Homecoming

[Aubrey]

Luce
Luce pulled into the driveway smoothly, the bike purring beneath her. She toed the kickstand into place and turned off the motorcycle. The purr died to a soft hum and then faded into silence. She ran one hand over the seat of the bike, her fingers lightly touching the smooth paint. She loved few things but this bike was one of them.

She stood up and swung a leg over the bike but stood next to it instead of walking away. She wasn't sure she should be here. Well, officially, she was quite sure this was the last place she should be. She'd accepted that she was going to be breaking a lot of rules if she chose to pursue this so that didn't bother her. It was worth the consequences.

But she wasn't sure if she was wanted here. She hadn't left on the best of terms.

She looked over at Sedra's house, one hand on the bike for comfort. She could just get back on the bike and head out to the base. She was due back there sometime tonight or tomorrow morning. Why not make it tonight?

It was weird to actually be more afraid of Sedra's rejection than a leader's anger. How could Sedra do that? Make her feel like she was...well a kid again. She wasn't used to feeling unsure.

She ran a hand through her hair and looked around and spotted a young man a little down the road. He was walking a dog but he was looking at her. Her hand dropped to the dracon beam fastened to her waist and her whole body tensed. A guy walking a dog. It should have been a normal suburban scene but it wasn't, no one lived here but controllers. And this one had to be wondering who and what she was and why she was visiting a Sub-Visser in the middle of the night.

She probably shouldn't have come. She had put herself in danger and now Sedra as well. But she was already here, couldn't undo that. The best she could do now was to try to cover.

She slid the dracon beam out of its holster and turned to look at the young man. She smiled at him and gave him a mock salute with the hand holding the dracon beam. It was something Jals would have done, cocky son of a bitch that the yeerk had been.

The young controller (or old, how could you really tell) nodded and decided he wanted to be somewhere else. But he didn't run. He wasn't afraid, just cautious. Luce would have preferred fear, caution meant he would remember this and he might be in a position to use the knowledge. She didn't know.

She turned back towards Sedra's door, a troubled look on her face, and walked up and knocked. There was one good thing about being in danger, it had momentarily gotten rid of her nervousness.


Sedra
Sedra leaned forward, swiping a hand across the foggy bathroom mirror. The mirror, still clouded with some steam, reflected back her image. Dark blue eyes, tendrils of wet hair spiraling down to her shoulders. Catherine's face. Her own. Lowering her eyes to the counter, Sedra slid open a drawer and pulled out a brush to begin untangling her hair. Her host was quiet, as was usual lately. At first it had frustrated her, and she had tried provoking her host into speaking. After awhile, she figured that it wasn't working.

Now it was late at night and she was washing up after returning from a couple days trip over to Chicago. The plant was just as exciting as she remembered, and she was hoping to start a few things up soon. Happily enough, the Animorph activity in the city was still unremarkable, if non-existent. The birth mothers project was running as smoothly as it had been before, with more women being rounded up around the Chicago area. With that in mind Sedra had appointed one of the controllers there in charge and left back to her duties in Vegas. She didn't want to admit it, but she was anxious to get back.

The house was empty and silent on her return. Complete silence was one thing that had always bothered Sedra. Yeerks in their natural form had no sense of hearing, and after gaining the sight and sound of a host it was hard to relinquish it. So, the hall echoed with the low droning of the holo-projector she had turned on earlier. It was a local channel, usually filled with monotonous reports about rankings and other low-priority projects. It filled the silence, blanketing over the low hum of the motorcycle outside. It was enough that Sedra nearly misheard the knocking on her door.

Tensing, Sedra's eyes shifted to the open door of the bathroom. It was late at night, and there were only a few reasons--never good--for a controller to be knocking on her door. Slipping a soft towel around herself, Sedra made her way down the dark hallway towards the front room. A small table stood next to the front door, where Sedra had tossed her dracon beam once she had arrived. Her hand drifted over it briefly as she leaned forward and peered through the door's peephole. The porch light cast a white glow over the person standing behind the door. Luce.

<<What if someone saw her? This late at night...>> Catherine said quietly.

Sedra flipped the deadlock open, tugging the handle of the wooden door. It opened just enough for her body to fill the opening. Her expression was unreadable as she looked over Luce's shoulder and scanned the street behind her. The front door was shielded partially by the stuccoed side of the house, and partially by an overhanging hedge which bent its spine across the space between house and front yard. There was an edge of worry to her tone as she took a step back, enough so that Luce could get inside. "Luce. Come in."


Luce
Luce scanned the empty, suburban streets as she waited on the doorstep. Luce had not grown up in Vegas, but she'd grown up in a suburb and she'd found they all had the same feel, especially in the middle of the night. There was a sort of peace in neighborhoods like this. A peace that often frustrated the more youthful inhabitants of such places. Many songs had been written by teenagers and young men and women, people who were at the whim of more turbulent emotions, about the boredom and stagnant atmosphere of suburbs. Hearts recycled but never saved, From the cradle to the grave.

But Luce was starting to realize that peace was a rare commodity. Boredom too. One of the most potent curses she could think to wish on someone was, "may your life be interesting." By the time people had reached middle age and had experienced all the trials and tribulations of the young they had learned the value of peace and quiet. It was no wonder they had sought out suburbs. The young who fled to cities did not understand the gifts they were giving up. But every generation had to learn its own lessons.

Luce had always loved wandering the streets around three in the morning when she had been younger. There had been a slight feeling of danger and the forbidden that had excited her. She was in suburban America, she was a young girl, she should not be out on the streets at 3 in the morning. It wasn't proper. Luce had loved the feeling of being rebellious.

And there was just a quiet at that time of night that attracted her like nothing else could. It had made her feel like she was the only one alive or awake in the world. It had made her feel solitary and special.

But she did not have that feeling now. Partially because she had learned the value of peace and safety. If she were caught out here now she would not be scolded by her parents and neighbors. She might be killed or worse. This was real danger and it was not intoxicating or exciting. At least...unnecessary danger was not exciting though she couldn't pretend that a small thrill didn't run up her spine at the thought of a good fight.

But it was also because the suburb itself felt different. It was not peaceful. It was...waiting. She felt like everyone was holed up behind their doors and windows but no one was asleep. Everyone was just waiting, holding their collective breaths, like a mouse waiting for the owl's shadow to pass. Why? Was there some predator here that hunted these people?

All of it made her tense and her hand tightened around the dracon beam, her fingers brushing the trigger as she watched the young man walk away. He was all the way down the block now and she could just make out a black form in the white light of the street lamp. She couldn't tell which way he was facing as he stopped on the corner. Her hand tightened further and she felt herself settlingly into that calm state that always came before a fight for her. It was business to her, this was her business, and she handled it professionally.

And because of that she heard the footsteps behind the door before the door itself opened. She didn't turn to look at the door. Sedra was not an enemy, not to her, and the threat, if there was one, wouldn't come from that direction. Her eyes stayed locked onto the figure at the end of the street.

"Luce. Come in." Luce eyes flickered to her side to look at Sedra...and got caught there.

She had been preparing for some sort of confrontation or, worse, the cold indifferent tone that hurt more than an angry one could. But she heard neither. There was only a slight concern in Sedra's voice. But that wasn't what had caught Luce's attention. Even after the last time she had come, she was still surprised that Sedra had such a strong affect on her and she had not expected, or been prepared for her to show up on her doorstep in a towel.

Then again, it wasn't like she had called first and she was stopping by at an obscene hour for most people. She shouldn't have expected anything. Maybe she should have knocked. But...she had knocked.

"Um, I, just came to," she realized she was staring and looked at the door, "just...yeah ok," she said stepping into the house since it was probably the safest choice thing to do for many reasons though such security concerns that had been forefront in her mind just a moment before seemed to have been driven away.

Her hand still toyed with the dracon beam but now it was to give it something to do. The other was at a loss for what to do with itself and was currently clutching the back of her neck. "I just came by to say that...well, you know, I'm actually not sure. I had this whole--but I forgot. Just--how are you?" She said, throwing the responsibility of conversation away like the metaphorical hot stone in the children's game.


Sedra
Luce stepped past her, and Sedra gave one last cursory glance out past the doorway before closing the door. The deadbolt made a small clicking noise as Sedra locked it again. The room they were in--the front room--was large and cold. The ceiling angled upwards, stopping at the second floor where a railing overlooked the room. There were a couple couches scattered in it, along with a glass coffee table. Huddled in one of the corners was a wooden upright piano, dusty and leftover from the old human owners of the house. Back when humans still ruled the planet, the room might have been used to entertain guests.

Turning, she faced Luce, one slender hand clutching the edge of the towel to keep it covering her. Sedra didn't appear uncomfortable in only the towel, and the curve of her lip inched up slightly at Luce's stare. Sedra looked freshly washed; Her dark, curly hair was dripping with cold droplets of water, beads of it lingering across her skin. Her shoulders were relaxed.

