...And Into the Fire

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Liam:
Day 1.


"Hello, Miss." The girl regards him coldly, her jaw set and her arms crossed. For all the world she looks like a child playing hostile leader. Liam laughs to himself, and her face doesn't even twitch. She's good at that, at least, he says inwardly.

<She's going to kill you,> Jack responds, feeling strangely light.

<Maybe.> Liam doesn't seem to care, just his usual jovial tone.

"You won't be the first starvation I've seen," the girl says. He isn't sure if it's supposed to scare him or not--probably. <Oh, but she's a little rough around the edges. Time will take that off. She's still fresh. Still feels the need to gloat over her victory. And want a victory it is, eh, Jackie?>

Liam099 shrugs at her. "Could always be your last though," he retorts, almost playfully. A flicker of exasperation on her features, and then annoyance: as if she's kicking herself for bothering. <Almost like she expected something from me, wasn't it? Like she expected to see something, hmm, unexpected?>

<I wouldn't know,> Jack says back, and is slightly relieved when Liam099 closes his eyes.


Day 2


"How do I know this water isn't poisoned? That you haven't laced it with something?" Of course he's just baiting her. She sets down the water without a word. "You know, this town was no stranger to roofies, back when your people were at the top of the food chain. Rohypnol? Yes, smart girl like you knows what I'm saying. My host here, he knows all about that. Would you like to ask him? I'll sit back for a moment, and he'll be all yours."

The girl, the Asian one--the one that keeps watching him like he's going to transform in front of her--rolls her eyes and turns to leave.

"Isn't he a little old to be one of you? Maybe I'm just going off of urban legends here, but don't you only recruit kids? Teenagers? What's the average age around here? 14?" Obviously they were older than that, but he's making a point. "So what am I gonna be, Grandpa Animorph?"

She turns back to face him, and the look on her face is so comical that he almost wants to laugh--but then she won't answer his question! She knows he's trying to get a rise out of her, and at the same time, she knows she shouldn't answer, but she will anyway! If you can't rub your captors the wrong way, as far as Liam099's concerned, you miss the sole pleasure of being captured.

"We may or may not make him an Animorph. If we don't, he'll be sent to one of the refugee camps." She's searching his face. The message isn't for Liam's sake--it's for Jack's. The information is probably supposed to bolster his spirits.

"Refugee camp?" Liam is all but salivating now, the effort it takes to restrain his laughter actually painful.

"Yes." Her face contorts into a wicked smirk of triumph. "You know, free humans? They do exist." Her sniping tone is too much. It pushes him over the edge, and Liam bursts into laughter; huge, sweeping gales of it. The look of confusion in her eyes that she's trying so desperately for him not to see only adds to the hilarity of it. With a sneer she leaves, and he's once more tied-up and alone in some tiny, cell-like room.

<What, no comment? You don't think this is funny? Not even worth a chuckle?> Nothing. Just silence. <You know, your people have a saying that ignorance is bliss.> Of course Jack knows; Liam099 probably took it from his own head.

<But it's not. Irony is.>

Day 3 -- Present


It was sweltering. Jack's body was pouring out sweat in what seemed like bucket loads. His chair was slick under him, and he was still in the jacket he'd been wearing when they first caught him. His breaths felt like they were coming in gaping heaves.

The vent above him was cooking him with hot air.

Was this some new torture technique? It was the only explanation Liam099 (or Jack, for that matter) could come out with for why anyone would have the heat cranked up full bore in Dallas.

<You won't have to worry about it that much longer,> Jack sneered at Liam.

<Right. And then they get you,> Liam099 replied, still healthy enough to jest. But there was a new edge in his voice.


Fin:
Fin stood leaning against the door to Liam's holding room. He was in running shorts and nothing else, the tight black fabric stretching almost to his knees. One ankle was crossed over the other as he leaned against the door and he was biting a nail in a distracted way. He kept looking down at his hand as if getting his nails to be even was the most important thing in the world. The look on his face was one of carefully crafted boredom. But it wasn't far off from the emotion underneath it.

