushed the door open and squeezed through, hearing another low rumble of thunder overhead. The weather on this planet was so varied and chaotic, it was fascinating to her. Sedra had never set foot on the original Yeerk home world, but she had been taught that the sky was mostly full of lightning storms. Maybe that's why she enjoyed storms here on Earth so much.
She left the sliding door open so that the sound and smell of the rain could carry into the house. The door opened into the living room, but immediately to the right was the kitchen. Setting the wine glass down on the table, she grabbed the wine bottle and poured herself another glass. If her host had taught her one thing, it was that most anything could be drowned away by alcohol. At least, for the time being.
Luce:
Luce looked up at the sky as the rain clouds covered the moon and stars she had turned to for solace. A low rumbling came to her across the rooftops and drops began to hit her face and the arms which she had pulled up around her knees. She should have moved, and she would in a moment, but she wanted to be free of what this day had brought her and somewhere, buried deep in Luce's heart, the romantic side of her nature welcomed the cleansing touch of the rain.
She closed her eyes as the drops came more frequently. Some of them caught on her eyelashes and as she blinked the water away it ran down her face in little streams like tears.
She welcomed the feeling. She would have given anything to be able to cry right now, to just let it all go, to let the pain in so that it could begin to heal. But she couldn't cry. The barriers she had so painstakingly built to protect herself from the outside world now trapped her. So the sky provided the tears she couldn't shed.
She opened her eyes but there were no stars to see now, no moon. The sky was a uniform dark gray and the quiet of the night that she had so often sought peace in was broken constantly by the sound of far off thunder. Though it wouldn't be far off for long if she was any judge of storms.
How had so much trouble come from the stars she loved so much? So much pain. And so much joy.
She looked down at Sedra as she got up and walked back inside her house. From her position on the rooftop across Sedra's backyard Luce could see her clearly in the light coming through the glass door. Luce was free to look as long as she wanted and the night's darkness did not allow Sedra the same privilege.
Luce no longer bothered asking herself why she came here, why she spent so many nights flying above this house or sitting on this rooftop. This was the closest she could come to seeing Sedra without crossing a line that couldn't be uncrossed and she needed to see her, to be with her, even if it was only like this.
She stood up and got ready to morph into her owl form. Flying back through the rain was sure to be unpleasant and, if the sound of the thunder was any indication, dangerous. Added to that she was returning to a best friend who hated her, a faction leader who didn't trust her, and a faction she no longer felt a part of.
But that was what she had agreed to do. A long time ago, at least it seemed long ago now, Cassie had asked her if she would join the animorphs, join this war, and Luce had agreed. There was no way to know then what she had signed herself up for. But one thing had always been clear to her, she was bound since the day she had chosen this life, though the bonds she had used to welcome now felt like chains that threatened to pull her under. But whether that promise was a liberator or a jailer it had still been given freely to...who? Humanity? She had thought so.
Did killing so many yeerks today benefit humanity? She wanted to believe it did. And even if today had been the wrong move Luce was still a part of the Las Vegas faction and she would follow the orders of her faction leader. She wasn't a traitor.
At least that it what she told herself. But a part of her was a traitor. The part of her that brought her here. And not because it chose a controller over an animorph. She was a traitor because she would abandon this war, leave it all behind, if it meant having a life with that controller.
She didn't morph right away. She told herself it was because it would have been dangerous on such uncertain footing, better to get to the ground and morph there.
She slid down the side of the roof feet first, using her hands to slow her down. When she got to the edge she stood up and jumped down to the grass below, her knees pulled up close to her chest to soften the impact though it was still jarring when she hit. She didn't try to stay on her feet and just let herself roll across the lawn until she stopped.
She stood up and wiped off the pieces of grass that had gotten stuck to her shoulders and arms. It was raining in earnest now and the ground was turning to mud beneath her bare feet. It had been a long time since she had stood barefoot in the rain and she had forgotten how cool the wet grass felt against her skin. But she knew that cool would soon turn into cold, especially because her clothes, which were skin tight to begin with, were now clinging to her.
Instead of morphing Luce walked across the yard to the glass door. She could have gone home. Or she could have told herself that she wasn't going home because the flight would have been too dangerous. The excuse was even plausible since the first bolt of lightning ripped the sky apart above her. But she was done lying to herself for one night. She was here because this is where she wanted to be and she was too tired to hold off that desire anymore.
Luce stood in the rain outside the glass door in the warm light coming from inside the house. She knocked lightly.
Sedra:
Sedra curled her fingers around the glass, turning towards the open living room. Against one of the walls was a bookcase, filled with some old humans books as well as some of the books that she had managed to save in the fire at Area 51. It was standing next to a fireplace that Sedra never used. Sitting opposite of that was a holo-projector, the technology that had replaced televisions once they had taken over Earth. It was switched off for now.
Sedra was heading towards one of the living room couches when she heard a tap against the sliding door glass. At first she'd thought it had something to do with the storm, as the rain was really pelting the ground outside. But as she glanced over, she quickly realized it wasn't the storm. Surprise flashed in her eyes.
<<Luce...>> Catherine's thought was quiet, subdued.
Sedra felt her heart skip a beat; Whether it was from the surprise of Luce being here or just Luce herself, she didn't know. At first she was frozen, half-way between the living room and the kitchen, wine glass in hand. There was a small frown pressed on the corner of her lips, but her expression was otherwise unreadable--a defense for when she wasn't sure how to react. Luce was here, at her door. Her first thought was that she had come for some sort of revenge, or for Catherine. But if she had meant to come and kill Sedra, she wouldn't be knocking politely.
