Untitled

[Alain]

Disclaimer: This is just a scene that presented itself to me when I was looking over the character request. I don't have a title for it yet. Most of the time my titles present themselves somewhere near the end of a piece so I imagine it will have a title eventually. It takes place in the past and I hope posting it here will not detract from New York's present.

---

"You have to give me a new host!" Diya 387 was yelling and he knew he should try to control himself but the yeerk in front of him obviously had no idea of what it was like to live with a slave in your head. He closed his eyes as one finger circled his temple trying to soothe the headache that had been with him constantly for the past few weeks.

"Your file says your host is voluntary," the Host Assigner in front of him said in a smooth voice that still managed to convey his impatience as he looked at Diya over the frames of his reading glasses, his eyes unsympathetic.

"He used to be voluntary." The words were forced out around clenched teeth. The muscles in his neck were straining against the skin as he worked to keep his voice at a reasonable volume. "But he is not anymore and he's driving me crazy." The last word was said with enough desperation and vehemence that it was no doubt true but it failed to move the bureaucrat in front of him.

"Diya 387," the formality of his full name told him his request was about to be rejected, "90% of our hosts are involuntary. Just because you have had the luxury," his words were accompanied by a slightly disgusted stare for what he no doubt perceived as a spoiled child, "of having a voluntary host does not give you the right to demand a new one now that he has become a slight annoyance." Diya opened his mouth to explain just how much of an annoyance Alain had become but the Host Assigner spoke right over him. "Your host is a valuable asset to the Empire so you had better learn to control him. Thank you for bringing me your request but it is impossible at this time." The Controller closed down the virtual file in front of him and stared at Diya, waiting for him to leave.

Diya just looked at him, the pleading naked in his eyes. He was in too much discomfort to try to hide it but, as throughout the entire meeting, his situation failed to evoke any sympathetic response in the controller in charge of giving out hosts so Diya just pushed himself up out of his chair and left the office.

[Alain]

Lora traced one finger down his chest as the head of her host rested on his shoulder. "Is it really that bad," she asked, looking up at him. He was staring at the ceiling but the arm around Lora's shoulders tightened. Even Alain could not fight all day and Diya was experiencing a short period of peace that was only enhanced by the fog alcohol had caused to settle on his thoughts. But he knew the respite was temporary. Ever since they'd gotten the news that their weapons design had been used to destroy Dallas Alain had turned into a man possessed and he railed against his confinement at every available moment.

Diya did not know how to deal with it. He'd practically grown up inside Alain and the man had always worked well with him before. For a human he had shown a surprising amount of pride in the work they'd accomplished together and, while Diya had never harbored ambitions for power, it had seemed like they were on the fast track to a relatively secure and comfortable existence.

Alain had even helped him begin this courtship with Lora when he'd first conceived of it, teasing Diya about his lack of courage. Diya would never call Alain a friend, the motivations that had brought him into the fold of voluntary controllers were too ugly for that, but he had counted the man among his allies. Unlike other yeerks Diya saw humans for the people they were and sought to use them for their talents and the Host Assigner had been right about one thing, Alain's mind was a resource to the Empire. Alain was responsible for at least half of their break throughs but he had become worse than useless in the past few weeks. His constant barrage against his captivity actually distracted Diya and made it much harder for him to concentrate on his work, something he couldn't afford on a project this important.

"It's that bad," was all he said as he closed his eyes and willed himself to go to sleep. He knew what would await him in the morning but, for now, Lora was beside him, her warmth unbelievably comforting, and everything inside his mind was quiet.

He felt Lora settle beside him, taking her cue from him, and he turned on his side so that he could hold her. Her arm fell across his waist and her fingers stroked his spine. She said something to him just as he was about to cross over but he didn't understand it and he was too far gone to ask her to repeat herself. His mind let her words slip away as he fell asleep.

[Alain]

"wha-" he mumbled sleepily as he felt Lora pull away from him. He started to open his eyes and he felt a large force tighten around his chest and pluck him from the bed with ease. His heart went into overdrive and his eyes popped open but nothing he was seeing was making any sense. The lights in the room were too dim to see properly and he could only make out shapes and shadows as they swung across his vision.

In the back of his mind Alain was coming awake like a hornets nest and Diya forcefully pushed him away, trying to clear the confusion in his own mind so that he could figure out what was going on. But before either of them could fully awaken a heavy pressure around their neck rendered them unconscious.