Once she noticed the dracon beam Luce was holding, however, her expression changed. Her eyes strayed on the weapon briefly, questioning, before lifting back to Luce's face as the woman struggled with what she was saying. Truthfully, Sedra hadn't been sure whether Luce would return or not after the first night. Her departure had been abrupt and unhappy. Then the events in Indonesia--and afterward--had gone very badly on both ends. It was just through luck and timing that Sedra had been able to pull Eva out of the whole mess.

In the least, Sedra had gotten part of what she wanted from the infested Animorph. Information. Information was valuable, whether she had lost the Animorph or not. It didn't even matter that the Yeerk involved had been killed in the process.

Sedra had no clue the extent of what Luce knew about it all, whether good or bad. No doubt that the Animorphs had told Luce some of what had happened. Maybe that was what the dracon beam was for. Maybe not. She would not have been surprised. Their relationship--whatever it was--did not mean that Sedra sided with the Animorphs or free humans. Sedra did her job to the Empire. Luce did hers to her free humans and Animorphs. It was separate.

Luce's question finally brought a quiet smile to her face. One eyebrow arched up a little. "I see." She considered it for a moment, running her fingertips through the damp tangle of her hair. "Fine. I am fine. Tired from--" there was an obvious, sudden pause. It was easy to be lulled into normal chatter with Luce, forget who she was. Easy to forget that anything Sedra said could be passed back into the hands of that Animorph leader and used. Easy to forget she wasn't Jals. Sedra's blue eyes scanned Luce's, thinking. She seemed hesitant, but then decided to speak anyways.

"--Tired. Recovering. I spent a couple days in Chicago, for my job." She left it at that for a moment. She was having a tug-of-war with herself, deciding which pieces of information were good to give out and which ones might hurt her. One of the pieces was getting promoted. It was something that had been on her mind since it happened, and it was something she wanted to share with someone else besides her host. She was, of course, proud of herself for getting the promotion.

Instead, she directed the question back. "And you?" The tone of her voice had hints of sincere interest, along with some curiosity. She didn't know what Animorphs normally did, beside cause trouble and kill controllers. And, she had missed Luce.


Luce
Luce nodded, maybe a bit more than necessary, and decided to concentrate on the vase that was on the small table by the door. Her eyes had initially been drawn there because of the dracon beam present. Even when she wanted to relax she couldn't help noticing little things like that.

"I'm fine. Did a bit of traveling myself. New York is pretty terrible this time of year but Mexico is gorgeous. We should--you should go sometime, if you haven't been." She pulled the dracon beam out of the holster and placed it on the table next to the other one. After a moment's hesitation she unsheathed the knife and put that down as well.

She was never completely un-armed as a rule. Ever since the day some controller bastard had picked her up on a beach and she'd gotten a slug shoved in her head she had learned that the world wouldn't do you any favors. If you didn't protect yourself no one would do it for you.

But these weren't normal circumstances. She and Sedra were still enemies in many ways and yet they were trying to build something, or at least she was trying to build something or hoped to build something, maybe. They couldn't really trust each other in most things but they had to start somewhere.

She wondered where to go from here. Normally she would have asked why Sedra had gone to Chicago. And, unlike most times when she had to make small talk, Luce was actually interested. She wanted to know what was going on with Sedra, what her day was like, what her life was like.

But if Sedra had asked her the same question Luce couldn't have risked answering. She couldn't tell Sedra why she'd gone to New York, couldn't reveal that the faction leaders of all the factions met there once every six months. And she couldn't even tell her why they went to Mexico lest Sedra go looking for the refugee camp.

So what could you talk about when everything you said could reveal a secret?

"Where were you born?" It was a drastic change of subject but as far as Luce could see the only thing safe was the past. It had already happened and nothing they did could change it now. The present was uncertain and the future? Did they even have one? She didn't really want to think too deeply about that. All she could hear were Suji's words. "She is the enemy. And this war is only going to get more and more painful if you're fighting for a dream of sharing the future with... someone like her."

Someone like her. What did that even mean? "Or if not born...I guess I'm not sure what type of childhood your kind has."


Sedra
Sedra drew the towel closer to herself as Luce spoke, starting to feel a small chill. The room around them was dimly lit, with some its light stolen from the nearby lamp. The rest filtered down from the hallway, where the holo-projector was still babbling on. Even so, Sedra could make out Luce's movements as she put her dracon beam and knife on the table. Her gaze lingered curiously on the knife.

The dimness of the room masked the slight surprise on her face at what Luce said. Did the Animorphs travel around that much or was it just Luce? Maybe it shouldn't have been unexpected to her, but she had been under the assumption that the Animorphs had their little bases in whichever city and then were glued to it. Traveling was dangerous, especially for Animorphs, and both Mexico and New York were relatively far away.

"Too bad New York was terrible. That's a goodly distance to travel." Her first thought was a question. What business would an Animorph have there? Sedra had spent time in New York before, but Luce would already know that. It was where she had infested Luce with Jals. In all this time, she hadn't really given thought about what had happened back then. For some reason the memory of it, now, was making her feel uncomfortable.

<<Maybe because you're beginning to realize that hosts are more than just bodies.>> The thought from her host was silent, faded. But it was there. A quick denial came to Sedra's mind. Her lip twitched slightly, but there was no other recognition of what Catherine had said.

"I've never been to Mexico. My hos-" Sedra stopped herself. Neither Sedra or Luce had spoken about Catherine since this whole thing had started, and Sedra truly didn't want to start. "I've never been." Unless it was work-related, she didn't usually travel. Most of the time there was too much for her to do here. Too many things to handle and keep watch over. It didn't mean she hated traveling, quite the opposite. It was fun, when she had had the time to do it. Seeing different landscapes, different places. Sedra paused a moment. "Maybe sometime you could show me it." The statement was said casually. But she meant it. Maybe this wasn't the time, but maybe eventually. If there was an eventually between them.

Luce asked where she had been born and Sedra blinked. Then a thoughtful expression crossed her face. "I was born in space. Up in a large pool ship, orbiting the planet." Her voice took on a wistful tone as she spoke. "Earth was the first thing I ever saw." She left out that it had been through eyes that weren't her own. Her old host, a Gedd, didn't have the best vision compared to other species, but it had been something. Suddenly there had been a world of color, shapes, beauty. It was one of her most vivid memories--the stark, inky black emptiness of space. Then the massive expanse of Earth, filled with deep blues and greens and the occasional swirl of milky white clouds.

A smile touched to her lips. "We don't have a childhood like you do. Not in the sense you think of it." It was one thing Yeerks didn't have the chance to experience much of; being a child, being young, being raised, growing up. Caring for their own children. "Our parents die to have us. We never know them, only our own brothers and sisters." There didn't seem to be any grief or sadness present in the statement. It was a fact of life for all Yeerks, and it didn't bother Sedra in the least. Yeerks died to make other Yeerks. It was the circle of life for their species. Perhaps it was one of the reasons Sedra sometimes clung so hard to the idea of loving another being--as a mother or otherwise--it was so alien, strange, overwhelming. What do you do when you experience something your species is not really hard-wired to experience?

"The first part of my life was spent training. Later I figured I wanted to be a scientist, and work with studying other species. Figure out how the world works. Things like that. Then I was sent down to Earth. That was my childhood." The sound of someone shouting drifted down the hallway, interrupting her. She turned her head towards the noise. It had come from the holo-projector. Sedra brought her gaze back to Luce, trying not to shiver in the cold air. "Do you want to move to the living room or something? I'm going to get dressed."


Luce
Luce swallowed uncomfortably when Sedra began talking about Earth. She was right, it was beautiful from space. Just like the stars were beautiful from earth. But the memory of the first time she'd seen it that way was tainted since it had been through eyes controlled by Jals.

She remembered what it had been like to feel so small, so insignificant in comparison to that sight, to that planet. It had looked like a blue jewel to her and yet she had felt an immense presence of life coming from it. She couldn't describe it better than that. But she had felt connected to it in a way she'd never been connected to anything. That planet was hers. It had given her life. It had given her whole species life. And she, in turn, must give back.

She remembered feeling a deep sense of loyalty and duty to help it, protect it, serve it in some way. And she remembered what Jals had said as the yeerk had watched her thoughts and feelings.

You have nothing to give. All you are belongs to me. It had sounded flighty and over dramatic to her but that was Jals for you. The yeerk had odd moments when it felt it was a poet.

But despite the fanciful phrasing the feeling behind it was anything but pretty. You belong to me. She didn't know why but she was constantly surprised by that sense of entitlement that Jals' had possessed. The sense of ownership. It truly saw Luce and her body as something that belonged to it and rightfully so.

