Post by Admin on Jul 22, 2010 19:55:41 GMT -5
Hey all. A few notes.
1) This is a plot, or should I say this a scene, I was planning on doing with Fin before I even left AA. It's been adjusted slightly based on recent events but it essentially unchanged. Since I had free time I wrote it up and, yeah, here it is for what it's worth.
2) This is a complete piece. It's not meant to serve as an explanation for where he's been or meant to be a prelude to reviving the character. It just is what it is.
3) If anyone wants to use the plot set up here (including the character) feel free. I kept all the details vague so they can be filled in as needed. Or not and just leave it. I'm just putting the piece out there and don't claim ownership of the story after that. If you do want to use it you don't have to contact me about it.
4) Since I left the details vague I didn't know where to post it. Came back to Vegas for old times sake but feel free to move it where ever it's convenient.
~Gage
Fin carefully tuned the guitar on his knee and the plucked at the strings. The sound that came out was sweet and clear and he smiled to hear it.
"Is it done?" Fin looked up at the girl waiting anxiously a few steps away. Fin held out the finished instrument to her and she immediately forgot his presence as she reached for it and held it to her chest. Her small fingers brushed almost reverently over the strings before she tried a few stumbling fingerings of her own. Each note came out true and he saw a matching smile on her face as she looked up at him. "It's beautiful, Sir. Thank you." She dug a hand into her pocket and pulled out a compass. She held it out to him, a little fearful.
They had agreed on the price before he'd begun making the guitar but it was not unknown for craftsman to hike their price up once a customer had the finished product in their hands. It was a good business strategy but it was predatory and Fin was tired of predators. He accepted the compass and she turned and left the shop with her new instrument.
He began cleaning up his materials. He'd finished Laura's guitar yesterday and had sent her a message so she could pick it up, but hers wasn't the only instrument he'd been working on and she'd caught him in the middle of his latest project. It was a drum, by far one of the easiest instruments to make. But he wanted to put his own spin on it, give it its own sound. Something his world hadn't heard before so he'd been messing around with the design. Paper wasn't easy to come by but it was easier to get than the materials were and he had a dozen sketches he'd thrown away before he'd begun construction. Now he was half-way done.
He picked up the drum-in-progress and put it on a shelf. His shoulders tightened with fear and anxiety as he heard footsteps at his door behind him but he tried not to show it. He forced his pounding heart to slow down, his muscles to relax. He hated how he still reacted this way after so long, but then again, at least he wasn't dead.
He waited until the visitor announced himself with a small, polite knock before turning around with a smile on his face. "How may I-" the age old western salesperson greeting wilted on his tongue as he saw who was standing at his door.
Zane smiled at him. "Hello Fin." Fin realized that the sick half smile, half bared teeth grimace that had replaced his pleasant smile was still on his face. He forced his mouth back into something of a straight line but the fear was still in his eyes and the tension was back in his shoulders. This time there would be no convincing it to leave.
"Hello Zane," Fin said quietly as he turned away, a feeling of helplessness settling in his chest. Of course Zane was here, he'd always known he would be, someone would be. Fin had long ago resigned himself to his fate, he just hadn't expected it to come this soon. Paranoia helped with some things and hiding was one of them.
"May I come in?" Zane asked as if he were no more than a potential customer and a well meaning stranger. Fin shrugged, his back still to the animorph, his shrug seeming to say as if I could stop you. Zane stepped inside the small shack that Fin had set up his shop in and looked at the displays of Fin's labor. Most of the instruments available didn't look like much compared to their old world equivalents. They were rough, all the stain and finish missing from their wooden bodies. But as Zane picked one up he could almost feel how right it felt, something about the balance and the way it fit in his hand, and when he plucked at a string the note sounded good to him. He was no musician though but it seemed to confirm what he knew about the man in front of him.
When he looked up Fin was watching him as one might watch a shark that was circling his prey. For a moment Zane regretted that but he wiped the regret away. Fin had every reason to watch him that way and Zane had given up his illusions of being a hero a long time ago. People would fear him, he could only hope it was the right people. Fin Larson may be the right people, he didn't know yet.