Fin had pulled this detail too many times in the past couple of days and he didn't much like being cooped up in a room with the cocky prick that they were killing anyway. They could just as easily lock the door and throw away key. Maybe leave a mic in here to hear his lunatic ramblings. But no, they had to watch him.

And now, to top it all off, it was hot. Really hot. Fin's t-shirt lie in a heap at his feet and still sweat trickled down between his shoulder blades.


Liam:
"You know, usually they just wait on the outside. My guards." Liam's head lolled back, resting against the back of the chair. It felt like it took too much energy to keep his head up on its own.

"Think you could help me out of this jacket?" Liam asked, raising his bound hands slightly. "You think you're hot, you know, humans die of dehydration. I haven't had water in a few hours and I'm sweating liters under this damn jacket. So help me out. Help my host out."


Fin:
Fin continued to clean and chew his nails. "Aww Liam, don't sweat it, I like you, I don't mind keeping you company." Fin walked over to the bound controller. "Liam, I think you're forming your very own puddle over here," Fin said with fake sympathy. He walked behind him and crouched down next to his bound hands. "Let me just make sure these are secure eh?"

He reached out and touched Liam's rough fingers and began to acquire him. Just another form to add to Fin's personal DNA bank. Never know when he might need to be Liam or just be someone else.

He stood up and walked back over to the door. "How about I go check the thermostat? It is a little warm in here. Don't go anywhere while I'm gone." He opened the door and stuck his head out. He looked up and down the hall to see if anyone was around who could either relieve him or tell him what was going on.


Liam:
Liam let out a huff of air and then groaned lightly as Fin chattered. God, this kid could talk. He was even cheekier than that damn Asian girl too--at least she pretended to be a professional. The kid walked over, obviously not intent on helping him out of the jacket. Liam just lay there limply.

When Fin stuck his head out, Liam tilted his head back forward. "Hey, maybe you can call out to one of your little club buddies to bring me something to drink." Then, not content that Fin would do the job himself, Liam raised his voice. "HEY! CAN I GET SOME WATER IN HERE? Perrier would be nice, but hell, I'll settle for a Poland Springs! This is rather inhumane you know!" His voice carried from the room into the hallway.


Fin:
"Well if we are getting room service," Fin said over his shoulder, "I'd like some water too please! And some champagne! And caviar! Don't forget the steak, hold the potatoes!" He turned back to Liam. "Shove it Liam, nobody listens to you around here. We don't exactly care if you suffer. Though your host might be another story but I didn't want to take you home in the first place. You're Suji's little lost pet and she's not around."

He sat back against the door and fanned himself with one hand. It really was hot in here and it would probably be cooler outside but Fin enjoyed the inmate's company despite his words. The guy was entertaining to say the least. "So whatchya in for?" he asked conversationally. It was a bit of a foolish question. Liam was here because they were holding him here. But Fin wanted to see how he would answer all the same.


Liam:
Liam leaned his head back. Suji. That was the girl's name. He stored that away for later. He allowed a smile to spread across his mouth. Suji. "What, she your girlfriend? You two have a row over little old me? She's visited a few times, you know. Maybe she enjoys guys being tied up. I'd watch out." He chuckled. It didn't matter if there was a relationship there or not. How many times had he asked her for her name? And she'd refused on every level--as if it would give him power over her somehow. Or maybe she just didn't want a dying Yeerk to be calling her by name.

Either way, it gave him power now. Maybe just a sliver, but it was some, and he'd use it at an opportune moment.

<If you think calling that girl by her name is going to stop her from watching you die, you sure as shit read her wrong,> Jack quipped. He'd been quiet for a while, and Liam arched an eyebrow and allowed his smile to become a smirk. But he didn't respond.

Instead Liam strained against his bounds, trying to find a comfortable way to sit. "Me? Something about false imprisonment, kidnapping, human trafficking... but I'm innocent." Liam 099 snickered inwardly, making sure Jack was listening. But how could he not? "Just waiting on the Court of Appeals to send for me. And I'm gonna let them know that you guards treat your inmates piss poor."