Yet she was also there at the dam. She helped them set the bombs. A harsh anger stung at her. She had been foolish in the first place to think that Luce was anything but an Animorph. She should have realized, should have known, shouldn't have assumed otherwise. She was part of the enemy, whether Sedra wanted to acknowledge that or not. They were supposed to hate each other.
But at the same time, it wasn't just clear. Luce had saved her from the wolf. The action had confused Sedra before, but there hadn't been much time for reflection with dracon beams being pointed at her. Things were different. Even through the anger she was feeling right now, there was something else, something different. She was relieved that Luce had made it out alive. And she was glad, as hard as it was to admit to herself, that Luce was here.
Quietly moving to the door, Sedra pulled it open the rest of the way. Letting her gaze slide behind Luce, she noticed the rain was pelting the grass and trees. Some wind had kicked up as well, throwing the sheets of rain back and forth against the trees. She found herself trying to pick out any animals hiding around in the back. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Sedra to feel a little wary, that maybe Luce had brought the rest of the Animorphs to come get payback or something like that. Although, that was seeming less likely.
Should she let her in? Sedra's dark blue eyes fell back on Luce's face, taking in her features, her expression. Apparently Luce had been out long enough to get soaked, and she looked cold. For a moment, Sedra's expression softened. Then she turned her face away, her voice cool. "Come in." Cupping the glass close to her chest, Sedra took a slow step back to allow Luce inside.
Luce:
Luce stood shivering on the doorstep waiting for Sedra to notice her. As she had predicted, the cold had started to penetrate her body and now she couldn't control her shaking no matter how she tried. Her hands were closed into fists making the water running down her arms fall off her knuckles. She had her head down so that the water wouldn't get into her eyes and so she didn't see Sedra's approach, only noticing her when she blocked the yellow light from inside.
Luce looked up and met Sedra's eyes. She tried to read them, she wanted to know what her arrival meant to her, but the only thing she could see was a slight suspicion as she scanned the yard behind her. The suspicion was perfectly justified but it stung all the same. It seemed no one trusted her today and perhaps they shouldn't.
Luce looked away and began thinking up excuses to leave. She wasn't wanted here. She shouldn't have come in the first place. Did she think today had changed anything? They were still enemies, still- "Come in."
Luce looked up sharply at the invitation to see Sedra stepping back and giving her the room to enter the house. Luce didn't move for a moment. She felt unsure. Worse, she actually felt...nervous. What would taking that step, accepting that invitation mean?
But she had already made a choice by just knocking on this door so, hesitantly, almost shyly, Luce stepped inside.
The carpet she stepped onto was soft and warm but the water dripping off her immediately began to soak through it. Since Luce was staring at her feet she noticed the growing dark spot around her and considered stepping back outside. "I, um, I'm sorry," she said quietly, "about the carpet that is."
It wasn't what she had meant to say. Unlike some, Luce didn't plan out speeches in advance, but she had figured she would say something that resembled, 'hi.' So she took a breath and started over. "Hi...." she lapsed into silence not knowing where to go from there.
Sedra:
Sedra didn't want to dwell on the implications of what she was doing by letting Luce inside. It felt like an admission of something Sedra hadn't wanted to accept, since it was too hard. The very nature of her world--the Yeerk Empire, the many Yeerks above and below her that made up the population of Earth now--dictated that it was her duty to walk over to the drawer where her dracon beam was and shoot Luce. Of course she knew she couldn't do that. Yet she'd been taught that there was no room for anything besides death, besides advancement of the Empire, besides the dirty ways that Yeerks treated each other. There was no room for compassion when you had to crush another creature's will just to be able to live some semblance of a life.
So, Sedra wanted to feel angry. That would be easy enough to feel, easy enough to deal with. It was a simple emotion. The thoughts were there; the outrage for what Luce had had a hand in doing to her fellow Yeerks, and the reaction that had been ingrained in her since birth--to hate the Animorphs. Angry words were on the tip of her tongue, something akin to 'what do you think you're doing here, after what's happened?' She knew she was mad, and it was hard not to just lash out at whatever or whoever she could. Grabbing a dracon beam might have been an obvious thing for her to do right now.
But Sedra wasn't thinking about getting her dracon beam. In fact, it wasn't even on her mind. With the wine glass still nestled in her palm, she had brought her gaze back to Luce. There was this urge in her to reach forward, to feel some kind of contact with the woman, a brief connection. The desire was odd. Everything about her brought back old memories; of Jals, of Eva. Luce reminded her of how it felt to experience that warm emotion, and it was at this moment, looking at her, that Sedra started feeling that sense of loss again, and that desire to have it back. Jals was gone. What was left for Sedra now? For a moment she looked like she was going to reach forward. She didn't.
"The carpet will live," Sedra said, trying to hide the small smile on her lips. Eventually she noticed Luce's shivering. "Hold on, I'll get a towel." Sedra paused, and then placed the wine glass down and disappeared down the hallway for a couple seconds.
When she returned, there were a couple fuzzy towels bundled in her arms. "Here." She moved forward, cautiously at first, to pull one of the dry towels around Luce's shoulders. Inwardly, she was still struggling with how to feel at the moment, what to say. Luce looked unsure as well. More than anything, she wanted to forget what had happened today, forget that there were things she would have to deal with in the morning.
And she wanted Luce to be here, however absurd that was. The wine she had drank earlier was burning through her veins making her feel relaxed, despite everything. However her voice still reflected a part of her weariness from the day. She let her eyes meet with Luce's, the dark blue hue soft. "Why are you here?"
Luce:
"That carpet will live," Sedra said and Luce looked up to see a hint of a smile on her face. Besides for letting her in this was the first indication that Luce had that Sedra might want her here.