"Well, you know who I am." It was a statement but there was a slight question in his tone. Fin just nodded and continued to watch him. "Then you know this isn't a social visit."
"Which is it Zane?" Fin finally asked. "Are you hear to kill me now or suck me back into a war that will kill me later?" Zane grunted at Fin's framing of the situation and then walked over to a small table where Fin liked to do his work. There was a stool next to the table and Zane pulled up a box that was tall enough for him but before he sat down he looked at Fin for permission. Fin nodded and walked over to take the stool as Zane got comfortable on the box.
"Neither," Zane said after some thought. "I'm not sure the war effort can survive another tour of duty by you, Fin," Zane answered honestly. He was a bit surprised at the hurt in Fin's eyes but Fin didn't deny it.
"Then why are you here?" Fin asked, his voice flat and emotionless, exhaustion pulling at the edges of it. His fingers played with a small carving tool and he didn't bother to try to get them to stop. His nerves had been shredded to bits and left raw and exposed. He'd started to put it all back together, put himself back together but it would be a long time before he could display the calm confidence that surrounded Zane. Maybe he'd never get to that point and perhaps he'd never been capable of it. Zane was right, he wasn't a soldier.
"We do need your help," Zane said, trying to catch Fin's eyes so he could look directly into them. Fin didn't give him that and he continued to stare at some point that was a little to the right of Zane's head.
"Not interested," Fin responded quickly. He knew that any "help" he gave the resistance would put him right back in the line of fire. There simply were no distinctions between front lines and back lines in a guerrilla war. There were only side lines and you hoped as hell they didn't get shot up too. Most of the time you hoped in vain.
"So you're going to," Zane ran an almost disdainful finger over the nearest finished guitar, "make instruments and hide for the rest of your life?" Fin was surprised at how hurt he felt at Zane's tone, but even more, he was surprised at the anger. It flared up, hot and insistent, urging him to do something about it. Zane looked up and found himself looking right into Fin's eyes for the first time since he'd stepped into the shop. He also saw the anger behind them and pulled his hand away from the guitar, though he did it deliberately, not because of Fin's anger but because he'd accomplished what he'd wanted, which was to get Fin's attention. At least Fin didn't give off the impression that he was pressed against a wall now.
"Perhaps," Fin answered, a bit of his anger bleeding into his voice.
"You can't hide forever," Zane said quietly, keeping Fin's eyes locked on his own. He was a bit surprised at the superiority that flared in them for a moment. The anger died and Fin looked away but he no longer seemed quite as afraid as he had been. Zane wasn't sure if he liked the change.
"No," Fin acknowledged, looking around at the shop as if he were looking straight past its walls at the war that raged over the face of his world. "But there are other worlds than these." He didn't know where he'd heard it before, no doubt a phrase he'd downloaded and stored in his brain from one of thousands of things he'd read or heard.
Zane's nostrils flared in surprise. It was the only indication he gave that Fin's words had hit disturbingly close to the heart of his mission here. "Yes," he said slowly, "there are. That's why I'm here." Fin looked back down at Zane, curiosity warring with his dislike of the other animorph, more for what he represented than who he was. "We know that Luce left," Zane continued and Fin just nodded and took note of how he'd excluded Sedra's name. He supposed they didn't like to think that one of their own had escaped with the enemy. Or maybe they just didn't like that one of them had escaped at all. Sometimes Fin thought Cassie depended on the fact that no one could really escape the war to brow beat people into her armies. Certainly Matthias had used that little fact to his advantage when he'd forced Fin into his faction.
"Well, I guess it opened a door," Zane finally said, a thoughtful expression on his face. He looked around at the shop and then back at Fin. "We think-I think," Zane couldn't seem to decide if he was speaking with his leader's authority or his own, not that either much mattered to Fin. "that they are winning," Zane finally said, ignoring the distinction. He didn't have to explain who "they" were. Only a cockroach would not know who "they" were and Fin knew a few who did. "In a way at least. We're giving up, all over the world, people are getting used to living like this, living like slaves and fugitives."
He had a point. Fin's little refuge community was only one of many. Some may think that was a good thing, a sign of hope. Humanity was still living free in greater and greater numbers, or at least in more consolidated numbers. Apparently Cassie was not the optimist he'd always assumed she was Fin thought with edged humor.