Fin:
Fin smiled at Liam's answer. "Yeah, world's tough everywhere," he answered. "At least there are women in this prison the world's turned into. Not that it much matters to you. Afraid you just have to go without. Especially with your hands tied," Fin said nodding to Liam's bound hands.

Fin picked up his dropped shirt and wiped his face down with it before hanging the piece of white fabric around his neck. "So what's up with you, got something for Suj? That's why you want to know if she's single? Wouldn't set my heart on her," Fin said as if sharing a bit of advice, wingman to friend. "She'd probably just break it and more. Then again you only got, what, a couple of hours? Running out of time. If you're going to make any great confessions of love you won't have another chance."

"Hey!" Fin called through the slightly open door, "I was joking about the champaign but some water really would be nice. Anyone?"


Liam:
Liam continued to let his head lay against the chair back. "Aw, me and her? Nah, nah. She's adorable, but a little young for me," he replied easily. "But hey, if you think I got a shot..." He listened to the rest of Fin's advice. "Heartbreaker, huh?" Liam sucked on his teeth and shrugged--not much, though, given the restraints, which creaked from the effort. "Figured as much. I see her even more often that that big brute--not the one we were hauling, the other one."

The first pang of Kandrona starvation laced through his body, but he didn't flinch. It would only get worse from here... soon he wouldn't be able to hold it in. Soon he'd be screaming and writhing. But not for now.

"For the longest time I thought she was your leader, rather than, what's his name, Ray. The big dope what figured he'd give my host a pep talk, and then let you punks deny us both a very basic demand, like, I don't know, water." There wasn't any real malice or gravity in his tone, just simple storytelling. "But hey, maybe you're writing me off too quick, eh? Like I said, she's been in here quite a few times. And y'know, she was giving me eyes. Like she was looking at a boyfriend what maybe got blown to bits in the takeover."

He leaned forward as much as he could for a moment, tilting his head: "I got a familiar face like that." One half of his mouth turned up in a smirk that was, for all appearances, fairly charming.

Leaning back, he laughed to himself again, and restarted the process of trying to settle, his sweat making the duct tape squeaky. His eyes closed again, and monotonously he asked, "Think she'd go for a pity fuck?"

<I hope your enjoying this,> Jack spat coldly.

<More than you are,> Liam replied calmly.


Fin:
"Nope," Fin answered with absolute certainty. "Suj doesn't show that sort of affection to her fellow humans, doubt she would show it to a dog." Fin held his shirt up in front of him so that he could find the little breast pocket. Once he had he fished around in it and brought out a length of string that was tied into a loop. He wrapped the shirt around his head like an absurd turban and began playing cat's cradle.

"Ever read Cat's Cradle Liam? Guess not. Maybe your host did. It was this really terrible story. But I always remember Bokonoism. I remember how that guy told his followers, plain as day, that his book was lies, right there on the first page. They believed it anyway though. Killed themselves."

Fin said it like a man thinking deep thoughts. Then he broke the illusion. "The world ended in ice in that book. Wish I had ice right now. Fire or ice?" he said looking up at Liam. "World will end in fire or ice? Which do you think?" The question really had no purpose so Fin's voice was light when asking it. Just making conversation.


Liam:
Liam sighed in a 'what can you do?' manner. But another piece of information to tuck away for however--

Pain! Aching! He clenched his jaw but nothing more.

--for however long he was left to hold it. Suji doesn't show that sort of affection to her fellow humans, Liam099 repeated to himself. That was quite a strong statement.

<You really do have a fixation on this girl.>

<Well, she's the one that brought us in, if this kid is telling the truth. Apparently even he assigns responsibility of us to her. So->

<So she's the one you're going to try to smooth talk your way to freedom with? Is that the master plan?> Jack asked, but Liam only chuckled inwardly.