Luce watched her walk away after she offered to get a towel and then used the time to quickly glance around the room. The whole thing was filled with a warm yellow light coming from a small chandelier and a lamp on a small table, a color that was only enhanced by the light gold of the walls and light brown of the drapes. The lamp was next to one of the two most comfortable looking couches Luce had ever seen. Both were a lush green that reminded Luce of the grass outside and the couches were covered in pillows.
The carpet Luce was standing on was cream colored and soft when it wasn't wet as she'd felt when she'd first stepped in. The small paintings above the fireplace and the bookshelf on the wall completed the picture of cozy luxury.
Luce felt herself relaxing almost against her will. She had not been in a place like this, free, for years. For free humans places like this didn't exist anymore.
She reached out a hand to touch a glass sculpture of a lioness sitting in a regal looking pose serving as a book end on the bookcase near the door. The warm light from the room infused it with a soft glow and its eyes almost seemed alive.
She noticed that her hands weren't shaking as much as her body began to take in the warmth of the room but her hand dropped back to her side as Sedra came back down the hallway almost as if she had been a child caught doing something she shouldn't. She still didn't know what the rules were in a situation like this or even if there were any.
Sedra was carrying a couple of very warm looking towels and they only reinforced the feeling of comfort that Luce was getting from the whole room. Luce raised her hand to take a towel but Sedra was already moving to wrap one around her shoulders.
It was the closest Luce had been to her since that night out in the desert and this time neither of them were in danger or hurt, at least not much. She drew in a breath as her heart sped up and distracted herself by gripping the sides of the towel and pulling it tighter around her shoulders.
She looked away and back down at the fascinating floor but her eyes couldn't stay away from Sedra for long and she looked up to find Sedra looking back at her.
"Why are you here?" The other woman asked her. It was a question she wasn't exactly prepared to answer.
"I...I just wanted to see if you were ok," Luce finally said and fingers with a mind of their own brushed some of Sedra's dark hair away from the small bruise that Sedra had received at the dam. Not by her hands but her fault, and her comrades.
Luce's own wounds, as grievous as they'd been, were all healed. The magic of morphing had worked again though Luce had to wonder how good the healing properties of morphing really were. They made the animorphs, to a man, more reckless with their bodies. And even though the wounds were gone Luce could almost feel them all still and she shivered, though this time it wasn't from cold.
Thinking of the dam brought back the unpleasant realities of this world and her hand and eyes dropped again. "I can go if you want me to." Her voice, like Sedra's had been, was soft. It was hard to speak in any louder tones when she was so unsure of what she was saying. She didn't want to leave. But more than anything she wanted Sedra to want her to stay.
She looked up at Sedra, her heart still beating too fast for her own liking.
Sedra:
The room was nice and warm, disturbed only by a slight breeze that briefly drifted through the room. It carried the pleasant scent of the rain inside the living room, mingling with the soft warmth. Luce's gaze had dropped away as Sedra drew near to wrap the towel around her shoulders. She hesitated, feeling Luce's closeness, wanting to do something--touch her hair, her cheek. It still felt forbidden, like she shouldn't.
Luce's answer caught her a tiny bit off guard. There had been a small suspicion in her that it was the case, but she hadn't fully given in to the thought that Luce would come here for her. It was nice hearing it from her lips. Sedra was on the verge of saying something when Luce reached forward and brushed some hair from her face.
She tensed involuntarily, surprised. She was still feeling a little jumpy from the dam, and the bruise was like an unpleasant reminder of the events. Thankfully, Yeerk medicine had worked quick to reduce the bump down to a small bruise. Luce's fingers sent tiny goosebumps across her skin, and then a dull thud of pain where the bruise was. Sedra felt herself relax a little, and found herself leaning into Luce's touch.
"I'm alive," She murmured. There didn't seem any real use for asking if Luce was alright; being a scientist, she knew her way around the morphing technology. At least, as much information as they had on it. It was something many Yeerk scientists would kill just to study. It was hard not to be amazed--and a tiny bit jealous--by it, and Sedra had to stop herself from spilling out a bunch of questions to Luce.
Instead, she forced a tight smile onto her face. "Though, who knows by tomorrow if I still will be." She didn't know who would get pinned for the utter failure on the dam. Sedra had been involved in the Kandrona tower security, which might put her in a tight spot with the higher-ranks. Then again, there were other controllers who were supposed to protect the dam. Maybe the blame would fall with them. Either way, the anxiety about it was evident on the edges of her voice, even as she tried to hide it.
"I can go if you want me to."
Sedra didn't say anything at first, feeling her hand drop away. "I..." Sedra trailed off, stopping herself. She didn't want Luce to go, but she wasn't sure exactly how to express it. Part of her was fighting to hold back, to continue feeling uncertain about this whole situation. The other part just wanted to relax into the comfort of the room and enjoy Luce's presence. To be near her.
"No. No, stay." It sounded like a suggestion by her tone, but the look on her face had quickly changed. The glassy demeanor had dropped, and there was a sincere expression in her eyes. "Do you want to sit or something?" She motioned towards the couches.
Luce:
Luce smiled when Sedra asked her to stay. Her tone and her eyes put Luce at ease for the first time since she had stepped through the door. Sedra could often seem cold, an illusion backed up by the icy blue, hard edge her eyes sometimes took on. And since reconnecting with her Luce had almost exclusively seen that side of her, only catching glimpses of something else underneath. But that cool demeanor wasn't here now and she even seemed a bit unsure of what to do which Luce felt put them on equal footing if nothing else. She wasn't sure where she could hope to go from here but at least Sedra wanted her to stay.
She looked over at the couches she had been admiring a moment before and then down at the carpet she was standing on though this time it wasn't out of uncertainty. She opened the towel a bit and looked down at her body. "I'm a bit wet." It was an obvious understatement, she was still dripping though she wasn't cold anymore. "I think," she said looking up a touch of her usual dry humor in her voice, "that the couch would go the same way as the carpet if I did."