Zane waited for Fin to say something but Fin just stared back at him, waiting for Zane to make his point. "We don't want humanity to live this way but," a pained expression crossed his face as if what he was about to say, to admit, threatened everything he stood for, "maybe for humanity to live free they have to do it somewhere else." It was as close as he could come but Fin heard his message loud and clear and his mouth actually hung open a bit as his eyes widened in shock. Zane, and the leader he represented, were talking about retreating, abandoning their planet to its fate. Fin had to hear confirmation for himself.
"You want to leave Earth?" He asked. Zane just nodded instead of speaking. He didn't like it, Fin could tell that, but he nodded anyway. After a moment he cleared his throat and went on.
"Not if we don't have to. But...Cassie feels its time to start thinking about back up plans. If we do have to leave Earth we can't do it now and building the capability to do so will take time." He looked up at Fin and Fin realized he'd reached his point at last. "And people." Fin just sat there thinking about what leaving Earth might mean and what they wanted from him. He couldn't deny that the idea had been stuck in his head from the moment he'd watched Luce sail away from this war and this mess. He guessed he wasn't the only one.
"So what do I have to do with it?" Fin finally asked. If Cassie wanted to plan a retreat he was willing to congratulate her on her good sense but that was about it. He couldn't deny he'd want a spot on one of those ships, but he didn't think he'd earned it or deserved it. If he was going to get off Earth he'd do it his own way. He didn't want anyone else to put their lives in danger because of him.
"You're a genius," Zane responded and the phrase did not have the normal flippant unbelievability to it that it normally did. Fin just scratched at his knee under the table and wondered how Cassie had figured out that little bit of history. She was right of course, he was a genius. Not that it mattered much, it hadn't even mattered to him when humanity still used its geniuses for something. He'd figured out pretty early on that IQ levels had limited utility. And his past only proved that your IQ level didn't determine what you did, just how effectively you did it. It hadn't made him a good soldier or a good person, it had just let him run away efficiently. And apparently not even that well as evidenced by the man sitting in his shop.
"True," Fin said after a moment, "but I'm not a magician. I can't summon ships from air, I can't magically learn science humanity wasn't even close to understanding before we got our asses handed to us, and I certainly can't make those yeerk ships in the orbit go poof even if we had ships to leave on."
"No one's asking you to do it overnight." Fin felt the absurd urge to laugh when he realized Zane actually expected him to be able to do it at all. "And you won't be doing it alone." Fin stood up and walked away from the table. There wasn't much room inside the shack so there wasn't really a place to go but the gesture had been more of a symbol than an actual attempt to escape Zane's crazy idea.
Fin held up his hands and a strangled laugh did escape his throat before he stopped it. "What you're asking is not only impossible, but it'll get me killed and anyone else you try to stick on this project. Even if you had a facility capable of building space ships stashed in your pocket and it was stuffed full of every book ever written on the subject we'd still never be able to do it. It takes time to understand all that science, let alone use it. And we're still in the middle of a war," he said the last word with the exact same disdainful tone Zane had used when speaking about his guitars. If Zane was going to insult his life's work he'd damn well do the same and he saw Zane's shoulders stiffen and anger flare up in his frame. "Forget it. Tell your leader she's insane. She'd be better off stealing the ships she wants."
"What makes you think we don't plan on doing exactly that," Zane asked, his voice carefully neutral as he tried to keep it under control.
"Then you don't need me to do it," Fin responded. He turned his back on Zane and continued cleaning up his shop as if Zane weren't there.
Zane sighed in exasperation. He'd met a few of Fin's old superiors and he was starting to understand why none of them had exactly liked him. Fin wasn't wrong but he seemed like the type ready to poke holes in someone else's plans without suggesting solutions to replace them.
"Stolen ships are a start, Fin. But no ship we can get our hands on is big enough to fit even a city's worth of people on it. We can't steal enough for everyone. But we can give the ships to you, and to others like you, to take apart and to understand. Maybe you can build something better, or at least bigger."