<No. It just means she's the one that gets to know first.>

<Gets to know what,> Jack snapped back, though he knew the answer.

<Gets to know exactly who it is she's saved, of course.>

"C'mon kid. Don't they teach you anything in your human schools? Or did you just not get to the space part of the curriculum before we bulldozed your pissant civilization?" Still the monotonous tone; as if Fin were just boring him now, like a child that asks why the sky is blue. "It starts with fire, and it ends with ice. Something hot kicks dirt into the air, blocks the sun or zaps the atmosphere. Then the world freezes cold in the big empty."

He shifted his weight. The jacket was really starting to get to him now. He even felt a bit faint under the light. "Look. Untie me and I'll make sure two ice cold Cokes are in it for you down at the pool cafe. They've even got ice cream and those stupid little popsicle ditties that are nothing but tubes of sugary juice that you toss 'em in the freeze by the box."


Fin:
"Hmmm. Perhaps you're right. World ends in ice. Guess it depends on which world though doesn't it," Fin said ignoring Liam's bribes of popsicles. "I mean, in the end, it probably ends in darkness. That's how the universe started right? Light was created later. But my world, my world will probably just end in blood. Your's," Fin said looking up, "in pain." There was no satisfaction in his voice, just stating the facts, still having a friendly conversation.

He hadn't really had a chance to do this in the past couple of days. They had all but been given orders not to talk to this creep. Probably worried about giving away sensitive intelligence, in case he found a way to escape. But there would be no escaping now. He'd die and their secrets would die with him, one way or another. The human, he'd either join them or they'd dispose of him. Some wanted to send him to Mexico. Fin himself wasn't too keen on the idea. Not unless they relocated after. The guy could always get caught again.

"How's the starvation? Started yet, it should have," Fin said looking down at his watch. He held out his wrist so that Liam could see the face if he chose too. "Started a little countdown for you when we got back a little while ago. Seems you've been with us for about, oh, 34 hours and 42 minutes. So you only really have an hour or so left until your three days is up and that's if you had just fed before we caught you which we both no isn't true. But I bet that three day thing is a myth isn't it? I mean you guys don't drop dead right at 36 do you? Takes awhile. It takes humans a while to starve too."

Fin stood up and looked down the hallway for a moment. "Still no water Liam. But are you really thirsty for some? You sure it is your host's thirst your feeling? Or your own?"


Liam:
Two pangs this time, sharper than the last, and enough to make the room flare white for a moment. His breath was shallow, and he felt like the binds around him had suddenly constricted a few more inches. "All life begins and ends in pain. The only good thing about your race is that sometimes you see the humor in it all."

His features were slightly more strained now: he was indeed starting to feel it, though how acutely was impossible to tell. "It's not a myth and it's not a hard-and-fast rule, either. It's more like a guideline." He let out a hiss of pain, and which turned into a laugh. "Not to say it isn't as damn close to a rule as a guideline can get." Sweat had matted his hair to his forehead, and slicked it all around his ears.

"And look, kid, I'm pretty sure the circumstances qualify to wanting a bloody drink on my hosts account. So why don't we stop playing 20 questions, and you can call in someone who knows what they're doing when they set off to kill someone. Go get me that girl. Suji."


Fin:
"I'm sure she'll stop by," Fin said watching him cringe slightly. It was the first physical evidence that the starvation had begun to hit. "She can't seem to keep away so maybe you have more of a shot than I gave you cred for," Fin said standing up.

Fin was a bit resentful that this guy was even here, let alone their responsibility. They could have just gone home but no, Suji had wanted to play the super hero. Where here is what playing the hero had gotten them. Now they had to be executioners of some alien slug. Maybe he should go get Suji, let her baby sit her pet controller, but there was an odd fascination in watching something die.

"You know Liam, you're in a church. Want someone to take your confession?" Fin crossed himself and looked up towards the heavens, an angelic look on his face. "I am an ordained priest according to the interwebs so I could help you out. I can marry you too if you have a lucky lady slug in mind."