Sedra:
Sedra caught her smile, and found herself feeling a bit of warmth from it. "I see that." Her gaze followed Luce's down to the carpet, where the rain water was soaking up, then looked back to Luce. A soft, faint smile curved on her lips; it was an expression that wasn't seen often on her. The humor in Luce's voice seemed to set Sedra more at ease. "You might be right with that. Don't want to ruin the couches."
As she spoke a flash of lightning lit the sky outside, coloring the dark backyard in white. In the brief second of illumination, she had noticed the small outline of a cat huddled next to a tree trunk. Sedra recognized the animal--it was the neighborhood cat. In the quiet evenings when Sedra had only Catherine for company, she had given in to her host's urgings and set some food out for the thing. Since then it returned each night and waited outside. Animals never meshed well with Yeerk ambition--especially seeing as how it was the main weapon of the Animorphs--and Sedra had expected to see the cat end up gone at some point. Yet still, here it was. Living. Surviving. Sedra wasn't quite sure what to make of it. So, she continued to feed it.
Thinking about that then, Sedra noticed there was a silence in her head, a strange absence of her host's usual remarks. She could only feel distant emotions, distant feelings. Quiet, her gaze returned to Luce, one fuzzy towel still in her hands. Even though her own thoughts felt tangled up and confused, the room was warm and the lingering worries from earlier today were slowly ebbing away. "I have some extra clothes upstairs you can change into." As Luce had held her towel open slightly, Sedra had given her a coy glance. "I think they would fit."
Luce:
Luce's intense green eyes studied Sedra trying to read her and figure out if there was an invitation in those last words. Perhaps there was and she wasn't sure how she felt about that.
Well that was a lie. She knew damn well how she felt about it, her feelings just happened to be at odds with what she was "supposed" to be feeling about it. But even being here was going against what she was supposed to be doing so why was she still holding onto her reservations so strongly? Maybe it was just the type of person she was.
It was a little sad to realize that she was someone who could no longer just let go and do things without considering the consequences. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, it was just a mark of adulthood and she felt the normal sense of nostalgia for the perceived innocence and care free existence of childhood.
But even if she had taken on many of the burdens of adulthood, and a difficult one at that, Luce was still young in a lot of ways and never was it more clear to her than now. She had never had a chance to learn how to do this, to learn how to talk to those she cared for. The years others had spent falling in and out of love Luce had spent alone and then, later, enslaved.
But in this, at least, she wasn't alone though she probably didn't know that. No one knew the right thing to say to ones they loved all the time.
"Dry sounds awfully good right now, second only to warm," she said as she wrapped the towel back around her and tried to get off some of the excess water so that she would stop dripping at least. "Leave it to me to pick the one night it rains here," she said looking outside as another lighting flash lit up the backyard.
Sedra:
The faint smile was still on her lips. "Must be bad luck." Sedra said, then offered the other towel to dry the floor. "This might help the carpet. I'll get you some clothes." Sedra glanced towards the table, where the wine glass and bottle stood. "And you're welcome to a drink, if you want some." There was some uncertainty hiding under her calm expression. It was easy to interact with controllers outside her house. It was easy to interact with the Animorphs on the battlefield. But it felt strange, to be having such normal conversation in such an odd situation. Beyond that, to be a little flushed in Luce's presence.
Sedra paused, her eyes resting on Luce, almost saying something, then turned to go grab her some dry clothes. The hallway was dark and she could still hear the steady drizzle of rain hitting the roof. Was this the right thing to do? To forget her anger, forget her loyalties to the Empire. To be hospitable to someone who had a hand in boiling thousands of Yeerks alive.
Making it to the top of the stairs, Sedra felt a small anger twisting at her gut. She felt lost. It wasn't a feeling she was used to or particularly liked. For everything that had been done today and the days before, she should be mad. She should be furious, she should yell and tell her to leave. Something. But she didn't.
<<She saved you.>> Catherine's presence surprised Sedra, but she didn't outwardly react. <<She's come here for you.>> The words made Sedra pause. Not for Catherine. Behind the mental wall between them, Sedra could feel tiny sting of her host's sadness. Along with it, some strange sort of optimism. It was the same sort of thought Catherine had had back when Jals was around. She thought that Sedra caring for someone changed things. It was nonsense.
Sedra pushed open the doors to her bedroom, flicking the light on. Was she crazy? Was she going crazy? Wanting a Yeerk had been bad enough. Wanting an Animorph was insanity. With Jals things had been clear, if not dangerous. This was different.
Then, the same thoughts kept emerging: Why should I care? She's not Jals. Jals is dead. Sliding open the closet door, Sedra scanned Catherine's old wardrobe. The thought of Jals being dead made her feel raw inside. It wasn't something she allowed herself to think about much, knowing it would just get in the way of things. Luce had said she hadn't killed Jals and when she had said it, Sedra had believed her. And now, even knowing Jals was gone, even knowing that the subtle body language and the smile was not from her, Sedra still felt drawn to Luce. She was the remainder of what Sedra had lost; Family, affection, love.
Sedra returned down the stairs, clothing cradled in her hands. The look on her face was the same--calm, quiet. Maybe a tiny bit playful. "Here. Luce. Dry clothes to the rescue." For the first time tonight, Sedra had said her name out loud. As she spoke, the storm outside was kicking up, battering cold rain against the patio.
Luce:
Luce's took the towel from Sedra and her eyes briefly rested on the wine bottle when Sedra offered. She turned her face towards the glass door and looked back outside lest Sedra see the expression of disquiet on her face. Luce didn't drink alcohol, or take any drugs or even use medication like aspirin if she could help it. She didn't carry a dracon beam on her though she was being forced to reconsider that personal choice more and more these days. But the reason behind her dislike of dracon guns and alcohol was the same, they reminded her of Jals.