Fin kept his back to the man but his fear of him was gone. Zane could still kill him but Fin found he wasn't that afraid of it anymore. About a dozen things could kill him and Zane's hands would hurt a lot less than Cassie's war. "Build them out of what? Where?"
Zane finally lost his temper. "We don't know yet!" Fin turned back to face him, a pitying expression on his face. This man had signed on to fight a war he still believed in. Fin envied the belief but not the task. It was impossible, what Zane was asking was impossible, he just hadn't accepted it yet.
Zane ignored Fin's expression with difficulty and got his voice back under control. "We were hoping you'd help with that. But we'd like to get started on the project at least. Have you look at the ships we've captured. Have you start learning the science. As you've said, it takes a while so we won't have to worry about construction right now."
"And if I refuse?" Fin asked carefully. Zane gave him a measured look before he responded. He didn't really think appealing to Fin's sense of duty would work but he decided to try it anyway. Maybe there was a shred of loyalty left in him.
"Cassie needs you Fin, your world needs you." Before he was even finished he could see that Fin didn't care and the small laugh he let out after Zane had finished proved it.
"I think I've let Cassie down enough. She should be used to it by now." There was a slight shame there but obviously it wasn't enough to turn him. Zane felt disgust as he looked at the man in front of him and fought to hide it. He could see he failed though when Fin smirked at him. It wasn't the first time someone had looked at Fin that way and his smirk almost dared Zane to do worse. He knew there was worse, he could take Zane's disgust.
"You didn't let Suji down," Zane said and the smirk vanished from Fin's face to be replaced by anger and Zane was felt satisfaction when he realized it was directly aimed at him. Fin felt the back of his neck and his cheeks grow hot as the blush of anger flared across his skin, an unfortunate biological reaction he'd never quite gotten rid of. When he was able to speak past the lump in his throat his words were measured and clipped.
"Suji," he said and paused as if making sure Zane heard her name, "is my leader." Zane was a bit surprised at the use of present tense but he didn't show it, just let Fin continued. "And the only person who has ever," he paused again to make sure Zane payed attention, "proved she deserved to be so." The anger faltered a bit as his thoughts switched focus to himself. "Not that I'm much of a soldier to lead." He was no longer looking directly into Zane's eyes, challenging him. His eyes had that far away look again and that vein of shame Zane had heard earlier was clearly exposed in his voice now. When he looked back at Zane the anger returned. "Cassie is not Suji." He turned away as if that settled the matter but his shoulders were still tense with anger.
Zane watched him, more than a bit surprised. It seemed Fin still had plenty of loyalty left over. Too bad it was so narrowly focused. For some reason Fin did not transfer his loyalty to Suji to a loyalty to her cause. And Zane couldn't think of how to play on it personally. If Fin could some how pull off the project he was claiming was impossible Suji wouldn't be the first one on the ships anyway and they both knew it. Zane, and the others like him, would stay on Earth, defending it until they were either dead or the last free human had escaped. And then they'd probably come back and try to free the ones who had been left behind.
"You weren't completely wrong," Zane said as he stood up and moved to the center of the room. "We can't let an animorph wander around out here alone." Zane said it calmly but the threat was obvious. Fin chuckled and sighed as he turned around.
"So it's come to that?" Zane just looked at him, his answer obvious in his eyes. If he didn't help them, they'd kill him. It was just that simple. But he'd found death often was a lot simpler than people wanted. "Alright Zane, I'll help." Fin turned away, not really caring how Zane took the news. He didn't care what Zane or anyone else who served Cassie thought of him. Their task really was impossible but it would give him something to do. As he looked at the drum on the shelf he felt a spike of anger and sadness. He'd been doing something worthwhile here. Just because Cassie didn't care about it didn't mean the men and women who'd regained music in their lives didn't.
As he packed his few belongings (the instruments were too large to go) he didn't have to wonder why he'd said yes, it was the same reason he'd left in the first place. If he'd said no Zane would have killed him and no matter how much Fin had resigned himself to that fate some stupid, stubborn animal inside him would have fought. And the thought of that fight nearly exhausted him. He simply didn't have much more to give and so he'd chosen the path of least resistance.