Liam:
Liam was losing his patience. He couldn't shake this damn kid loose! Another wave of pain, though less sharp and more aching than the last. "You know, most of my other guard detail has waited outside the room. So maybe you're the one that's got some confessions he should be making, eh? Like enjoying the slow death of a helpless creature?"

He shuddered at the last moment in that sentence, making himself look weaker than he wanted. Liam willed Jack's body to be still. <It's not my body that's the problem,> Jack called from inside of him. <It's yours.>

"You go get that girlfriend of yours, and trust me: you're not going to want to miss all the sins I have to repent. They're quite juicy, I assure you." He stared a Fin, not a glare, but rather almost lazily. "And if you don't get her, we're done talking."


Fin:
"Liam you're no fun anymore," Fin said with a wave of his hand. "Alright, I can see you're serious. Want to talk to your girlfriend. Or is she my girlfriend? I'm starting to get confused. I hope we don't have a problem Liam because I don't share." He went over and ruffled the man's hair. He could feel the slight shaking under his hand and the hair was drenched in sweat. It may be hot in here but it wasn't that hot.

After one more impudent smile he turned and walked out the room. Controller's right. Shut up.


Liam:
Finally, the boy left. Liam had a few minutes to shiver and spasm "like a heroin junkie in withdrawal" as his host apparently thought. This was probably the time that the reality of death was meant to sink in. Liam099 though, really Liamot099, had long since come to terms with the reaper. He wasn't supposed to be alive now, and this wasn't his first time experiencing Kandrona starvation. He'd been lucky that other time, if there was such a thing as luck.

He doubted there was a way out of this. But that was okay. Every day of life since that other time, that other brush of death, it was just one day extra past his original expiration date. He just had to be happy with what the universe had given him. And, as Suji walked in, carefully opening the door so as not to spill the water she was carrying, he had to smile.

The universe had given him this, hadn't it? This perfect moment. This perfect audience. Death was but a small price to pay.

Cold comfort, but the only comfort he had.

"Hello. Bit steamy around these parts, isn't it?"

Suji:
Suji set down the water on the small, rickety table in front of the Controller. She noticed the small tweaks and trills that hadn't existed 24 hours ago. Or 12 hours ago. Or 6. Or 3.

Too much time spent in the lair of the dead, she thought absently to herself. He eyed the water greedily, and she wondered when they last drink he'd had had been. She placed the glass where he could reach it. "This one's warm. Gets absorbed faster that way. After that it'll be chilled." Her tone was terse, but even she couldn't kid herself that it was an odd thing to be saying. Especially given the fact that Liam had done nothing but try to get under her skin since he'd regained consciousness three days ago.

"That's very kind of you," he responded with a sickening, knowing grin. He leaned forward and picked up the glass--he could move just enough to drink, and easily drained the glass. Suji watched his Adam's apple bob up and down. He was scruffy, needed a shave. Something he hadn't been able to do in three days.

Why am I thinking this, she looked away, then refilled his glass when he placed it down. She even took the effort to give the pitcher a tiny shake, knocking one of the ice cubes into the glass. He smirked at that, and she pretended not to see it. He nearly gulped that one down in one go too, but towards the end his hands began to shake and tremble. The Controller quickly placed the glass down on the table, probably more to hide his shaking than to avoid spilling the water on himself. He was already soaked with sweat.

And just like Suji had pretended not to see his smirk, she noticed this Yeerk pretended not to know that she saw him shake.

"So," he said, leaning forward against his binding. "That boy that just left, he seems to think you're a pretty cold bitch, huh? But me, I don't think so. I willing to give you credit that there's more."

Liam:
He had her hooked. She probably wouldn't have admitted it, but there were cues. The girl leaned in slightly, her breath halting; hell, even her pupils dilated a bit. Yes, yes, she wanted to hear this. Wanted to hear him tell her what she needed to hear, something about who she was, because apparently she was lost when it came to that subject. It's what she wanted: some mystical truth from a creature soon-to-be beyond the veil.