The yeerk had been big on indulgence and in its free moments it had "indulged" in a lot, too much. Luce had no idea if her body would ever recover from some of the experiments Jals had put it through. Even now she held herself away from the bars and clubs in Vegas where she knew coke and heroin would be in ample supply to those who knew how to get it. Addictions were hard to throw off, your body never fully forgot what that drug felt like. Jals' gift to her.
So even though Sedra had made the offer Luce didn't go near the bottle of wine after she'd left to run upstairs and she hated how her eyes kept straying to it.
She watched the storm through the glass doors, confused more now than she had been a moment before. She had no idea what she was supposed to be feeling. She felt guilty that she had betrayed her faction's trust but she was overwhelmingly glad that Sedra was alive. But that just made her feel guilty that she cared about an enemy. Especially this enemy.
Sedra had stood and watched while she had been infested, she had helped. And remembering that quiet day, the two aliens standing over her, their arrogance, their uncaring flirtation while her freedom got ripped away from her....it made her angry. It made her worse than angry, it made her weak. They had taken away her ability to fight for anything that she had wanted, made her powerless, made her a victim.
And no matter how much she tried to get away from the feeling of powerlessness she felt like it was right behind her, that if she stopped running for even a minute it would catch up to her and swallow her whole. But was running any better? Wasn't it just another way of being a victim. Jals had controlled her life and, she just realized, it was controlling her still.
Jals had done that to her. But Sedra had too. And being here felt like a betrayal, like she was dishonoring the memory of someone, of that girl who she had been, a girl that had died that day.
She closed her eyes and leaned forward and rested her forehead against the cool glass of the door. The hand holding the extra towel dropped to her side while the other held her towel around her shoulders. Her hands began to close into fists. It would have been so much easier to be angry, to have an enemy to fight, to just keep hating them both. Humans good, yeerks bad, simple world to live in. Too bad it didn't exist.
"What do I do?" The question came out in a quiet, pleading voice. It was not a tone she ever used and the question seemed to be directed at the gods she didn't believe in. "Just tell me what to do...please." Who was she even talking to?
There was a clicking sound against the glass door and Luce opened her eyes to see a pair of green-yellow ones looking back at her. The cat raised its paws and scratched the glass again, begging to be let in. It looked about as sorry as Luce had when she had been standing on the doorstep in the rain, except maybe worse. The cat was covered in fur and, currently, it was all soaked through and sticking to the cat's thin frame making it look like a very scrawny cat.
Luce pushed herself away from the glass door and looked around to see if Sedra had gotten back yet and then slid open the door a bit. The cat slipped through and went right over to the kitchen. Not finding what it was looking for it came back over to Luce and let out an inquisitive meow.
Luce looked at it in surprise. She knew that the cat hadn't come here randomly, it must be used to being fed here. In all her time coming here Luce had never seen Sedra feed a cat and she would have thought the slight gesture of kindness beyond the icy sub-visser. Though, of all the people in the world, Luce probably should have known better.
The cat had tracked little wet paw prints over the carpet and onto the tile of the kitchen and back again. "You're worse than I am," Luce said bending down and picking up the cat. She wrapped it in the spare towel and began trying to dry it off. She didn't expect this to work very well. Cats normally didn't like being held, especially a feral cat like this one had to be, but surprisingly it held still.
She heard Sedra coming back down the stairs and turned to watch her come back into the living room. As she walked up she actually looked relaxed, maybe even playful and when she held out the clothes to her she sounded playful too. Combined with seeing the cat Luce realized that, while that girl she'd been was gone, whoever Sedra had been that day was gone too. They were both different. Better? She didn't know the answer to that, but different, yes. And perhaps this Sedra wasn't her enemy. Luce didn't want her to be.
Luce put the cat down and it shook itself a bit, like a dog would, making its fur stick up in spikes. Now it looked like it had been electrocuted but the cat seemed to be unaware that it was not up to usual cat standards of perfection. It looked from one woman to the other and then, let out that call again. It didn't care that there was a war going on, that the two people standing here were supposed to be enemies. It just knew it wanted to be fed and neither of them were feeding it.
"Thanks," Luce said taking the bundle of clothing. "I think your cat is hungry," she said smiling slowly as the cat cried again and went over to Sedra. Luce looked down at the clothes, "I'll, uh, just go put these on while you do that." She walked down the hall Sedra had come from looking for a bathroom. The prospect of changing in front of Sedra was an intriguing and yet frightening one. It was not a step she was ready to take, not yet anyway.
She found a bathroom on the first floor in the hallway and pushed her shoulder against the door, letting her into the small, dark room. Her bare feet encountered the cold of tiles and she flicked the light switch next to the door. She found herself looking at herself in a mirror framed in dark wood.
The walls in here were painted a shade somewhere between salmon and red. There was a thin painting of jungle ferns on the right wall and a small rectangular candle holder with a palm tree design around the bottom of it on the back of the toilet. Combined with the small bamboo plant on a table right next to the door and the color of the walls it gave off a tropical feel.
The thought gone into the interior designing matched the living room and kitchen outside and again Luce was struck at the level of luxury that Sedra was able to live in. She closed the door quietly behind her trying to put the feelings of resentment starting to overtake her when she thought of the humans who had none of this. She put the clothes Sedra had given her down and then quickly stripped off the wet a-shirt that was part of her morphing outfit. It was normally a dark gray but it looked black at the moment.
She wrung it out over the sink which was below the mirror and then looked around at a loss of what to do with it. She decided that she would bundle it into the towel when she had finished using it to dry off with. The shorts went the same way and she quickly wiped off as much water as she could before making a bundle of it all.