He turned back to Zane when he had his bag. "Where to?"
1) This is a plot, or should I say this a scene, I was planning on doing with Fin before I even left AA. It's been adjusted slightly based on recent events but it essentially unchanged. Since I had free time I wrote it up and, yeah, here it is for what it's worth.
2) This is a complete piece. It's not meant to serve as an explanation for where he's been or meant to be a prelude to reviving the character. It just is what it is.
3) If anyone wants to use the plot set up here (including the character) feel free. I kept all the details vague so they can be filled in as needed. Or not and just leave it. I'm just putting the piece out there and don't claim ownership of the story after that. If you do want to use it you don't have to contact me about it.
4) Since I left the details vague I didn't know where to post it. Came back to Vegas for old times sake but feel free to move it where ever it's convenient.
~Gage
Least of the Resistance
Fin carefully tuned the guitar on his knee and the plucked at the strings. The sound that came out was sweet and clear and he smiled to hear it.
"Is it done?" Fin looked up at the girl waiting anxiously a few steps away. Fin held out the finished instrument to her and she immediately forgot his presence as she reached for it and held it to her chest. Her small fingers brushed almost reverently over the strings before she tried a few stumbling fingerings of her own. Each note came out true and he saw a matching smile on her face as she looked up at him. "It's beautiful, Sir. Thank you." She dug a hand into her pocket and pulled out a compass. She held it out to him, a little fearful.
They had agreed on the price before he'd begun making the guitar but it was not unknown for craftsman to hike their price up once a customer had the finished product in their hands. It was a good business strategy but it was predatory and Fin was tired of predators. He accepted the compass and she turned and left the shop with her new instrument.
He began cleaning up his materials. He'd finished Laura's guitar yesterday and had sent her a message so she could pick it up, but hers wasn't the only instrument he'd been working on and she'd caught him in the middle of his latest project. It was a drum, by far one of the easiest instruments to make. But he wanted to put his own spin on it, give it its own sound. Something his world hadn't heard before so he'd been messing around with the design. Paper wasn't easy to come by but it was easier to get than the materials were and he had a dozen sketches he'd thrown away before he'd begun construction. Now he was half-way done.
He picked up the drum-in-progress and put it on a shelf. His shoulders tightened with fear and anxiety as he heard footsteps at his door behind him but he tried not to show it. He forced his pounding heart to slow down, his muscles to relax. He hated how he still reacted this way after so long, but then again, at least he wasn't dead.
He waited until the visitor announced himself with a small, polite knock before turning around with a smile on his face. "How may I-" the age old western salesperson greeting wilted on his tongue as he saw who was standing at his door.
Zane smiled at him. "Hello Fin." Fin realized that the sick half smile, half bared teeth grimace that had replaced his pleasant smile was still on his face. He forced his mouth back into something of a straight line but the fear was still in his eyes and the tension was back in his shoulders. This time there would be no convincing it to leave.
"Hello Zane," Fin said quietly as he turned away, a feeling of helplessness settling in his chest. Of course Zane was here, he'd always known he would be, someone would be. Fin had long ago resigned himself to his fate, he just hadn't expected it to come this soon. Paranoia helped with some things and hiding was one of them.
"May I come in?" Zane asked as if he were no more than a potential customer and a well meaning stranger. Fin shrugged, his back still to the animorph, his shrug seeming to say as if I could stop you. Zane stepped inside the small shack that Fin had set up his shop in and looked at the displays of Fin's labor. Most of the instruments available didn't look like much compared to their old world equivalents. They were rough, all the stain and finish missing from their wooden bodies. But as Zane picked one up he could almost feel how right it felt, something about the balance and the way it fit in his hand, and when he plucked at a string the note sounded good to him. He was no musician though but it seemed to confirm what he knew about the man in front of him.
When he looked up Fin was watching him as one might watch a shark that was circling his prey. For a moment Zane regretted that but he wiped the regret away. Fin had every reason to watch him that way and Zane had given up his illusions of being a hero a long time ago. People would fear him, he could only hope it was the right people. Fin Larson may be the right people, he didn't know yet.