And it never once questioned that belief. No matter how much she utterly rejected the concept that she could ever belong to another creature Jals' faith in its own world view had never wavered. It had seen her rebellion and her refusal to surrender as problems, but not unexpected ones.

It was like when your car's check engine light came on or your internet went too slow. The problems were inconveniences but not unexpected or unusual ones and it in no way implied that the car or the computer had a mind of its own or a right to a life free of your demands.

Jals no more believed that she should be free than Luce would have believed a car had a right to choose its own destination. And that belief had been the hardest thing to fight. When someone believed something so strongly and so completely, especially if they were one of the only people you had contact with, you began to believe it too. Any sane person would be affected by the opinion of others. It was just how humans were wired. People who were completely able to maintain a reality separate from the one agreed upon by those around them were insane, plain and simple.

So living with Jals' belief everyday, living in a world of controllers who all believed it too, had almost convinced Luce they were right. In the dark moments that is what she believed. Hell, that defined the dark moments, the times when she believed she was nothing more than a host body.

Only the regular three day feeding periods when she was free, when she spoke to the few fellow humans that hadn't given up yet, that hadn't been broken, only then was she reminded that she was human and that she deserved better. Catherine had been the one to remind her most often and Luce had helped her by doing the same.

Who was there to remind Catherine not to give up hope now? Luce could no longer do it. Anything that she said to Catherine would be seen, would be heard by Sedra. And it would be taken as a betrayal no matter how she phrased it.

But she hadn't forgotten her friend, she just didn't know how to free her. But she still hoped to one day and to do so in a way that didn't kill Sedra because she didn't think she could do that any more than she could live the rest of her life knowing Catherine was a prisoner inside of her own head.

"Sure," she replied to Sedra's offer to move into the living room. "I've never seen Earth from space," she said, fudging the truth a little. But to her it felt true. She would like to see it with her own eyes one day. She'd like to see it when she was free. She would like to stand there again, see her planet and make it the oath she had once wanted to take to protect it, to serve it. A slave couldn't make any promises because they weren't master of their actions. So Luce would like to go back. "I'll make you a deal. I'll take you to Mexico, if you take me to space."

It was said in the same casual tone as Sedra's offer but it was a promise for the future, a statement of intention. It was a start.

"If you didn't know what you wanted to be at first what sort of training did you receive?" She asked as she followed Sedra into the common room, leaving the dracon and the knife behind.


Sedra
"Alright. Seems fair enough to me," Sedra murmured. An amused smile flickered across her face. "It is beautiful. Although it might be a bit harder to arrange going up there than traveling to Mexico." Humans had a strong fascination with the stars that sometimes rivaled the Yeerks' own. It might have been because space was still such a young concept to humans, while Yeerks had spent most their present existence there, thanks to the Andalites. While humans had looked up to the stars in search of some kind of universal truth, some explanation of life or perhaps even just a curiosity of the unknown--Yeerks had looked up from their planet in the hope of finding greener pastures.

Maybe part of it had been to explore the unknown, but there was always this core need to expand outward and find more hosts. They had always searched to find hosts suitable enough to allow every Yeerk the miracle of sight and sound and life. To most Yeerks, Earth was a gift--a gift the Andalites had dropped in their laps after turning tail and running away like the cowards they were. It was something that made her host hate the Andalites just as much as Sedra did.

Sedra cocked her head towards the hallway to the bathroom, then glanced to Luce. "Give me a moment." Slipping away, she turned a corner to where the bathroom was. She'd been right in the middle of getting ready for bed when Luce had arrived, so hanging across the metal bar against the wall were her clothes for the night--a black-lace slip. Shivering again, she pulled the plush towel from around her body and hung it on an empty towel rack. Then she started changing into the slip, shifting dark curls of her hair across her shoulder as the slip's fabric brushed down her hips and fell mid-thigh.

<<You shouldn't be leaving the children with that damn controller this long. You should have called him and asked for them back. He could've told other Yeerks. You don't even know if they're okay-->>

"Shut up," Sedra hissed under her breath. Her host had no right to begin lecturing her. Straightening up, she smoothed her hands down her waist and across the silky folds of cloth, then gave another glance to the mirror. There was no reason to explain or respond to her host. No reason to validate her existence beyond just hearing the silent thoughts in the back of her mind. Exchanging words with a host was considered by most Yeerks to be stupid or pointless. But maybe it was because Sedra could see her own worry reflected back in the mirror, on Catherine's face, that she did.

<<If something went wrong, then I wouldn't be here right now. If the others knew, then they would have intercepted me when we arrived back at Area 51 earlier. They are fine.>> There was a sense of confidence behind her own words that she wasn't entirely feeling. Living in the world she lived in had caused her to be paranoid and overly-cautious, and rightly so. Maybe it had been a bad idea. But she was right. If something had gone wrong, then she wouldn't be here. Probably.

Sedra returned quickly back to the living room where Luce was, brushing fingers through her drying hair. The holo-projector was still droning on in the background. Sedra glanced briefly at it before Luce asked her question. "Hm. Usually general combat training and technical skills. Things that would be useful." Then Sedra paused, her eyes resting on Luce's, before continuing. "When I was doing that, we were still at war with Earth. Secretly, of course. I was being trained to be a soldier to fight down on the planet."

By the tone in her voice, it was clear that wasn't what she had wanted to do. Even up in the ship where she had been 'raised', there had been loads of Yeerk politics. "One of the higher-ups saw that I had an aptitude for the sciences, but she felt threatened by me. So, being the higher rank, she sent me down to help with the fighting." Bitterness was beginning to seep into her voice, and Sedra stopped.

"Anyway. I have something for you," she said, a sly look crossing her face. Turning, her bare feet grazed across the cool tiles as she made her way to the wooden kitchen table. There was a fancy table cloth thrown over it, and a vase filled with fake flowers sitting in the middle. It was another relic left over from the previous owners of the house, and Sedra liked to keep it around because flowers didn't always like to grow in this climate.

Sitting underneath the vase was something that looked vaguely like a cell-phone. Picking it up, she sidled up close to Luce, her bare shoulder touching lightly against Luce's. Extending her arm forward, she held the device out in front of them both. "What do you think?" She flipped it open and held it sideways so Luce could get it. It was a holo-communicator. There was any number of dangers that could arise from giving Luce something like this. However, it felt needed.


Luce
Luce nodded as Sedra disappeared and turned to watch the holo projector. There had been a time when she had seen it almost everyday. Jals had watched the news channels obsessively. Not because it wanted to know what was going on since Jals had better access to information than most of the controllers assigned to rattle off these updates on the empire, but to just see what was being officially said about things. Jals had a lot of faults but it had understood how important information and public opinion were to the running of any government. Even an empire that ruled with an iron fist. Luce was a soldier but Jals was a born politician. Their natures had never mixed well.

Now she watched the images flash before her eyes with a renewed interest. She wondered how much of this could be used. What could they learn to help their cause from these broadcasts? Maybe nothing. To an untrained eye there was nothing useful here but maybe someone better at reading between the lines could find something useful. She made up her mind to tell Rian to get one of these things somehow, maybe a YPM contact or one of his free human friends that might have access or something.

She turned around when Sedra came back into the living room and narrowed her eyes at her choice of dress before turning back to look at the holo projector. Luce listened with interest to Sedra's past. It was surprising and yet refreshing to hear about something so normal, something that didn't have to do with the war and wasn't said in a tense tone that seemed to accompany any talk of the present. She wanted to know a lot more. She wouldn't mind staying here and trading stories all night but too quickly it seemed to be over. Sedra moved on to another topic and turned to pick something up.

A slight smile curved Luce's lips as she saw the communicator Sedra was holding up. It was almost as if Sedra had read her mind but as she reached out and took the communicator she realized that she probably couldn't give this one to Rian. She'd have to explain where she'd gotten it from and that would get complicated.

"I like it but what is it for?" she asked as she brought up the program that stored contacts and noticed that this one was unusually blank. These communicators normally had pre-programmed links to many routine yeerk databases, things like lists of ranks or the location of local offices that the average controller might need to get to, an automatic pool finder was always useful and almost always included. This one didn't have any of the usual contacts and could she really expect Sedra to hand her a device with that information on it? It was bad enough this one could probably access some of the smaller open channels that didn't carry as much data over them as the large media one they were watching now.

But there was one contact that had been programed into the device. Sedra's. "A direct line?" she asked, startled as she saw the name.


Sedra
Sedra's lip twitched a bit in irritation at Luce's focus on the holo-projector. She'd forgotten to turn it off earlier, but it didn't mean that she wanted the Animorph watching the channel. Once Luce was distracted with the device, Sedra moved away from her. Slipping around one of the couches, she snatched the remote from the coffee table and switched the holo-projector off. It made a small buzzing sound before the images flickered away. The room fell slightly darker, being lit by a few lamps sitting around the living room and kitchen. The silence left from the holo-projector was quickly filled with the constant, gentle hum of crickets from outside the house.