[Alain]

Diya's headache was back. That was the first thing he thought of as he swam toward consciousness. He opened his eyes and blinked to try to clear his vision. A hand instinctively came up to wipe his eyelashes free of grit while the other pushed him into a sitting position as he realized he was lying on a floor.

<<You're awake.>> Alain's voice was tight with his attempt to hold himself apart from the yeerk in his head. He knew that Diya could read every thought, every emotion, but that did not mean he couldn't separate himself from the alien. He felt Diya's flash of annoyance and, underneath it, confusion and even a bit of hurt but he had no sympathy for the yeerk.

"Yes, I'm awake," Diya said out loud in their shared voice. He looked around the room he was in and only discovered bare concrete walls illuminated by a naked light bulb. "Where are we?" Diya felt Alain's lack of knowledge without the man needing to say anything. The thought was also accompanied by an odd sort of scorn as if to say, "you can read my thoughts, why bother asking." It hadn't used to be like this. They'd used to work together. Now it was a constant fight inside of his own head. Diya shut Alain off from his thoughts and closed himself to Alain's. Let the man enjoy the privacy he kept complaining he didn't have. It was better than listening to his unhelpful snipes.

Alain felt Diya withdraw. He would have slumped in exhaustion but he was not in control of his body. He felt a bit of satisfaction at pushing Diya away but he wondered what the point was. He had hoped to push Diya into killing him and taking a new host. He'd even succeeded. But Diya had tried to find a new host and been denied one. He was stuck with Alain for the time being and that meant Alain was trapped. So what was the point of continuing to fight him?

Diya turned as a door on the far side of the room opened and a short, young woman walked through. Her skin was the color of tarnished copper and her eyes were kind. She closed the door firmly behind her and walked over to him. She had a glass of water in one hand and the other was empty but it moved oddly. As he watched her walk across the room he noticed that in never strayed too far from her hip. He wondered if she were injured but that was honestly the least of his questions.

"Who are you?" He asked as he began to stand up. She motioned for him to stay on the floor and he automatically complied before wondering why he was taking her orders. She had an air of command about her that he associated with the Visser class but no Visser had ever treated him in this manner. He was a valuable scientist and he was careful never to do anything that would bring him unwanted attention.

"My name is Cassie," she said calmly as she held the glass out to him. Diya stared at it and then looked up into the eyes of the most wanted human on the planet. Her almost serene demeanor scared him more than anything else could for it meant she was sure of her power here. He remembered what he'd felt when he'd awoken last time, the feeling of being plucked from his bed. He looked around the room, the whites of his eyes beginning to show as he started to panic. "Diya." Diya recoiled from the sound of his name from her lips and backed up against the wall. He pushed himself into a standing position. On the other side of his mental wall he could feel Alain's confusion and a sharp spike of hope. He told the human to shut up in mental terms and tried to get control of himself.

"How," his voice shook and he cleared his throat to buy him the time to steady it. When he spoke again it wasn't as shaky but it wasn't as confident as he would have liked either. "How do you know my name?" Cassie put the glass of water down on a small, fold up card table that was against one wall.

"You've come to our attention because of your work Diya," Cassie said in a conversational tone. It was infuriating. He wanted to yell at her. She was a murderer and a rebel. Who was she to speak to him, a respected scientist, this way. But he knew his anger was born of fear. This woman was the most dangerous enemy of his people and he knew she had earned that reputation a dozen times over. She had stood toe to toe with Vissers and her soldiers had scorched the west.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Diya answered as his eyes still searched the room for a way to escape. Silence greeted his denials and when he finally let his eyes meet those of his captor he saw only patience there. "I don't." He said again, knowing she didn't believe him.

"Diya," Cassie said almost kindly. "You will tell me what you know or your host will." She said it as if it were already so and, he realized, for her it was. She had no doubt that she would get the information she wanted.

"I'm not telling you anything," he said, anger at her arrogance replacing his fear. Again, she didn't respond, just stood and waited for him. "Get out!" he yelled, taking his first step away from the wall. He saw the hand that seemed to be hovering around her waist twitch and he stopped. He looked at her, defiance in his eyes. "Get out of here!" She didn't move and he took another step toward her. She calmly drew the dracon beam that had been hidden in her clothing. She didn't point it at him but the easy way she held it told him all he needed to know about how long it would take her to raise it and fire on him. He took a step back but his face was still defiant.