"Well, you know who I am." It was a statement but there was a slight question in his tone. Fin just nodded and continued to watch him. "Then you know this isn't a social visit."
"Which is it Zane?" Fin finally asked. "Are you hear to kill me now or suck me back into a war that will kill me later?" Zane grunted at Fin's framing of the situation and then walked over to a small table where Fin liked to do his work. There was a stool next to the table and Zane pulled up a box that was tall enough for him but before he sat down he looked at Fin for permission. Fin nodded and walked over to take the stool as Zane got comfortable on the box.
"Neither," Zane said after some thought. "I'm not sure the war effort can survive another tour of duty by you, Fin," Zane answered honestly. He was a bit surprised at the hurt in Fin's eyes but Fin didn't deny it.
"Then why are you here?" Fin asked, his voice flat and emotionless, exhaustion pulling at the edges of it. His fingers played with a small carving tool and he didn't bother to try to get them to stop. His nerves had been shredded to bits and left raw and exposed. He'd started to put it all back together, put himself back together but it would be a long time before he could display the calm confidence that surrounded Zane. Maybe he'd never get to that point and perhaps he'd never been capable of it. Zane was right, he wasn't a soldier.
"We do need your help," Zane said, trying to catch Fin's eyes so he could look directly into them. Fin didn't give him that and he continued to stare at some point that was a little to the right of Zane's head.
"Not interested," Fin responded quickly. He knew that any "help" he gave the resistance would put him right back in the line of fire. There simply were no distinctions between front lines and back lines in a guerrilla war. There were only side lines and you hoped as hell they didn't get shot up too. Most of the time you hoped in vain.
"So you're going to," Zane ran an almost disdainful finger over the nearest finished guitar, "make instruments and hide for the rest of your life?" Fin was surprised at how hurt he felt at Zane's tone, but even more, he was surprised at the anger. It flared up, hot and insistent, urging him to do something about it. Zane looked up and found himself looking right into Fin's eyes for the first time since he'd stepped into the shop. He also saw the anger behind them and pulled his hand away from the guitar, though he did it deliberately, not because of Fin's anger but because he'd accomplished what he'd wanted, which was to get Fin's attention. At least Fin didn't give off the impression that he was pressed against a wall now.
"Perhaps," Fin answered, a bit of his anger bleeding into his voice.
"You can't hide forever," Zane said quietly, keeping Fin's eyes locked on his own. He was a bit surprised at the superiority that flared in them for a moment. The anger died and Fin looked away but he no longer seemed quite as afraid as he had been. Zane wasn't sure if he liked the change.
"No," Fin acknowledged, looking around at the shop as if he were looking straight past its walls at the war that raged over the face of his world. "But there are other worlds than these." He didn't know where he'd heard it before, no doubt a phrase he'd downloaded and stored in his brain from one of thousands of things he'd read or heard.
Zane's nostrils flared in surprise. It was the only indication he gave that Fin's words had hit disturbingly close to the heart of his mission here. "Yes," he said slowly, "there are. That's why I'm here." Fin looked back down at Zane, curiosity warring with his dislike of the other animorph, more for what he represented than who he was. "We know that Luce left," Zane continued and Fin just nodded and took note of how he'd excluded Sedra's name. He supposed they didn't like to think that one of their own had escaped with the enemy. Or maybe they just didn't like that one of them had escaped at all. Sometimes Fin thought Cassie depended on the fact that no one could really escape the war to brow beat people into her armies. Certainly Matthias had used that little fact to his advantage when he'd forced Fin into his faction.
"Well, I guess it opened a door," Zane finally said, a thoughtful expression on his face. He looked around at the shop and then back at Fin. "We think-I think," Zane couldn't seem to decide if he was speaking with his leader's authority or his own, not that either much mattered to Fin. "that they are winning," Zane finally said, ignoring the distinction. He didn't have to explain who "they" were. Only a cockroach would not know who "they" were and Fin knew a few who did. "In a way at least. We're giving up, all over the world, people are getting used to living like this, living like slaves and fugitives."
He had a point. Fin's little refuge community was only one of many. Some may think that was a good thing, a sign of hope. Humanity was still living free in greater and greater numbers, or at least in more consolidated numbers. Apparently Cassie was not the optimist he'd always assumed she was Fin thought with edged humor.