Setting the remote back down on a small table, Sedra moved to lean against the nearby couch's arm. One of her hands rested against the soft surface, keeping herself balanced upright. Quietly, she watched as Luce messed around with the holo-communicator.

"I like it but what is it for?" Luce asked.

"It's sort of like..." Sedra paused, searching her host for some type of comparison. "...A cell-phone. Although not particularly the same. It has some of the same uses." Most Yeerks didn't spend a ton of time chatting with other Yeerks for pleasure, and so the device wasn't usually used for that. But there were many other very useful things that it could do, and it had all but replaced the human's sloppier, clunky cell-phone.

After Sedra had acquired this particular holo-communicator, she had taken it to her work to have it modified by one of the technicians at Area 51. He had cleared the contacts and reprogrammed it. Hopefully, there wasn't much else it could do besides what had been programmed by the technician. The holo-communicators could be useful, but Sedra didn't want its more important features falling into the hands of the Animorphs. And inevitably, it would be in their hands. She knew that. She wanted to trust Luce, but she knew she did not trust Luce's friends. Of course, that meant if one of them was skilled enough with electronics they could possibly do something with it. It was part of the danger of giving it away.

Sedra glanced up from the device, at Luce's question. "Yes, a direct line. For emergencies. I thought it might be useful." Sedra was opening up a line between herself and the Animorphs. As annoying and as destructive as the Animorphs were to the Empire and the Yeerks, Sedra had found that they could come in use sometimes. Even against the Empire, when that sort of thing was needed. A Yeerk would be stupid not to find the usefulness in that.

Leaning back slightly, she crossed her ankles. Luce had been asking her questions about her past life, and Sedra was curious herself about Luce's past. When it looked like Luce was done messing with the communicator, Sedra spoke. "So then. Now that I've shared a little, tell me about your childhood."


Luce
Luce was surprised at the change of topic though she welcomed it. She put the holo projector in her jacket pocket and walked over to the couch and sat down on it behind Sedra and stretched her legs out in front of her. She had been sitting for more than 24 hours as she rode the bike from Mexico to Dallas and back to Vegas, trying to make the best time possible. The tight jeans she had on were tucked into her tough and well worn combat boots and she had a t-shirt on under her jacket which was made of dark brown leather and was worn enough that is wasn't stiff and fit her well. All of it was very comfortable wear for her but after being in it for the whole day even she felt uncomfortable and she envied Sedra her own apparel at the moment though she had to wonder at her choice.

Needless to say the slip was very...attractive and Sedra looked very good in it, something Luce would have to be blind to avoid seeing, but why wear something like it at all? Luce could not imagine that Sedra was completely unaware of the nature of her choice of clothing or the effect it would have on Luce. Sedra may be an alien that claimed to be above human concerns and messy emotions (a claim Luce deeply doubted) but she had lived as a human a long time now, long enough to know her way around their world. At the same time Luce still couldn't exactly see Sedra going through any special effort to impress or attract her. She was just a human. The thought was a bitter one and she didn't want to examine it too closely. Was she bitter because she wanted to be more than human? Or because being human had somehow started to be equated with being less?

She tried to think of something more positive. Her childhood. "I grew up all over the place," Luce began. "My parents, they were a bit...impracticle," she said with a frown as if she were talking about her child instead of her parents. "Neither really wanted to settle down to a real job and they were both lucky enough to find a mate that agreed to that lifestyle." Luce closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the back of the couch, remembering her parents. "I was born in England, in Bristol to be exact, and I spent the first six years of my life there in one part of the country or another. That's where the occasional accent comes from. After that we moved to New Zealand for a bit because that is where my mom was from and she wanted us to spend time with her parents. My grandparents were sheep herders but who isn't in New Zealand," a smile coming to her face as she remembered the summers spent helping her grandfather herd sheep and the large saint bernard they had owned. The dog had been larger than her for the whole time she'd lived there.

"And then I moved here when I was 15 and my sister was 13 and by here I mean Long Island." She opened her eyes and shrugged. "There wasn't much to my childhood really. I kind of stuck to myself growing up. You learn to be friendly if you're always the new kid but not to make close friends. I've never really had any until-" she didn't finish the sentence, letting it trail off. Luce had only two people in her life that she would call a close friend, maybe three. One was Suji who had pointed a dracon beam at both of them on the dam. And the other was Catherine. Neither seemed like good topics of conversation.

"I don't know. I guess that's it for me. I have duel citizenship in England and the US because my father was American," she was doing her version of rambling now which included talking about useless details such as citizenship in a country that no longer really existed, "but I consider the US home more than any of the others really."


Sedra
Sedra's gaze lingered on the holo-communicator as Luce pocketed it. The slight unease she was feeling about it was absent from her expression, but it lurked in the back of her mind. There was a vast list of things that Sedra had done that could land her in deep trouble with the Council of Thirteen. Handing Yeerk technology over to the guerrillas was high on the Empire's list of treasonous activities, among the many other things--like allowing an Animorph to live, in her presence, uninfested.

However, that wasn't exactly what bothered her about it. Conceding to the fact that the Animorphs could be useful, that establishing even just a thin thread of contact between them could be beneficial--that was beyond treason. It filled her with an uncomfortable, agitated feeling. Even being with Luce, Sedra hadn't ever considered herself a traitor to the Empire. Still loyal to the Yeerk cause, loyal to her own species, to the Empire ruling over them. To the validity of their goals: the domination of other species and the expansion of her own. Always loyal, always dutiful. Even in the face of her betrayals.

Being with Luce, that had to be different. In this house, the stucco walls separated the two of them from the violent fissure between human and Yeerk. From the Empire, from the free humans. Beyond those walls, there was war and there was violence. Lines drawn. Hate, killing. It was different. The holo-communicator was nothing. It meant nothing. Just another mark on the long list of crimes against the Empire. Still loyal.

The moon's silvery light splashed through the windows and glass door facing the backyard. Luce's movements cast a small shadow across the floor tiles, and Sedra pulled herself off the couch's arm as she passed by. Sedra didn't appear uncomfortable by her own choice of clothing--in fact, the easy confidence in her posture suggested otherwise. It was an article she'd worn around Jals, something he might've liked and so, she assumed, Luce would. A slightly arrogant, if not a bit careless, assumption.

Settling comfortably near her on the couch, she listened attentively to Luce's past. Some of this was familiar to her host. All the memories of Catherine and Luce speaking together in the pool cages were memories that Sedra had already gone through at her leisure. Those few hours of freedom that the hosts had were plagued with a desperate craving for human contact. A confirmation to each other that they existed beyond their body. Beyond a shell with usable memories. It was usually where juicy tidbits of information about other Yeerks were blurted out by their hosts.

"Ah, the accent. I was wondering," Sedra said, and the edge of her lips curved upward. "But all that traveling around, it seems like it would make for an interesting childhood. Traveling excessively, now, isn't exactly.. encouraged, in the Empire. The planet is so large, but I've not been to many places on it." Sedra paused. Acting as Catherine, it had always been easy to converse with humans. It was easy to pluck a response from her host and then relay it to someone else. To flawlessly fake to be human. However, with other Yeerks it was different--there weren't too many reasons to go beyond surface communication. Jals had been different. Jals had been the only other Yeerk Sedra had felt comfortable enough to speak 'normally' to, without the pretenses of rank. But it was because of this that Sedra found herself working to relate. Pretend to be someone else long enough and you forget how to be yourself.

A small silence descended after Luce stopped mid-sentence. In the quiet, Catherine's feelings were like a dull sore, a headache thrumming in the back of her mind. The crickets outside sang, and Sedra forced her focus away from her host. Then, the moment ebbed, and Luce started rambling about duel citizenship.

"Ahh, I see. Useful," Sedra murmured. She shifted on the couch, dark blue eyes lifting to trace the curves of Luce's face, to meet her eyes. There had to be a chunk of her story missing--the part where the Yeerks had taken over Earth. The part where she had become an Animorph. The expression on Sedra's face seemed almost questioning, mouth ready to form the words to ask: What made her fight? A topic she probably shouldn't ask about, if Luce would even answer. It was as likely as Sedra was to talk about the work she did for the Empire. Instead, she didn't ask. Instead, she leaned over enough to kiss her softly.


Luce
Luce watched Sedra as closely as she dared to see what her reaction was to all of this. In the end all she could see, or thought she could see, were unasked questions. It was how every conversation seemed to end between them. Both of them holding things back and leaving a lot more unsaid than was ever said. There was simply too much that was different and they both knew it. If it was spoken about, if it was acknowledged than this, whatever they had, would be over. So they swept it under the rug, let the elephant sit in the room undisturbed.