She reached for the dry clothes realizing she hadn't taken the time to look at them in her nervous rush to get out of the room. She pulled out a pair of jeans, always a good choice, and pulled them on. The dry clothing felt good and she felt warmer already though she wasn't going to be very warm as long she she was standing on the cold tile.
She pulled on the soft, cotton t-shirt, the neck and shoulders getting wet as her hair fell on it. Since there wasn't much she could do about her hair, just wring it out as much as possible over the sink, she didn't worry about the problem.
There was one last thing waiting for her. Luce picked up the white piece of clothing and held it up in confusion trying to figure out what it was. After about thirty seconds of careful scrutiny she as able to determine it was a sweater of some kind but that was mostly due to the fabric it was made out of, a soft, finely woven cashmere. The cut itself was confusing to say the least. There were things that looked like sleeves but seemed permanently fastened to straps in the back of the sweater while there were holes she had to assume were maybe for arms. Or were the holes large pockets? And there was a zipper involved in all of that. So she wasn't sure if the was supposed to pull it on or undo it and slip it on or what.
"Leave it to high fashion to make a sweater complicated," she muttered under her breath and just put the sweater over her shoulder for the moment. The fact that Sedra had seen how cold she was and put a sweater in her clothing touched her but that didn't her any more inclined to stand in here and try to figure the thing out.
She picked up the bundle of wet clothing but then put it back down. There was no place for it outside either and she knew that if she left it in a bundle like this it wouldn't dry. So she hung the towel, and then the clothes over it, on the towel rack by the door and walked back into the hallway, switching the light off as she did so.
She walked back towards the living room, unconsciously walking as silently as possible. Sedra came into view around the corner and Luce held up the sweater. "I have no idea how to wear this," she said in a matter of fact tone though there was a hint of frustration under it that she hadn't been able to figure out something as simple as putting on an article of clothing on her own. Then again it was a complicated sweater.
Sedra:
Sedra had noticed the cat in Luce's arms once she had returned downstairs, but hadn't immediately reacted to her bringing it in the house. There had been a brief flash of what looked like guilt mixed with a touch of bashfulness that crossed her face--as if Luce had caught Sedra doing something she shouldn't be. Then the look disappeared quickly.
"Oh. Yeah, alright." It felt exposing to have Luce see the cat. Usually others didn't see Sedra when she was relaxed or away from work, and she liked to keep it that way. However, Luce wasn't a Yeerk. Luce wasn't here to pick out tiny flaws and report the smallest of infractions to the higher-ups. It was something Sedra suddenly appreciated at this moment. The cat, uncaring of Sedra's embarrassment, weaved affectionately around her ankles, its wet tail flicking back and forth in anticipation.
Luce went off to change, and Sedra glanced down again. The cat had settled on its hindquarters and was blinking up at her with wide, bright green eyes. A small smirk found its way onto the corners of her lips as her eyes scanned over the little paw prints circling on the carpet and tiles. She glanced briefly over to where Luce had disappeared down the hallway, then back at the cat. It was shifting nervously in expectation, letting out another soft meow.
After a small amount of hesitation, Sedra gave in. "Alright. Come on." She said, heading into the kitchen. The cat seemed to understand the cue and followed immediately behind her, bumping into her legs as it brushed past. It stopped under one of the cabinets, tail swishing back and forth excitedly. Sedra opened the cabinet, pulling out a can of tuna. Pet food wasn't exactly found in many places anymore--controllers weren't really supposed to keep pets or animals--and the tuna was an easy replacement. The cat loved it either way. As Sedra opened the can he bumped his head against her leg, a gentle purr vibrating in its throat.
Kneeling down, she set the can on tiled floor. The cat meowed one last time before bounding forward and digging in. Sedra inspected him briefly, taking note of the new scratches he had gained since coming here last. He was a scrawny-looking cat, which was made worse by the rain that had drenched his coat to the bone. The scratches and bite-marks on his face were probably from other sorts of animals running around the neighborhood. Sedra rarely saw them, but she knew they were around. And she knew controllers who enjoyed frying them.
Gathering the towel, Sedra wiped some of the paw prints from the tiles as she waited for Luce to return. After a few minutes, she glanced up and found Luce walking back into the living room with the sweater in hand. It was sort of different seeing her in actual clothing, instead of the tight-fitting suits that the Animorphs normally wore.
"I have no idea how to wear this."
Sedra draped the towel over one of the chairs, glancing to the sweater Luce was holding up. It was one of her more comfortable and warm sweaters in her wardrobe. However, she didn't get to wear it much because of the hot weather in Vegas. But she could see it being a little hard to figure out on a first try, and smiled a little at the sound of Luce's frustration.
"Oh? Well..." Taking a couple steps forward, Sedra reached out and took hold of the sweater. "...You have to unzip this--" she pulled at it and tugged at the zipper. "--You have to put it over your head and slide your arms here..."
Both:
Luce looked at Sedra skeptically as she took the sweater from her. Luce would have rather not worn it at all than accept help putting it on, but it was a little late for that. So, as Sedra pointed out the various holes that she was supposed to be sticking head and arms through, she gave it a try. She took the sweater back from Sedra and began pulling it on over her head now that the neck was unzipped enough to allow her to do so.
Concentrating on the puzzle of the sweater distracted her from concentrating on the fact that Sedra was standing very close. She found herself automatically slowing her breathing down, something she only did when she practicing staying calm. "Why do you even own a sweater this complicated?" she asked the note of frustration still present in her voice though there was also a hint of embarrassment.