Zane waited for Fin to say something but Fin just stared back at him, waiting for Zane to make his point. "We don't want humanity to live this way but," a pained expression crossed his face as if what he was about to say, to admit, threatened everything he stood for, "maybe for humanity to live free they have to do it somewhere else." It was as close as he could come but Fin heard his message loud and clear and his mouth actually hung open a bit as his eyes widened in shock. Zane, and the leader he represented, were talking about retreating, abandoning their planet to its fate. Fin had to hear confirmation for himself.
"You want to leave Earth?" He asked. Zane just nodded instead of speaking. He didn't like it, Fin could tell that, but he nodded anyway. After a moment he cleared his throat and went on.
"Not if we don't have to. But...Cassie feels its time to start thinking about back up plans. If we do have to leave Earth we can't do it now and building the capability to do so will take time." He looked up at Fin and Fin realized he'd reached his point at last. "And people." Fin just sat there thinking about what leaving Earth might mean and what they wanted from him. He couldn't deny that the idea had been stuck in his head from the moment he'd watched Luce sail away from this war and this mess. He guessed he wasn't the only one.
"So what do I have to do with it?" Fin finally asked. If Cassie wanted to plan a retreat he was willing to congratulate her on her good sense but that was about it. He couldn't deny he'd want a spot on one of those ships, but he didn't think he'd earned it or deserved it. If he was going to get off Earth he'd do it his own way. He didn't want anyone else to put their lives in danger because of him.
"You're a genius," Zane responded and the phrase did not have the normal flippant unbelievability to it that it normally did. Fin just scratched at his knee under the table and wondered how Cassie had figured out that little bit of history. She was right of course, he was a genius. Not that it mattered much, it hadn't even mattered to him when humanity still used its geniuses for something. He'd figured out pretty early on that IQ levels had limited utility. And his past only proved that your IQ level didn't determine what you did, just how effectively you did it. It hadn't made him a good soldier or a good person, it had just let him run away efficiently. And apparently not even that well as evidenced by the man sitting in his shop.
"True," Fin said after a moment, "but I'm not a magician. I can't summon ships from air, I can't magically learn science humanity wasn't even close to understanding before we got our asses handed to us, and I certainly can't make those yeerk ships in the orbit go poof even if we had ships to leave on."
"No one's asking you to do it overnight." Fin felt the absurd urge to laugh when he realized Zane actually expected him to be able to do it at all. "And you won't be doing it alone." Fin stood up and walked away from the table. There wasn't much room inside the shack so there wasn't really a place to go but the gesture had been more of a symbol than an actual attempt to escape Zane's crazy idea.
Fin held up his hands and a strangled laugh did escape his throat before he stopped it. "What you're asking is not only impossible, but it'll get me killed and anyone else you try to stick on this project. Even if you had a facility capable of building space ships stashed in your pocket and it was stuffed full of every book ever written on the subject we'd still never be able to do it. It takes time to understand all that science, let alone use it. And we're still in the middle of a war," he said the last word with the exact same disdainful tone Zane had used when speaking about his guitars. If Zane was going to insult his life's work he'd damn well do the same and he saw Zane's shoulders stiffen and anger flare up in his frame. "Forget it. Tell your leader she's insane. She'd be better off stealing the ships she wants."
"What makes you think we don't plan on doing exactly that," Zane asked, his voice carefully neutral as he tried to keep it under control.
"Then you don't need me to do it," Fin responded. He turned his back on Zane and continued cleaning up his shop as if Zane weren't there.
Zane sighed in exasperation. He'd met a few of Fin's old superiors and he was starting to understand why none of them had exactly liked him. Fin wasn't wrong but he seemed like the type ready to poke holes in someone else's plans without suggesting solutions to replace them.
"Stolen ships are a start, Fin. But no ship we can get our hands on is big enough to fit even a city's worth of people on it. We can't steal enough for everyone. But we can give the ships to you, and to others like you, to take apart and to understand. Maybe you can build something better, or at least bigger."