Luce didn't know how Sedra felt about this but she knew that it was tearing her apart. What was it that Abraham Lincoln had once said? The South had asked the North to crucify their conscience. That is what it felt like to be here and to be with Sedra. Luce loved her but she could never forget that it was wrong. Instead she had to try to ignore her conscience, kill the part of her that was worth anything just to make it shut up. And how long could this last?

She wanted to just be free. To be able to care for someone completely and honestly. But that wasn't the hand she had been dealt. Not tonight and maybe not ever. She could love Sedra this way, sneaking away from duty, stealing time, always having to lie...or not at all. As always, Luce chose Sedra. Even this was better than not being with her at all.

She kissed her back.


Kiejen
Kiejen walked up the sidewalk in front of Sedra's house with an energetic spring to his step. Sedra was supposed to be back tonight, but probably not until early tomorrow. So he wasn't dropping the kids off until the next morning. So that meant he didn't have to watch them much longer. They weren't anything he couldn't handle, but it would still be nice to not have to worry about them. Kiejen examined the flowers in his host's hands once again as he neared the door. They were a welcome home present.

Kiejen tried the knob on the door. Locked, as expected. He pulled out the spare key he had been given and opened the door. He would just go find a vase to stick the flowers in until she got home. Wouldn't she be delighted to se some bright cheery flora on the center of her kitchen table when she got home? Hopefully.

Kiejen walked down the short hallway by the front door to try and find the kitchen since that is where he would probably find a vase. But instead of a vase, he found something else. At the end of the hall he found Sedra and a woman sitting on a couch. For a moment Kiejen feared he had interrupted an important meeting. That is, until he noticed what they were actually doing.

His bouquet of flowers crashed to the floor as he stared, stunned. "S-Sedra... ?" he finally stammered. He couldn't pry his eyes from the two women.


Sedra
Sedra's eyes slid closed, her body leaning forward slightly, breathing relaxed. The gentle click of the front door being unlocked down the hallway went unnoticed, hidden beneath the steady rhythm of crickets chirping outside. It wasn't until she heard her name from Kiejen's lips that Sedra realized he was there. Every muscle in her body went rigid, and she immediately jerked away from Luce. In the same instant, her lungs filled with a sharp breath.

"Kiejen?" The tone of her voice was very nasty, dark blue eyes wide. The expression on her face held raw surprise, shock, that was quickly swallowed by anger. She technically wasn't supposed to be back until the next morning, and Kiejen should know that. Putting the children in his care had already been a giant leap of faith for her. Now this. A prickling sensation flooded across her arms, and she could feel the strong pounding of her host's heart in her chest.

<<He fucking knows now. He's gonna skip over to the nearest Yeerk asshole and tell everyone everything. They'll take the kids--they'll put them back in the farms or worse. You shouldn't have trusted him.>> Catherine was panicking in the back of her mind. Sedra pressed a knuckle against her temple, struggling to maintain her focus in the middle of the sudden onslaught of her host's worries.

Rising from the couch, she moved stiffly until she was facing Kiejen. She threw a short glance to Luce, before locking her gaze on the other controller. "Kiejen. What are you doing here? I was returning tomorrow morning. Not tonight." The Sub-Visser's tightly-controlled demeanor had returned in full force, and each word was crisp.

"You..." It was then that she noted the flowers, scattered across the tiles in a leafy mess. One slender eyebrow twitched. The flowers explained his presence. But had he come to give her that? A shred of sudden understanding found its way into her eyes, and she lifted her gaze back to his, body still tense. "You shouldn't be here. Where are the kids? Are they okay? Why aren't you watching them?" No attempt at an explanation, no attempt to act nice.


Luce
Luce stayed quiet throughout the exchange. The only move she made was to stand up. She wished now she hadn't left her dracon beam on the table by the door. There was no way to get to it except to go past the unknown controller and she didn't exactly want to remind him of her presence right now.

Luce turned away and tried to pretend that it was none of her business. She hoped she would just look like a low level controller too afraid to interfere with a Sub-Vissers dressing down of a subordinate. There wasn't much hope of that at this point but she could always try, even if turning her back on the man/controller made her uncomfortable.

She had to wonder why he was here and who he was but a second later she got a bit of a clue. She forced herself not to react when she heard that Sedra had left the children with this controller. Why hadn't Luce thought of that, of course the children weren't here. Sedra had said she'd been traveling too. God this could turn badly very quickly. She only hoped that Sedra had a lot of control over whoever this Kiejen was.


Kiejen
Kiejen heard Sedra's words, but he wasn't listening. His eyes were too busy watching the other woman in the room. The one Sedra had been... He couldn't even bring himself to think it! Sedra was supposed to be his! She shared her secret with him. She entrusted her secret kids with him. And this is how he was repaid? With complete and utter betrayal?

"Shut up. Just, shut up!" He pushed past her, pacing angrily into the room for two steps before turning around and pacing back to where he had been standing. He didn't even bother to step over the flowers he had brought. Didn't even bother to treat Sedra as his superior in the chain of command.

He turned and stared Sedra right in the eye, pointed his finger at her face as if he were about to say something, but didn't. Tears were in his eyes by this time. He dropped his hand and started for the door. "You worried about your precious kids? Fine. I'll go get your precious kids." There was a thick layer of bitterness in Kiejen's words. Kiejen took his copy of the house keys out of his pocket and set them on the table next to the door. He wouldn't need them anymore. Then he saw a dracon gun laying that same table and decided it would be a good idea to bring it with him. As he exited the door, he muttered one last, "Goodbye... Sedra."


Sedra
The expression on her face darkened considerably as Kiejen pushed past and began shouting at her to shut up, icy blue eyes filling with a barely contained rage. Slowly, her fingers curled into a fist at her side, knuckles draining to a bone white. "Kiejen435, you forget your place as subordinate. Contain yourself." The words were spoken with a tightly controlled voice. As much as he was making her angry, the fact that he had the kids was the top-most thought in her mind. At first she assumed she could bully him into submission, but it was clear that he was letting his own emotions overwhelm him.

Sedra stood motionless as he jabbed a finger in her face, feeling her host's fingernails biting into the soft palm of her hand. He looked about ready to say something, when he suddenly turned and headed towards the hallway. The way he spoke his next words sent another prickling sensation racing across her flesh. Her mouth opened, the words a hiss under her breath: "Where are you going?" In all her years of being a Sub-Visser, no one had dared to act in such a way to her. Least of all Kiejen, who always seemed so meek and submissive to her that she had practically dismissed him. However, the surprised feeling was fading fast as the door to the house slammed close. Then, the hum of his car starting, and then the wheels squealing against the asphalt.

"Shit, shit, shit," Sedra pressed a hand to her head, and stared at the space where Kiejen had just been standing. In the back of her mind, her host was ranting furiously about the other controller. Sedra glanced to Luce, uncertainty in her expression. "I gave him the kids to look after. He's got them at his house, and I don't know what he's going to go do. I don't trust him. If he's stupid enough to do what he just did, he might be stupid enough to do something else. I don't know." Sedra paused, trying to consider what to do. It was risky. It had all been risky from the start, and now everything was uncertain. "We need to go get them. I'll grab my keys."

Every sort of bad situation was flashing through her head--most prominently, that he would grab the kids and hand them to some Yeerk official in some sort of revenge. Sedra hurriedly disappeared down the hallway for a minute, returning dressed in some jeans and a shirt. Jingling in in her hand were the keys to her car, and she beckoned Luce to follow her down the hallway to the front door.

The second dracon beam was still lying on the table next to the door, and Sedra snatched it quickly, shoving it in the back of her jeans. Then she swung open the door and jogged down the sidewalk to where her car was waiting. Luce's motorcycle sat next to it, reflecting back the streetlights that hung nearby. She clicked the car keys, and the back lights flashed as it unlocked.


Luce
The man stormed out and his behavior made him seem like some sort of jilted lover. In fact, as Luce noticed the trampled bouquet of flowers on the floor, she realized he was probably something exactly like that. She actually felt a spike of pure jealousy. The emotion was so adolescent and immature but it was very real. Of course, she had to remind herself she was had no right to talk. Not only had she and Jals disappeared for months, Luce still hadn't figured out a good way to tell Sedra about Aolani. Still...

Sedra turned to her and began explaining the situation. She was talking so fast that Luce didn't even have a chance to react before she was off, down the hall to change and get her keys. Luce wasn't sure how to feel about the fact that Sedra had automatically assumed she would help and that they would go get Eva and Andrew back together.