"Diya," she said in that maddeningly calm tone, "you know we can't let you go." She looked him straight in the eye and he could feel Alain pushing at his thoughts. There was more than hope there now. There was elation and mocking anger. Stop it! he wanted to scream at both of them but Cassie was still talking. "You have a choice. You can tell me what you know and voluntarily leave your host and I promise it will be quick." She raised the dracon beam and he swallowed. He had never heard anyone actually make a sound when the swallowed but his throat made a hollow, wet sound now. "Or you will starve and our host will tell us what he knows anyway. It may not be as much as you know but it'll be more by the end of three days. The barriers between you two will slip as you starve."

The offhand manner in which he spoke about the nightmare death that every yeerk dreaded was more cruel than any harsh words or painful blows. He felt a rising panic in his chest and his eyes automatically began to dart around, once again looking for an exit. Cassie watched him for a moment and then she turned and began to walk away. He had the urge to lung toward her open back but the dracon beam in her hand stopped him and he just watched as she opened the door and left.

[Alain]

"Hey! Hey!" He'd been pounding on the door to his cage for the past ten hours...or at least it felt that way. There weren't any windows or clocks inside the room and he couldn't tell how long he'd been in here. He'd spent a long time trying to figure out how to convince them to set him free though and he thought he finally had a solution.

<<They won't go for it,>> Alain said with a gloating anger coloring his thoughts.

<<Shut the fuck up!>> Diya screamed inside of their shared mind. He had really gotten sick of Alain's gloating. He didn't care what any low level Host Assigner said, when he got out of here he was going to kill the smart ass son of a bitch.

<<Watch your language,>> Alain responded, watching Diya's thoughts run through his own brain. The familiar warning caused Alain wondered what his father would think of him now and cringed away from the answer. He felt Diya's joy and suddenly he was seeing his father looking at him. Diya had never forced him to relive a memory before so Alain wasn't expecting it, nor how much it hurt as he remembered his father smiling at him with pride as he finished the model airplane. It'd been back before the invasion during one of their good moments. He and his father had not been very close back then and it had been one of the few times they had spent an afternoon together.

The memory came to an abrupt end as the door opened and Diya stopped concentrating on him. Diya backed away from the door as a stone eyed young woman came through the door. She watched him as she stepped into the room and continued to watch him when Cassie walked in behind her.

"Thank you Helena," Cassie said as she stepped around her. "I'll be fine." Helena didn't actually say anything. For that matter, as far as Diya could see, she didn't even twitch. And yet he got the distinct impression that she disagreed with Cassie's order to leave her alone with a controller, maybe it was the way she kept eyeing him, but whatever her personal feelings on the matter she turned around and walked out of the room. Diya was certain that if he some how managed to get through the door she'd be waiting on the other side of it though.

He turned to look at Cassie and he felt Alain looking with him. <<She'll kill you,>> Alain said quietly. <<She'll see reason,>> Diya shot back.

"You wanted to see me?" Cassie asked calmly.

"Yes, I did," Diya said as he stood up a bit straighter. At his host's full height he dwarfed the woman in front of him but it didn't make him feel that much more confident. "I have a proposition for you." Cassie raised her eyebrows and motioned a hand for him to go on. "I will not tell you what I'm working on." Cassie frowned but before she could react any further he rushed to go on, "But I'll help get you to someone who knows more about the project than I do if you release me."

Cassie uncrossed the arms that she'd been holding in front of her chest. "I'm sorry Diya." He looked at her, his own mind refusing to believe that she was about to deny him though Alain's just crowed in triumph. "We never leave a human in captivity if we have a chance to free them. My former offer still stands."

She turned to walk away and Diya shied away from the dark tide of fear and depression that came along with knowledge of his impending death. "Wait! Wait! He's a traitor! He's voluntary, he's not a captive. Please, wait, he won't tell you anything I wouldn't tell you. I'm better than him." He felt Alain's anger but that was nothing new. Underneath it Diya could sense his fear and he cheered to feel it. Alain was afraid Cassie would believe Diya, <<as well you should be. It's true,>> Diya shot at him.

Cassie had paused and turned back to him when he'd begun screaming. She looked at him now and he saw a muscle working in her jaw. How did it feel to her? She'd fought years to push the yeerks back and there were humans that had willingly laid down like dogs. Diya wasn't sure if it was his thought or Alain's. Maybe, for once, it was one they shared.