"Like, for example, he doesn't think you'd help a bloke out and send him on his way proper with a nice good-bye fuck. I, however, think you could be brought around." His serious demeanor changed, his smirk almost a snarl--as if, consigned as he was to dying, part of him couldn't stop from being furious about it. "So what do you say, Suji?"

The words themselves didn't pack the punch: but the name, the name at the end did it. Her eyes widened and she flinched as if he'd slapped her. Suddenly she was up, and going for the door.

"Hey, don't ride the kid too hard about it!" Liam099 called after her with a smirk as she slammed the door behind her.


Sophie:
Sophie had heard about the whole capture that had happened, including the Yeerk they were starving. She hadn't bothered to be anywhere near the room, although a sort of morbid curiosity had struck her. What happened when Yeerks died? What did it look like?

Sophie lifted her head up. <<Okay. Sure.>> After that, Suji left the kitchen quickly. Sophie slowly pulled herself out of her coil, heading towards the kitchen doorway. The warm floor slid beneath her belly, and her head bobbed back and forth and she slithered forward.

After a few minutes she was near the room where they were holding the controller. The door was closed. Flicking her tongue out, Sophie stared at the little space between the door frame and floor. She could taste the small molecules of someone's sweat, but there wasn't much else coming from the room. Curling up against the front, she waited. Hopefully Suji would notice her and not step on her.


Suji:
Suji had a boxcutter in one hand, and a dracon beam in the other. It was set to the second-to-lowest setting, which was strong enough to stun and adult man--especially one in the kind of condition that the Controller was in. She saw Sophie's coiled form, and knew she had a choice.

She had planned on asking Sophie to stand sentry outside, in case she needed quick access to thought-speech. It was using her, but on the same level, she was a nothlit. It wasn't like they shouldn't put her talents to use.

But maybe having her inside would help. Maybe it would remind Suji what she was doing... in case she forgot.

"You can come in if you'd like. Your choice... it might not be very pleasant." With that Suji opened the door, prepared to hold it open for Sophie or not.


Sophie:
Sophie took note of the box cutter and dracon beam in Suji's hands, but didn't say anything about it. Her head tilted upwards to get Suji's face into view--it was a long ways up from the snake's viewpoint all the way down on the ground. After Suji asked if she wanted to join her inside the room, Sophie paused, reluctant.

As curious as she was, there was a difference between wanting to know and actually seeing something like this happen. She'd only heard stories about how Yeerks could be starved, and how painful and terrifying it was. Keeping herself shielded from it didn't feel right, though. If they were going to inflict this kind of pain on something, they should at least know what they were getting into.

<<I'll come in. Might be good to have some venom.>> Her head dropped back down, facing the open door. Now that it was open, she could really sense the heavy presence in this room. She headed inside.


Liam:
His breathing was coming harder now, and he actually had to force himself back to consciousness when he heard the door close again. Opening his eyes, the room swum in bright, painful light for a moment before he saw Suji, and the snake following her. Between that and the two objects she was carrying, his interest was piqued.

"What are these? Three different ways to kill me? Oh! Do I get to choose?" He grinned, his jaw clenching tight against the pain. "I'll have to go with snake. Seems the most exotic of the trio. Do you even know how to fire that thing?" He asked, eyes falling on the dracon gun. It was strange to see it in her hands, even if he'd seen plenty of them in his time.

"As much as you and I would like this to be over as quickly as possible," Suji responded, walking towards him and sliding the dracon gun into the back of her shorts. "I'm not interested in killing your host." <Give it time,> Liam thought with a smile, so that Jack could hear.

"What, you're not enjoying yourself?" He began to laugh but it turned into heaving gasps, and he convulsed against his binds. He was left gulping down air, still sweating profusely.

"I've had better days," she replied neutrally, walking towards him.

"Tell me about it," he said dryly.