Of course she wanted to go and would have gone on her own anyway. But she hadn't expected Sedra to include her. She had kind of thought Sedra wouldn't see the need. The children were hers. She had arranged to get them back and to make sure they were taken care of while she went on a trip of some sort (though maybe that last had been a mistake). Luce hadn't helped with any of it, hadn't been allowed to. And yet Sedra included her automatically, almost as if she felt Luce should be there.

Sedra came back and had changed into more sensible clothing and the expression on her face brought Luce back to reality. Some unknown controller had just disappeared into the night and very well may have their-the children. It wasn't the time to sit around and second guess every word and action of Sedra's looking for some hidden clue to help Luce figure out their relationship.

Luce followed Sedra out of the house, grabbing her knife from the small table as she passed by. She followed Sedra to the car and opened the passenger door but didn't climb in. Instead she put the knife on the roof of the car and began taking off her clothing and throwing it inside the car to retrieve later. Her jacket went first, then the boots and the jeans followed until she was standing only in her morphing suit. She took the knife from the roof of the car and strapped it to her hip so that it would morph with her and leaned down so that she could see Sedra in the driver's seat.

"Animorph remember," she said with a small smile. "I'll follow him and let you know where he is heading." It seemed inadequate, like she should say something. Good luck perhaps, or, we'll find him, but good luck didn't seem to fit because Luce was going with her, and she wasn't sure the second phrase was true. She didn't really like to proclaim success before it had actually been achieved. So instead of finding something else to say she climbed into the car long enough to kiss Sedra before getting back out again and closing the door.

She walked back up to the house so that she would be out of sight of the street and began the owl morph. It didn't take her long and soon she lifted off from the ground and began spiraling for altitude while trying to scan the near by streets looking for a car heading away from here.

<<I think I see him,>> Luce sent down to Sedra's car. She scanned the street corners, thankful for the owl's night vision, and then reported which street his car was on.

[Aubrey]

Sedra
Sedra yanked open the car door to the driver's side, jamming her set of keys into the ignition. The car started with a muffled rumble, its white headlights flashing against the garage door in front. Sedra, too busy worrying, hadn't been paying attention to what Luce was doing outside the car until a leather jacket went flying past her, into the back seat. With both hands gripped around the driving wheel, Sedra leaned forward in her seat to catch sight of Luce undressing. "What--"

"Animorph remember," Luce said. In all her haste to chase down Kiejen, Sedra had practically forgotten one of them could take on a set of wings. Sedra exhaled a small breath. Racing after Kiejen and actually catching him felt a little bit more tangible now. "Ahh, right. Good idea." Then Luce leaned forward into the car, to kiss her. It seemed to set the Sub-Visser slightly more at ease, and before Luce could fully close the door Sedra leaned sideways to say, "Thank you. For helping."

As Luce walked away, Sedra pulled the car into reverse. It bounced a little as it hit the curb, rubber wheels grabbing at the asphalt as she jerked the wheel around. The night was late, but Sedra knew that the neighborhood was full of Yeerks ready to spy on each other, whether day or night. With that in mind, she was forcing herself to slow down and not make more of scene after Kiejen's noisy exit. Part of her agitation was a direct result of her host--Catherine had gone into an incredibly high stress, mother mode since Kiejen had run off. It was hard not to be affected by it.

The neighborhood street ended at a larger road, and Sedra turned in the direction Luce gave. There were still cars on the road at this hour; Las Vegas had been, and continued to be, a 24/7 city, even under Yeerk rule. A few cars zoomed past, and Sedra had to lean forward and squint to make sure the car wasn't Kiejen's. The yellow streetlights had a tendency to blend together each car's color and model, making one hard to distinguish from the other.

After a some minutes following Luce's thought-speak instructions, Sedra was caught at a stop light. There were a couple other cars with her, each controller turning their faces away from their windows to avoid eye-contact with one another. The Sub-Visser herself completely ignored the other cars, opening the car window on her side to rest her elbow on. The familiar scents of the Las Vegas streets floated inside, a mixture of cooling asphalt, idle car exhaust, and the faint, faint aroma of the desert.

Sedra rested her chin against her palm, staring impatiently out at the tall brick walls to the side, shielding the backyards of some houses. It was beyond annoying to not be able to communicate back with Luce, to be completely unable to ask any questions. To be dependent on someone else's instructions, with something so important. If it had been someone else, anyone else, Sedra would have been unhappy. But, she trusted Luce. And so she waited.


Kiejen
Kiejen stayed mostly to the side roads as he made his way back to his house. He didn't want to be around people right now and most of the side roads were pretty deserted. "What are you doing!?" Kiejen asked himself aloud. He had no response. He refused to let his rationality resurface and tell himself that what he was planning was crazy.

After all he had done for Sedra, she repayed him by messing around with some other yeerk? She probably had an even lower rank than he did! Inexcusable. Sedra was responsible for setting up this whole mess, so she would also have to be responsible for its consequences. Kiejen pulled into his driveway.

It only took a moment for him to reach the door and walk to the room where the kids were sleeping. He didn't even bother turning on the lights as he went over and picked up Sedra's daughter in his arms. She barely even stirred. Then Kiejen nudged her son with his toe. He was sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor.

"Hey, wake up. We gotta go," he whispered. The little boy sat up sleepily.

"Where are we going?" the kid asked, still half asleep.

"To my other place. A cabin. You'll sleep better there." Kiejen didn't have much experience persuading children, but it seemed to work. Although it probably would have been much harder if the kid was fully aware. Nonetheless, he got up and followed Kiejen to his car and fell back asleep before both kids were even buckled in.

Kiejen expected Sedra to show up at any second so he didn't waste any time thinking things over. He put his vehicle into gear and drove away, not even bothering to look back.

[gabriel]

Luce soared through the calm Vegas night as she had so many times before, the owl's wings making no sound as they beat the air. Her large eyes, mostly pupil to allow the light in, scanned the patterns of traffic below her looking for Sedra's car. Intent on following Keijen she'd lost track of Sedra and she was trying to figure out how long it would take her to get to the house Keijen had stopped in front of.

She looked back up to where Keijen's car was parked only to see that it was gone. Her head whipped around, searching the night for the lost vehicle even as she turned to fly in that direction. She had only looked away for a second she was sure of it but he was gone.

<<I lost him,>> she reported, her mental voice tight with barely contained shame and, under that, fear trying to turn into panic. She couldn't remember ever being so afraid in her life and she had been in worse situations than this. But it wasn't her life at risk this time.

Somehow the night had protected her from the realities of this situation. It had rapped a blanket of security around her making it all feel a bit like a dream. A late night visit, an unexpected interruption. Even when Keijen had stormed out she hadn't really felt the danger of it. He was one man, one controller. He would be easily caught.

But now he was gone and the children with him, the children that hadn't really been real until now. Eva was a half remembered dream. Luce hadn't seen her in almost a year except for stolen glances through barrack windows. And Andrew was a relative unknown. But someone how none of that mattered when she realized that she'd let Keijen slip through her fingers.

She flapped, trying to force the owl's body through the air quicker. But like the hawks and eagles of the day, the owl was made for soaring, not endless powered flight. Even taking advantage of her experience in the air, using breezes and faltering, almost non-existent thermals left over from the day's heat didn't get her there very fast. And the distance that the owl's eyes could easily conquer was not so easily crossed.

She landed in the front yard of the house Keijen had stopped in front of, knowing he was long gone and needed to search anyway. She demorphed, ignoring the danger, and rushed to the door only to find it locked. She twisted the handle in frustration before turning away to try her luck at the window.

The grass of the lawn felt good on her bare feet but the same was not true of the dirt littered with small rocks that served as the bed of the bushes under the window. The thin branches of the bushes scratched at her bare arms and legs. She didn't even have to ignore it. She'd experienced much worse so she didn't notice.

She jammed the blade of her knife between the bottom of the storm window and the window's cradle. She was glad she'd had a partially misspent youth and by misspent she meant she'd locked herself out of her own house enough to become adept at breaking in.

She levered the window open against its internal catches and then did the same thing to the screen and the inner window after that. When the window was open enough Luce jammed a stick she snatched from around her feet, having had too many experiences of windows dropping on her when she was half way through.

That taken care of she jumped a bit, pushing herself up with her arms, and squirmed through the opening, dropping to the floor on the other side with as little noise as possible. There was no need for her to try to be quiet. As she got up and made her way to the living room from the dining room the window had led to she saw the empty sleeping bag and scattered blanket on the couch. She walked over and picked up the blanket. It was still slight warm along with the couch beneath it. The children had been here but they were gone now.

She let the blanket drop when she spotted the teddy bear the blanket had concealed. The small toy stared up at her with cheerful, blank eyes. She picked it up, its brown fur soft and silky against her hand.

She turned around when she heard a car pull up outside.