With a slight bit of amusement present on her face, Sedra watched Luce take back the sweater and struggle to put it on. She seemed to be having a bit of trouble with it, and after a couple seconds Sedra pushed away her reluctance and moved to help Luce get the sweater on. "It's not--" Luce was pulling it the wrong way, and Sedra tried to shift it in the right direction. "--It's not supposed to be this--ah. Hard--" She paused, trying not to let out a small laugh.
"--It was expensive. And nice. It's worth the struggle, I assure you." Sedra was too busy paying attention to helping Luce to notice the cat had finished eating awhile ago. After licking its paw, it looked over at them. Then the cat stretched out his paws, yawning, and padded over to the two women. He ended up behind Luce, weaving around her legs and letting out a short, light meow.
Luce's head was currently lost somewhere inside the sweater. "I think you're wrong," she said. Her voice, muffled by the expensive cashmere, came out more frustrated than it was before. "I'm taking it off," she said and began pulling at the article of clothing.
"Alright." Sedra said, and helped by pulling at the same time. Luce took a step back to help the make the whole process easier, and her bare heels encountered the warm softness of the cat's body as it tried to get the attention it was owed as one of the masters of the universe.
Sedra was ready to step back and let Luce figure her way out of the sweater when the cat yelped beneath their feet, causing Luce to jerk her foot away. The noise caused Sedra to jump, and suddenly she was grasping at the tangled sweater to try and stop Luce from falling backwards.
Luce hadn't thought she'd stepped on the cat but the jerky reaction was an instinctual one and the motion caused her to lose her balance. Windmilling would have been helpful and her arms tried to move but they were currently caught in the sweater.
"Ahh--!" Sedra got a handful of cloth in one hand, and with her other hand she tried reaching out and leaning forward. The action caused her to lose balance and she ended up stumbling right after Luce--who had already tripped and was falling backward, although she had managed to clear her head of the sweater.
Their legs collided with the soft cushion of the couch and Sedra fell forward, sprawling onto Luce. Immediately Sedra braced one hand against the soft cushions beneath them, pushing her body back far enough so that she wasn't squishing Luce. They were suddenly face to face, dark curls of Sedra's hair tickling Luce's face and neck.
The look on Sedra's face was surprised, maybe a little bit flustered. She froze, unsure. Then a slow smile crept onto her face. All the tension that had been stiff in her body began to fade away. She started laughing lightly.
Luce sniffed when Sedra started laughing, her pride a little bruised but she too started laughing, the sound holding more relief than amusement. She let her head fall on the back of the couch. She realized that she had been thinking of Sedra and herself as titles more than people. Yeerk, Animorph, enemies. It was a relief to just be here with her as another person.
She pulled the sweater the rest of the way off her arms and threw it to the side of the couch. "I'm not cold anymore anyway," she muttered and it was true. If struggling with the sweater hadn't been enough to warm her up the fact that Sedra's body now covered most of hers certainly did, and for more reasons than just body heat.
The laughing subsided slowly. Sedra hadn't meant it to be mean, but the whole situation had needed something silly to break the tension--and the laughing served as a release of suppressed emotion. As Luce pulled the sweater away, Sedra shook her head. "I admit it. The sweater might be too complicated to wear."
After throwing off the sweater Luce looked up into Sedra's laughing blue eyes and a soft, warm smile. There was no hint of the earlier wariness and Luce found herself smiling back, no hint of her usual sarcasm in her expression.
Bringing her gaze back to Luce's, Sedra fell quiet. She was admiring the beautiful green hue of her eyes--and the unexpected gentleness to them--when she felt Luce's hand on her neck, then the kiss to her lips. It wasn't a conscious choice on Luce's part. Like most of Luce's best decisions this one was made by instinct.
Sedra paused, and pulled back slightly, surprised. It hadn't been totally unexpected, but it still caught her off guard--how pleasant it felt, how easily things had just slipped into this. That she really wanted it.
Could she do this? The question popped into her mind without warning, and the look in her eyes betrayed the moment's hesitation. But it was gone almost immediately. In its place, she looked content. Gently, she leaned forward and pressed her lips back to Luce's in another soft kiss, her fingertips brushing against the curve of Luce's cheek.
For a moment Luce had been afraid that Sedra would pull away but before a sense of unease could begin to set in Sedra's lips were on hers and Luce had to choose between kissing and smiling and was alternating between the two. The hand on Sedra's neck slowly moved until her fingertips were buried in Sedra's soft hair.
The doubts that still lingered, even in the smallest bit, didn't matter right now. For the first time in what seemed like ages, Sedra felt good. It was a peace she rarely knew, especially with the amount of responsibilities and duties and other things that were laid heavy on her. In this moment, they were gone. In this moment the enemy wasn't in her house. Just Luce.
Sedra shifted slightly to get more comfortable, straddling Luce. She tilted her head and placed small, teasing kisses on Luce's lips. After a moment her fingers traced a line down Luce's cheek, coming to rest on the smooth curve of her neck. Beneath her fingertips she could feel the beat of Luce's pulse speed up, and a small smile inched onto the curve of her lips. Leaning forward Sedra pressed another kiss to Luce's mouth, parting her warm lips with her tongue, the taste of her pleasant and sweet.
Luce's other hand, which had been sitting on the couch now ran up her thigh, palm and fingers pressed against the smooth curve of denim. For the second time that day Luce had an overwhelming feeling that what she was doing was right and with that feeling came contentment. This was where she was supposed to be.
She didn't try to control her heart rate now. It sped up as her breathing sped up and she took in Sedra's scent, a mixture of jasmine and something else Luce couldn't identify. It was a familiar smell and for a moment Luce's mind was over run by memories of her controlled years, each one a terrible, intricate mixture of pleasure and pain that left her feeling weak. But she pushed them away. She didn't want this to be connected to the past. Jals wasn't here, she was, and this was new--and it was hers.