She moved behind the chair he was sitting him, and as much as he'd told himself he wouldn't beg, wouldn't break, not being able to see her did make him even less comfortable. There was a tugging sensation, and then suddenly breathing was easier. "Hold still." He did, if only because he didn't have the energy to do anything else.

Seemingly takes pains not to cut him with the outrageously sharp razor, Suji cut away at most of the duct-tape holding him. The girl left his ankles bound to the chair legs, but his chest was no longer restrained to the chair. Then, taking handfuls of his sopping wet jacket, she cut that apart, pulling away the destroyed fabric in a handful of heavy, wet strips. At one point she had to lean in front of him to do it, and he watched her face carefully.

<You could probably take her now,> Jack said. It was factual, not attached to any strong emotion.

<No, I couldn't.> His hands were still bound together, and his lower half was still taped to the chair. Even if he managed to knock her over that didn't mean he'd be able to grab or hold on to the boxcutter, let alone the dracon beam, and even if he did, so what? The snake would be on him before he could fire. Liam099 wasn't stupid.

He wasn't leaving.

She went to straighten, pulling away the last swatch of his jacket. For a moment their eyes locked. Why? was the question on his lips, but it wasn't what came out. "Thank you," he said instead. The girl quickly looked away.

He was going to die in this room.

Suji:
Suji tossed the ruined scraps of jacket in one of the corners. With that gone and some freedom to breath, the Controller already looked more comfortable. She poured him another glass from the pitcher, where the ice was already noticeably smaller. Then she went to the back wall, where they'd been storing some of the extra folding chairs from the Fellowship hall. She walked back, and set it up on the opposite side of the table, all without looking at him.

"So's that the boy from before?" The Controller asked gruffly, jerking his head to Sophie. "You punishing him for telling me your by making him come in as a snake?" Suji shook her head. "Bet you punished him some other way though, huh?"

She couldn't help it. Finally her eyes drifted back up to his.They were a pretty blue, but they weren't really his, were they? Any of that sharp intelligence she thought she saw was nothing but an illusion. Her mind tricking her, the subconscious level unable to tell the different between a human and a Controller. She didn't answer him though, just kept staring at him, feeling lost.

This isn't helping anyone! It'll be over soon, just tie him back up and leave! But that part, the self-survival instinct, was caged somewhere deep inside of her. This was all self-destruction: she needed to understand. Somehow she needed to understand. Her idea, once implemented, had killed hundreds of thousands, if not millions of Yeerks. Millions of creatures just like the one in front of her.

How?

The voice was small and scared but it was clear: how? Why her? How did an average girl go from thinking about scholarships to being the mastermind behind an act of mass murder, warfare or not?

What sane universe had given her that power?

Liam:
She was doing it again. Where her eyes unfixed and she just stared at him. At first he really had thought that it had something to do with having an attractive host. A bunch of teenagers locked up inside a tiny building, with only each other for support? C'mon. But then he'd started to understand: it was hunger, sure, but it wasn't sexual. She was lonely. She was a kid. And, having had three days to watch the assured way she moved, she was a killer too. At least she thought she was.

"Suji," he said, smirking. "I like that. You know, I didn't have a problem telling you my name." He smiled, and then let out a cry of anguish. His body jerked forwards, and then slowly he leaned back, face relaxing from a grimace. "It's tough, isn't it? When the person you're killing knows your name?"

Her eyes shifted back to him, and she was here again, in the room, if only for a moment. Her answer surprised him--he'd been expecting silence, or bravado, or a change of the subject. Instead, she stared straight at him, and replied quietly, "It's tough even when they don't."

Liam099 looked at her for a moment, and then laughed under his breath. It wasn't malevolent, but he couldn't help himself. He hadn't been expecting that, and he had to enjoy those moments. It wouldn't be long before he gave up being surprised for an eternity.

Tilting his head to the side, Liam raised the glass to his mouth and took a long drink. A few times his hands shook so hard that the water splashed down his chin, but for the most part he drank deep. It was cool and divine, and though he knew it was only a temporary respite from what was to come, it was nice to have that jacket off. Setting the glass back down, he let another spasm run its course before he shook his head and looked back up to the girl across from him.