[Aubrey]

<<I lost him,>> Luce's thought-speech came as Sedra was stopped at another red light. Flipping the car's blinker on, Sedra yanked the wheel of the car to the right and pressed her foot down on the gas. The oncoming car screeched in protest as its driver jammed his foot on the break, his car horn sounding with a sharp honk! At the moment, it didn't matter. Luce had lost Kiejen. All the terrible situations were running through Sedra's thoughts, goaded on by Catherine's silent terror. What higher-ups did he know? Which ones were even in town? Where would he take the children? This was the closest she had come to having fear for herself; were he to turn the kids in to the Empire, Sedra would be exposed. Eva would be gone, again. Not that it would matter if Sedra was caught, as she'd most likely be starved.

After being directed a few streets back by Luce, it had become slowly clear where they were heading. Kiejen's home, a small little house that Sedra had granted the controller after he had worked a year or so at Area 51. A good sum of the controllers and scientists working at Area 51 usually slept there--some of the rooms had small bunks that were rotated among the staff, and there was a relatively good-sized Yeerk pool buried in some of the lower levels of the facility. Most employees couldn't afford the time or money for a house in Vegas, but most desired it. Kiejen's house had been a slight favor on her part, something which she regretted now. This was what trust got her.

Sedra's fingers tightened around the steering wheel, knuckles white, and she eased her foot on the brake. She had turned into his neighborhood, and her eyes were scanning driveways and houses. Then she found it. A modest house, its stucco walls painted a dirty white that had been tanned a fair yellow by years of sun. A couple dead bushes and a gnarled, leafless tree hunched over the walkway. No car in sight. Quickly pulling into the driveway, Sedra jerked the car into park and swung open her door, stepping out. Her car hummed idly, still on, exhaust pumping out into the still, cool air of the night.

Glancing around to the two houses neighboring Kiejen's, Sedra called out in a tense whisper, "Luce?" Since saying she had lost him, she hadn't said anything else to Sedra. Approaching the door, she twisted the knob to find it locked. Banging her fist against the wood of the door, Sedra hissed something under her breath. Then she noticed the partially opened window nearby, held precariously up by a stick. Moving to the window, she strained to look inside, leaning forward. "Luce? Let me in."

[gabriel]

Luce looked back the way she'd come and began walking towards the door, forgetting the bear she still held in one hand. She walked through the house, her bare feet hardly making a sound to disturb the silence, the cool of the desert night cutting right through the thin morphing suit. But after spending months here she was used to it and she ignored the chill that only went skin deep.

She opened the door and stuck her head out to see Sedra standing by the window she'd propped open.

"He's gone," she said, stepping back into the house to allow Sedra to enter it and see for herself. Her tone was even as if she was talking about just one more person she'd been asked to track down. But the hand that held the bear in a death grip gave a clue to her true feelings on the subject. But if she was feeling this how must Sedra feel? Catherine? Luce hardly knew the children. So she didn't give voice to her fears and just tried to keep focused on finding them.

"Sedra...who is he? I mean...he didn't seem-if he was just-wouldn't he have gone to the authorities? Why did he have the kids and..." she trailed off, for once too cowardly to ask what she actually wanted to.

[Aubrey]

Sedra's attention was drawn over to the door at the sound of it opening. Luce appeared in the frame, something clutched in her hand. Detaching herself from the window, Sedra slowly headed over to the doorway. Her eyes slid down to the teddy bear in Luce's hands, a spark of recognition flashing in her eyes. It was a teddy bear Sedra had salvaged from her house's storage. The previous--human--owners had a child, and Sedra was constantly finding old relics of their existence.

A slow anger burned in Sedra's eyes, and she said nothing as she brushed lightly past Luce to get inside. There was only one light on, hastily flipped on in Kiejen's rush to get in and out of the house. The house was otherwise dead silent, the walls soaking up the solitary light's yellowish glare. Sedra stared, standing, unsure of what to do now. He could be out of town by now, or knocking down the door of some Sub-Visser. Where the hell could he have gone. If he had hurt Eva, she would kill him. Even if he hadn't hurt her, this was not going to end pleasantly for him. Not if she got her hands on him.

"Sedra...who is he? I mean...he didn't seem-if he was just-wouldn't he have gone to the authorities? Why did he have the kids and..." Sedra turned at the sound of Luce's voice, meeting her gaze with dark blue eyes, silent. The hard line of her mouth softened somewhat, not answering her question immediately. How to explain? It had been what felt like a long time since it had all happened, since Jals had gone missing, since Kiejen had sought to fill that void with Sedra. A faint frown formed on her lips. "A controller. He." There was an awkward pause, then, "He used to work at my facility. We were together for a short time. That is why he brought me flowers and, I suspect, why he ran off after seeing us. I left him with the children because I had no one else to turn to when I went to Chicago."

[gabriel]

"Alright," she answered, turning towards the door and walking outside. She looked up and down the empty street. It didn't feel abandoned nor did it feel asleep. It just felt...watchful. She wondered if it was her imagination or if controllers were actually watching through a small hole created from only pulling back a corner of the curtains. It was probably her imagination. Even controllers needed to sleep.

"So where did he go?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at Sedra. "You know him best." Her voice was expressionless though, for once, she wasn't trying to make it that way. She was just confused about how to feel about this Controller and, without specific instructions, her voice wasn't expressing anything.

[Aubrey]

Sedra tried not to blink at the short response, watching Luce leave the house. Well then. Her gaze scanned along the semi-empty walls of the room, to the hallway that led further into the house, then back to the open doorway. Her internal voice, the voice of her host, was still in the back of her mind. Frightened, panicked. Sedra swept the tips of her fingers through her hair, scouring through her host's memories as well as her own. Where would Kiejen take them? The nearest higher-up would probably be in one of the casinos, gambling or sleeping. But who? Maybe he would just take them to the Yeerk pool, get a more direct line to a Sub-Visser, and rat Sedra out. It didn't seem like him, however.

Coming to settle against the open door's frame, Sedra folded her arms. "Plainly? I don't know," she murmured, the words tasting bitter on her tongue. She prided herself in being resourceful, in knowing how to keep control and stay in control. It irked her to lose that, even if only for a moment. "Maybe to another controller. Someone higher up. Maybe not. I don't know." The last words were spoken again in a tighter tone, and she turned from the doorway. "I'm going to go search his house."

The dining room didn't have much to it; a modest wooden table stood in the middle, flanked by some old wicker chairs and covered with a faded table cloth. Sedra passed the room quickly, heading down the hallway and into the living room. The empty sleeping bag and blanket caused her to pause in her steps, staring.

In the silence, Catherine muttered, <<This is truly your fault, Sedra. You fucked up.>> Sedra inhaled a short breath, jaw clenching, before she turned away.

The living room was sparsely decorated. Above the couch was a painted picture of the ocean, which she tore down and threw to the side. Nothing. Stacked next to the TV were a couple boxes, labels drawn and crossed out in thick black permanent marker. Yanking the top box to the ground, Sedra flipped the lid off and began shifting through the box's insides. There were only work papers, reports, old experiments from Area 51. No hint or clue to anything beyond that. Shoving it aside, Sedra pulled the second box over and opened it.

More reports, but this was different. Pictures of dead and dissected animals, followed by data sheets. Then, more disturbingly, photos of dead and dissected humans. Sedra's lip curled into a frown, her frantic searching slowed. Catherine said something, but Sedra wasn't paying attention. Some of the files were labeled John Hancock. More data sheets and gruesome pictures. The dates were all before Sedra had taken over the facility, when she had sent Kiejen over to Chicago to get away from speculation and temptation back in Las Vegas. And, at the time, to keep track of Tenaj's activities--something of which, to Sedra's knowledge, the other controller had never found out about. Sitting back on her heels, Sedra took in a deep breath. Inside, her host was recoiling in horror, unable to gather something coherent into a sentence.

It was common knowledge that some Yeerks thought it completely necessary to explore every aspect of their conquered hosts. Humans were complicated, fickle things. Any step closer to complete domination was always welcomed by the Empire. But Sedra, of all yeerks, knew that these humans were most likely slaughtered for this. Maybe even just merely sedated. Vivisected. It wouldn't be surprising, especially with the John Hancock Building's reputation in mind, coupled with Tenaj's. Shuffling the papers and pictures back into the box, Sedra guided the box behind the TV and stood up. Unsure of how she felt with this knowledge, she headed towards the adjoining room.

The kitchen was much more cramped than the other rooms. It had a window overlooking the house's small backyard, landscaped with rocks and stone and desert plants. None of the drawers or cabinets held anything unusual. Cereal boxes, unused silverware, pots and pans. Note papers with food lists. Then Sedra's eye caught on something held up by a magnet on the refrigerator. It was a picture of herself, standing impatiently in front of a wooden cabin. There was some snow scattered around on the ground, and thin trees gathered in the background. Mount Charleston. Kiejen's host had owned a cabin in Mt. Charleston, and Kiejen had used it sometimes to go hiking or camping. He'd begged Sedra to come there once, and she'd acceded only to get away from work for the weekend.