Fin kept his back to the man but his fear of him was gone. Zane could still kill him but Fin found he wasn't that afraid of it anymore. About a dozen things could kill him and Zane's hands would hurt a lot less than Cassie's war. "Build them out of what? Where?"
Zane finally lost his temper. "We don't know yet!" Fin turned back to face him, a pitying expression on his face. This man had signed on to fight a war he still believed in. Fin envied the belief but not the task. It was impossible, what Zane was asking was impossible, he just hadn't accepted it yet.
Zane ignored Fin's expression with difficulty and got his voice back under control. "We were hoping you'd help with that. But we'd like to get started on the project at least. Have you look at the ships we've captured. Have you start learning the science. As you've said, it takes a while so we won't have to worry about construction right now."
"And if I refuse?" Fin asked carefully. Zane gave him a measured look before he responded. He didn't really think appealing to Fin's sense of duty would work but he decided to try it anyway. Maybe there was a shred of loyalty left in him.
"Cassie needs you Fin, your world needs you." Before he was even finished he could see that Fin didn't care and the small laugh he let out after Zane had finished proved it.
"I think I've let Cassie down enough. She should be used to it by now." There was a slight shame there but obviously it wasn't enough to turn him. Zane felt disgust as he looked at the man in front of him and fought to hide it. He could see he failed though when Fin smirked at him. It wasn't the first time someone had looked at Fin that way and his smirk almost dared Zane to do worse. He knew there was worse, he could take Zane's disgust.
"You didn't let Suji down," Zane said and the smirk vanished from Fin's face to be replaced by anger and Zane was felt satisfaction when he realized it was directly aimed at him. Fin felt the back of his neck and his cheeks grow hot as the blush of anger flared across his skin, an unfortunate biological reaction he'd never quite gotten rid of. When he was able to speak past the lump in his throat his words were measured and clipped.
"Suji," he said and paused as if making sure Zane heard her name, "is my leader." Zane was a bit surprised at the use of present tense but he didn't show it, just let Fin continued. "And the only person who has ever," he paused again to make sure Zane payed attention, "proved she deserved to be so." The anger faltered a bit as his thoughts switched focus to himself. "Not that I'm much of a soldier to lead." He was no longer looking directly into Zane's eyes, challenging him. His eyes had that far away look again and that vein of shame Zane had heard earlier was clearly exposed in his voice now. When he looked back at Zane the anger returned. "Cassie is not Suji." He turned away as if that settled the matter but his shoulders were still tense with anger.
Zane watched him, more than a bit surprised. It seemed Fin still had plenty of loyalty left over. Too bad it was so narrowly focused. For some reason Fin did not transfer his loyalty to Suji to a loyalty to her cause. And Zane couldn't think of how to play on it personally. If Fin could some how pull off the project he was claiming was impossible Suji wouldn't be the first one on the ships anyway and they both knew it. Zane, and the others like him, would stay on Earth, defending it until they were either dead or the last free human had escaped. And then they'd probably come back and try to free the ones who had been left behind.
"You weren't completely wrong," Zane said as he stood up and moved to the center of the room. "We can't let an animorph wander around out here alone." Zane said it calmly but the threat was obvious. Fin chuckled and sighed as he turned around.
"So it's come to that?" Zane just looked at him, his answer obvious in his eyes. If he didn't help them, they'd kill him. It was just that simple. But he'd found death often was a lot simpler than people wanted. "Alright Zane, I'll help." Fin turned away, not really caring how Zane took the news. He didn't care what Zane or anyone else who served Cassie thought of him. Their task really was impossible but it would give him something to do. As he looked at the drum on the shelf he felt a spike of anger and sadness. He'd been doing something worthwhile here. Just because Cassie didn't care about it didn't mean the men and women who'd regained music in their lives didn't.
As he packed his few belongings (the instruments were too large to go) he didn't have to wonder why he'd said yes, it was the same reason he'd left in the first place. If he'd said no Zane would have killed him and no matter how much Fin had resigned himself to that fate some stupid, stubborn animal inside him would have fought. And the thought of that fight nearly exhausted him. He simply didn't have much more to give and so he'd chosen the path of least resistance.
He turned back to Zane when he had his bag. "Where to?"