[Alain]

Cassie knocked on the door and Helena opened it immediately. "Can I get some chairs in here and...send for Morgan." Helena glanced at him before turning to get the requested chairs. Cassie turned back to look at him and Diya felt the need to ask her what was going on but he resisted. Something about the way she was looking at him warned him away from saying anything that may tip her decision one way or the other.

A few minutes passed by in precarious silence, at least in the room. Inside of Diya's head there was a fierce, wordless battle going on. Neither he nor Alain had to use words to express themselves and just threw bad feelings at each other. There was a knock on the door and when Cassie opened it Helena walked in with two fold up chairs, one under each arm. Another woman followed her in with her own chair under her arm. Cassie took a chair and began to set it up. Diya was caught watching them when Helena held out his own chair to him. He took it, wordlessly, and opened it so that he could sit down.

He didn't sit right away and waited for Cassie to tell him to do so. She motioned for him to sit down and Diya dropped into the chair. At her elbow the woman Morgan sat, her eyes on him.

"Diya has informed me that his host is voluntary," Cassie began, her eyes never leaving his even though she was obviously talking to Morgan. "Do we have anything in our records that can confirm or deny that?"

Diya tore his eyes away from Cassie and looked over at Morgan. In his mind Alain made one of his first real fights for control but Diya was able to crush it easily enough. Morgan's eyes were tilted towards the ceiling as she thought through it. He didn't know who she was but obviously Cassie trusted her to answer the question.

"Not to my knowledge Cassie but it's possible. Diya 387 did not register on anyone's radar, yeerk or human, until a few months ago. Even then, he did not gain his current position until after the destruction of Dallas. We were still compiling information on him when this operation began.

Cassie nodded when Morgan gave her the answer. Her eyes had never left Diya but he didn't feel like she was looking at him, or at least, not only at him. He felt like she was looking through him to all the possibilities of any decision she made.

"If you don't mind Morgan, I'd like you to stay for the rest of this interview." Cassie said quietly.

"Yes ma'am," Morgan said, leaning back in her chair and focusing her eyes on Diya once again.

"Diya, now is the time you tell me everything you know." Diya opened his mouth to protest but he couldn't find the courage to go against her orders. He just managed to find enough courage to close his mouth and stay silent. "Diya, if your host is truly voluntary then that's a serious charge with us. You have a chance to clear a few things up. I would suggest you take it."

Diya looked at her, his heart racing and his mind divided against itself as Alain continued to fight for control. He could no longer see a way out. She said he had a chance but he felt like he had less of a chance than he had before.

"Please," he heard himself say, "I have a mate. That is what you humans call them right? Her name is Lora. Please, I just want to go home."

Something deep in Cassie's eyes softened for a moment and her expression followed suit. She suddenly resembled the kind woman who he'd first seen and Diya could understand why people were loyal to her. "Diya, if you help me I can help you."

[Alain]

Diya looked at Cassie and then at the woman sitting quietly beside her. There was a curious look in her eyes and Diya hated her for the calm way she was ready to watch his death. "What chance do I really have?" Diya asked, turning back to Cassie.

"Better than you might think," Cassie responded quickly. "We do have a few yeerk allies." Diya snorted. She meant the YPM. How effective were they really? He didn't know of any YPM that was in any high level position. They weren't even effective as spies. Did Cassie really expect him to join their ranks? It would mean the end of his career if anyone ever found out. Not to mention his death. Besides, the whole deal with the YPM were that their hosts were voluntary. Alain wasn't voluntary, not anymore, and the YPM would figure that out the minute he let Alain speak.

"Is that all?" Diya asked, dejected and fighting off panic with apathy. "Please, this isn't right. I haven't done anything wrong."

Cassie's expression grew stern. "You're infesting what used to be a free thinking creature. You're a slave master."

"Your own country has the worst history with slavery out of all the nations of Earth that ever existed!" Diya retorted. "At least we don't use whips and chains and dogs."

Cassie just looked at him. She didn't deny his accusations but it was clear it did nothing to change the way she viewed this situation. She couldn't undo the evils of the past, she could only undo the evils right in front of her. "Will you talk?"

"Will you let me live?" Diya asked. Cassie was silent for a moment and then she looked over at Morgan. Morgan's eyes narrowed but she didn't communicate in any way that Diya could make out. She looked over at Diya and then glanced back at Cassie. Cassie nodded a moment.