Sedra shifted forward a little, encouraging, and her other hand danced down the cotton t-shirt Luce had just put on, then slipped beneath it. Luce's skin was soft and heated against her palm and Sedra brushed the tips of her fingers up Luce's side.
Suddenly, Luce's body jerked away from Sedra's touch as if she'd been hurt. Confused, Sedra pulled away from her, a little bit surprised. "...Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, fine. Just...nothing," Luce said not wanting Sedra to guess what had made her react like that.
Sedra sat back, eyes scanning Luce's face, one eyebrow lifted. There wasn't any real sign--in her expression or anything--of what made her jerk away like that, and Sedra thought briefly that maybe Luce was reconsidering this whole situation.
Sedra frowned faintly, unsure if she should move. "Really. Nothing." Then again, Luce had twitched away after Sedra had touched her side. After a moment Sedra seemed to put it together--Jals had been really ticklish there. Logically, so should Luce. "...You sure?" A small, mischievous smile touched on her lips.
Luce saw the smile and she realized that Sedra had seen through her. As Sedra's smile grew wider Luce tried her best to glare, though in this situation she couldn't exactly conjure up the animosity required. "Sedra... don't."
She said it as a command knowing the moment it came out of her mouth that it would probably have no affect. "Don't," she said again, a hint of entreaty in her voice now.
Sedra's smile deepened a little at Luce's glare, and she tried to muster up an innocent look on her face. "Hm? Don't what?" Shifting slightly, Sedra gave her a sly look. She looked like she was getting ready to do something. "Don't... do this?" Moving like she was pouncing, Sedra reached forward swiftly and started tickling Luce.
"No!" Luce yelled right before she began laughing and squirming, trying to get away from the very hands she had welcomed a moment before. "Sedra," she got out between gasps, "stop."
She tried to catch Sedra's hands but they kept managing to slip through her defenses and she couldn't move much to protect her sensitive sides.
"Hmm?" Sedra said, acting as if she couldn't hear Luce's words. An amused smile was on her lips, and Luce's wriggling was making her laugh a little bit. Every attempt of Luce's to block her hands was quickly evaded, and she continued tickling her sides despite the pleas to stop.
Having Luce pinned against the couch seemed to help, as she couldn't dodge or move out of the way. Luce was trapped, defenseless under Sedra's hands and weaponless as well since she knew Sedra wasn't ticklish. Sedra seemed to be enjoying this a lot, as she couldn't stop herself from laughing.
Luce was struggling for breath now and partially doubled up, but to no avail. She had to do something.
She stopped trying to defend herself and went on the offensive instead. She shifted her weight, pushing up and pushing Sedra down onto the couch at the same time.
"Ah, no!" The exclamation was said in fake frustration--Sedra was still chuckling even as she was pulled down. The moment she realized what Luce was doing she had tried stopping her, but instead found herself pinned, length-wise, on the couch. They had gone from sitting to lying on the couch but this time Luce was on top, on hand on the arm rest behind Sedra's head holding her body off her.
Sedra couldn't reach Luce's side to tickle very well anymore, and so stopped for now. Luce closed her eyes as her breathing returned to normal, her hair falling around her face and lightly brushing Sedra's cheeks and neck.
As Luce caught her breath, Sedra did as well, shifting a bit on the couch until she was comfortable. Taking a slow, even breath, Sedra slipped her hands up and ran her fingers through Luce's dark hair. Luce trailed light kisses along Sedra's collarbone, lingering over each one.
"Revenge," Luce said lifting her head and looking into Sedra's eyes, "is sweet," a small smile curved on her lips.
"Damn. You got me," Sedra said softly, smirking. Glancing up, her dark blue eyes locked onto Luce's. Luce softly kissed Sedra again and her kiss was met with a warm eagerness. Sedra's eyes slipped close, dark eyelashes touching her across cheeks. One of Sedra's hands slipped around Luce's lower back, palm flat, pulling her slightly closer. While Luce's free hand slipped under the loose blouse Sedra was wearing and her fingers lightly traced nonsense patterns on her skin.
After a moment, Luce pulled back from Sedra reluctantly. There was a little voice in the back of her head that wouldn't let her fully let go and enjoy the moment no matter how she tried to quiet it so she let it have its say. She knew from personal experience that you could see into this living room at night and tonight, any night really but especially tonight, would be a bad time for either of them to be found here, together.
"We should go upstairs."
Sedra felt Luce move away and opened her eyes to look at her, shifting so that her elbows rested against the couch's armrest. With one eyebrow perked, a coy smile touched to her lips. "Alright." She pulled herself into a fully sitting position, brushing fingers through the dark, thick curls of her hair. Pushing off of the couch Sedra paused, beckoning Luce to follow. "This way."
She turned to head down the hallway leading to the stairs, but paused briefly. Out of the corner of her eye she had noticed that the cat was still there, curled up peacefully next to his empty food dish. Her gaze shifted back to Luce, who had moved from the couch to follow behind her. Sedra's expression was light. She wasn't going to let herself worry about the consequences of everything right now. Turning back towards the hallway, Sedra headed into the darkness where the stairs were, Luce following close behind.
Cat (Sedra):
One of the cat's ears swiveled forward, listening for the two human's hushed steps and the sound of their voices. Sliding one eye open, the cat watched as the two women headed down the hallway. Then he lifted his head from the floor, both ears perked forward, the tip of his tail tapping softly against the kitchen's tiled floor.
Since he was dry and warm now, his scraggly fur had puffed out and had a nice, clean sheen to it. His bright green eyes, despite giving a longing glance to his now-empty food dish, had a look of quiet satisfaction to them. Slowly, he laid his head back down and dozed off to sleep. His plans were secure for now.