Sedra slowly reached out, plucking the picture off the refrigerator. The moment she did, her cell phone vibrated in her back pocket. The number had been given to her employees for absolute emergencies--but usually none of them dared to use it even then. Who would ever want to be the bearer of bad news to a Sub-Visser? Beyond that, it was late for emergencies. Stiffly, Sedra pulled the cell phone out and opened it.

Immediately, a holo-graphic picture popped up. Sedra's jaw clenched, fingers tightening around the cell phone. The picture was Eva and Andrew, huddled together on a couch. Under the picture was some text:

'I haven't gone to the higher-ups, but I will if I have to. Agree to meet me alone so that we can speak about this. Confirm and I'll send you an address.'

Crushing the photograph from the refrigerator in her hand, Sedra hurried back through the house. Luce was still waiting outside, the light from inside tracing her form in the thick darkness of the night. Sedra's dark blue eyes were burning. "He sent me a note. I think I may know where he has gone." As she spoke, Sedra was doing her best to control her expression. Inside, she was seething. She held out the crumpled picture and the cell phone for Luce to see.

[gabriel]

Luce nodded when Sedra said she didn't know. She hadn't expected her to know the exact location, just information about Kiejen, places he frequented, something, anything, a place to start. Luce had been tracking down people who didn't want to be found for a long time. She'd done it for Kas and she'd done it for Cassie. She just needed a place to start and she'd be able to find Kiejen.

Or at least that it what she told herself and what she wanted to believe. She wasn't sure if she could do it this time. It wasn't just another job and this man, this yeerk wasn't running for any reason that she was used to.

She pushed away his reasoning. She had to think of this as a normal job, that was how she'd find him. Searching his house would help and when Sedra suggested it Luce felt guilty for not thinking of it first. She'd let herself get caught up in the situation instead of focusing. "Right," was all she said as Sedra turned back towards the house.

Luce watched her go and then tried to think of a way to be useful. This controller had come right here when he'd left Sedra's house and he hadn't stayed long at all. He had to have had a plan from the moment he'd left. Normally she would think he'd had a plan the whole time but from the look on his face he honestly hadn't been expecting what he'd seen when he walked in.

But that didn't mean he didn't have a plan B, she thought, walking down the front steps of the house as she heard Sedra begin to search behind her. It would make sense for a controller like Kiejen to have some sort of escape plan. He worked for had worked for a sub-visser and who knew who he worked for now. The one thing she'd learned as a controller was that everyone answered to someone and most of the time that someone could kill you if they chose too. Those lower in the ranks lived in fear of their superiors and if Kiejen was moderately intelligent, and he seemed to be, he would have a way to get out if something ever went wrong. The fact that he had the kids was just an unfortunate addition.

Then again, she thought as she headed to the garage, she had to question Kiejen's intelligence if he stole a powerful sub-visser's children, let alone Sedra's children. If she were in his position she would not have done something that was so sure to piss Sedra off. It would only endanger his life.

But maybe it wasn't so stupid, taking the kids. It wouldn't win him any points but if he thought he was beyond that having something to blackmail Sedra with wouldn't hurt.

She opened the garage and went inside, looking for some sort of light. When she found one she began searching the garage. There was not much room in it for cars or any other sorts of vehicles. But there were a lot of boxes out here and when she started going through them she found winter clothes. That wouldn't be too telling if he'd been stationed to Chicago recently but why would the clothes be here instead of there? And the boxes looked like they'd been opened recently and in a rush. Why would he need this clothing right now? And when she kept looking around the garage she found ski gear and even a couple of pairs of skis leaning against the wall in the corner.

Luce wondered where someone could go skiing in the middle of the desert and decided to ask Sedra when she came back out. Even though she'd been here for a while she hadn't learned much about the area. She knew there were mountains that surrounded the valley Las Vegas was located in but she didn't know if there were any ski resorts around here.

Not finding anything else that useful she morphed into her greyhound and headed back outside. She didn't expect to smell much but she was hoping she could at least get the direction his car had gone when it'd driven off. She hadn't seen it when she'd been in owl morph, a mistake she held herself accountable for. If she'd just kept an eye on him they wouldn't be in this situation.

Once she'd determined which direction he'd gone in she demorphed and went to go talk to Sedra only to see her coming back outside the house. Luce took the photograph from Sedra and used the phone's light to look at it. It looked like a cabin of some sort...and there was snow there. "I think you're right," Luce said, turning her attention to the phone and frowning at the message and the picture above it. "I found open boxes of warm weather clothing in the garage," Luce said in a distracted tone as she thought about the message. "But-" the message made no sense. There was no way for him to guarantee that Sedra was telling the truth or that she would come alone and there were no conditions stated. Why would he plan all this just to send a message and set up a meeting that depended on Sedra keeping her word? "Does he trust you?" Luce asked, handing the phone back. "Were you two that close?"

[Aubrey]

Luce confirmed Sedra's suspicion about the location; The 'address' could likely be the cabin up in Mt. Charleston. However, what Kiejen sought to gain from all this was beyond her. Kiejen knew her well enough to understand that there was nothing good to gain from this--he had to realize that. He would. But he wasn't being logical. He wasn't being predictable, like most other yeerks. Sedra knew how to handle other yeerks, that was easy.

There was emotion behind this--emotion driving this. That had to be it. This entire fiasco was far more human than it was yeerk, wasn't it? Emotion was something her race scoffed at. It was below them. It was weakness. It was human.

Sedra closed her eyes, seeing once more the look on Kiejen's face when he had seen the two of them on the couch, when he had realized what was going on. The dawning of first shock, then hurt, then anger. Emotions could be volatile, she knew that. Sedra let her eyes linger on the image on the cellphone of Eva and Andrew, huddled on the couch in terror. Then her dark gaze lifted, settling on Luce as she handed the phone back.

"Does he trust you? Were you two that close?"

Kiejen had been one of many scientists at Area 51 when Sedra had met him. His existence there had gone completely unnoticed by her for several years. There hadn't been any reason to notice him, really. He was one of many faceless yeerks. And at the time, Sedra had been caught up in Jals and everything that had come with that. All the secrecy, the passion, danger, desire, love. The marvel of Evalynn's birth, and the sheer, devoted effort it had taken to hide that. The pure, primal excitement and exhilaration of it all. Then, without a word, Jals had disappeared completely. There had been only shadowy rumors to his whereabouts, but nothing substantial. Nothing that indicated he would return. Sedra had taken it with all the restrained grace and repressed emotion she could muster. No one had suspected anything had occurred.

It had been months later, then, in her old office. Kiejen had come to present some data graphs to her on a clipboard and had taken a step too close into her personal space. Usually, her presence was enough to intimidate most yeerks to keep their distance. But Kiejen was timid in some ways, and bold in others. Her fingers had mistakenly brushed across his hand, and his gaze had jerked up briefly to meet hers. She'd felt his host's pulse quicken beneath her touch, seen the slight dilation of his pupils. There had been a shadow of fear and doubt in his eyes, edged with the tiniest trace of desire.

"Yes," Sedra said simply, answering both questions. Her cell phone sat like a weight in the palm of her hand. The panic from her host was still pumping through her veins, flooding Sedra's concentration. Catherine wanted her to jump into the car and chase after him. It was very hard to contain her host's struggle and keep her tone calm and controlled. "Enough that he didn't shuttle the children off to the nearest higher-up and expose me. At least, not yet. I don't know what he's planning. Or what he thinks he will accomplish by talking to me."

The relationship between them had been uneven. Kiejen had always expected more than Sedra had been willing to give him. However, she hadn't acknowledged it until now. She'd always assumed he'd taken the affair much like she had--as an escape. Nothing that required any deep emotions. The entire time she'd been unthinking and distracted, and in that carelessness there had been consequences she hadn't foreseen. He was a spurned and jealous old flame, clutching at any sinking straws that he could find.

Sedra turned from Luce, walking back to her car with the cell phone in hand. The keys were still in the ignition, and puffs of exhaust rose steadily from the car's tailpipe. Sliding sideways into the driver's seat, facing outwards towards Luce, Sedra stared down at the message he had sent. She was confident in her assumption about the location, but she needed to be absolutely sure--the more time wasted, the worse this situation could get. Besides, it would not bode well to show up on his doorstep and surprise him. He could do anything to the children, especially if he felt threatened. Sedra typed a short, curt message back and sent it.

As she waited for a response, she glanced over at Luce. In the darkness of the night, it was hard to make her out. "There's not much else here. We should get going as fast as we can. Will you be driving with me or flying?" The cell phone buzzed in Sedra's hands, and she glanced down.

She was right. Mount Charleston.