"It's possible. I'll only know if you speak to me Diya. But if you really want to live you have to join our cause. We can't let you stay neutral. You've already seen and heard too much." Diya eyes glanced at the surrounding room. He didn't know what they thought he'd seen beside these grungy walls. Their faces maybe? The yeerks already knew what Cassie looked like, at least he assumed they did. She was their most persistent enemy and had been fighting them for years. Surely they had her face somewhere in their database.

Diya looked back. He wasn't a traitor. He wouldn't betray his own people to help these murderers but he didn't want to die either. If he claimed to switch would they really know he was lying? He didn't think so. They weren't yeerks and he wasn't human, there was no way for them to gain access to his thoughts.

<<Which is why they are lying to you,>> Alain said. Diya hadn't realized he'd let his walls down and that Alain had been watching his thoughts. <<They can't let you go and they can't trust you. You're done Diya.>>

"Let me speak to your host," Cassie said quietly, drawing Diya out of his own mind. He wondered if she'd been able to see some evidence of his conversation with Diya on his face or if she just had uncanny timing. "If he vouches for you then you'll live."

"He's a traitor. I already told you this. Why would he vouch for me. He lies. He lied to everyone around him, he lied to his family, he sold them out." He felt Alain rise up in his mind against the injustice of Diya's accusations but, while neither Alain nor Diya had much experience with fighting the internal battle that most other yeerk-human pairs waged, Diya was able to put his rebellion down without revealing that he was fighting his host at all. "He won't speak for me. He'd speak against me just for the fun of it, and, once I was dead, he wouldn't tell you anything."

"Let me decide that. Let him speak. Leave him for a moment. What's your name?" Cassie asked and Diya realized she was no longer speaking to him.

[Alain]

Diya didn't know what to do but he also didn't feel like he had much of a choice. If he didn't follow Cassie's orders then they'd assume he was hostile to their cause and they would just leave him to starve. But if he let Alain speak Alain was sure to denounce him and they'd kill him anyway. He thought back to what Cassie had said hours ago. He could die slowly or he could die quickly. Seems like she had been right.

He felt Alain's anger and impatience but even Alain couldn't push him into making this choice. He felt paralyzed and the wave of desperation and fear that he'd just barely been able to keep at bay rose up in his mind now. He was going to die. And that knowledge was already destroying him. He felt tears in his eyes and his breathing got faster and faster. His eyes searched the room looking for some escape even though his mind knew there was none. He was going to die. He'd never see Lora again. He'd never do anything again.

<<Get out!>> Alain screamed inside of his head and if Diya could have hit him he would have. But not out of anger, it would have just been an animal reaction to being put in a cage. He surged up out of his chair, knocking it over as he did so. Both Cassie and Morgan were on their feet before his chair had even stopped moving and, in Cassie's case, her eyes were yellow and her teeth were already melting into fangs.

But Diya wasn't after them. He backed up until his back was pressed against the wall, his eyes still focused on all the images of the things he may never see again. <<Get out,>> Alain said again, sternly. <<Just get out. It's over.>> Diya didn't even respond but he gripped his temples, his fingers pressing so tightly against his head that they hurt. If he had moved his hands away he probably would have pulled his own hair out but he wasn't even aware of the pain.

"I don't want to die," he muttered to himself and to Alain. He looked up at Cassie, pleading in his eyes. "Please, I don't want to die. Please."

"Just let him go," Cassie said calmly. Her eyes were no longer yellow and they looked into his. Even in his state she had a calming effect. "I promise you Diya, we won't hurt you. Just let him go." She was moving closer to him, step by step.

"You can't know that!" he screamed because even as Cassie had promised his safety Alain's mind had produced an image of himself ripping the yeerk out of his head when it first started coming out of his ear before Cassie or anyone else could do anything about it.

"We won't hurt you," Cassie said again. She was almost within arm's length of him now and he felt more cornered than he had before. He lunged at her. He didn't know why. It wasn't a thinking action. He didn't know what he hoped to gain but all he got was his face shoved into the floor. He hadn't even really seen her move but his feet were kicked out from under him as he went past her and his cheek was shoved into the gritty concrete floor and her hand was holding his head in place. The other hand had one of his arms behind his back, twisting his shoulder painfully while her knee pressed into the small of his back and ensured that he wasn't going anywhere.

"Diya, I promise you, we won't hurt you. Just come out." Slowly, Diya 387 began to disengage.