"You like Johnny Cash?"

Suji:
"What?" Suji couldn't stop the question from leaving her mouth. She blinked, and he grinned meanly, mocking her surprise. A moment ago she thought she'd touched something when she'd admitted that killing was never easy--and now he was sneering in her face, back to the Controller that they'd confined in the first place.

Stupid. You probably imagined it. He's a Controller. He's messing with you. What the hell are you looking for?

"You know. Johnny Cash. The man in black? According to my host, it's all they ever fucking played in Texas. I listened to one of the records once; I don't know how your kind thought that wailing was some kind of art."

Suji wanted to stab back at him, wanted to show that she was on top of this, cool, collected, not invested in his answers. Not hanging on every word that came out of his mouth. Not feeling her guts tie into knots every time his back arced like someone had pumped electricity into him. "Really? That's funny. I haven't exactly heard of any Yeerk museums being erected across from the pool. Tell me, what exactly does your race of slugs know about art?"

He smiled a nasty, sneering gesture, a nodded his head towards her. "Point taken," he said with another chuckle, and drank some more water. Suji kept watching his eyes, and though there was that same witty comprehension (not his, not his, you're projecting!) there was also a feverish haze to them.


Drake:
Drake knocked on the door to their holding room. He had a tall glass of water for their prisoner because he figured nobody else would have though of that. For some reason it was stifling hot in the Temple, and mort of the widows would not even open. Their prisoner must be about to keel over in that small room.

One of them for sure, Drake commented to himself. He tried not to think about that part. It was unavoidable.

The reason Drake had knocked was because he saw Suji go in there just as he came into view of the door. It took him a while to catch up due to his extremely full glass of water. Drake tried not to spill a drop, and for the most part succeeded. "Can I come in?" he finally asked aloud.


Suji:
Suji turned when she heard the familiar voice. Looking for Sophie on the floor (she didn't want to accidentally step on her) she noted that the nothlit was far enough from the door that it shouldn't be too much of a concern. "Yeah sure," Suji said, but quickly stood as well--as if she didn't want to be seen sitting across from the Controller. Despite the fact that the chair was obviously there for a reason.

She opened the door to find Drake standing there with a glass of water which was filled to the brim. "Hey," she said quietly, not looking him in the eye. Suji hadn't talked to Ray yet, which she'd told Drake she would a few days ago. But things had come up. Wasn't this evidence enough of that? Still, she wasn't dumb. She knew she was shirking responsibility. But maybe it wasn't so bad, right? Maybe she was just trading it off for this for a while.

And soon enough Liam will be gone, and you'll have nothing else to distract you.

Liam:
"Oh goodie, another visitor," Liam said, and then let out a groan like someone had just sucker-punched him. His chair creaked as his legs strained against the duct tape. "What presents have I got this time?"


Drake:
When the door opened, Drake immediately noticed something was different. It just took him a moment to place it. The guy's jacket was off! And he was partly unbound! Drake was about to say something, but then he noticed the scraps on the floor and realized that Suji was probably the one responsible. Apparently Drake was not the only one who though about the heat's effect on the prisoner.

Speaking of that... "I brought this for him," Drake said to Suji, ignoring everything that came out of the prisoner's mouth. "Although it looks like someone beat me to it." He eyed up the water that was already there.

"So," he leaned in closer so that he could speak quietly. "How much longer do you think before he...?" Drake let his sentence trail off. He figured Suji knew what he was implying. How much longer before the yeerk starved to death?


Suji:
Drake looked minutely alarmed for a moment, before seeing the remains of Liam's jacket in the corner. Suji's eyes widened for a second. Was he going to reprimand her? Would he do it right now? In front of this Controller? But he didn't. Of course. Drake wouldn't. Right?

She was glad it was him, and not Fin. Fin, who'd already said that her judgment was clouded about this. Fin wouldn't have wasted any time in pointing out what was wrong with the picture.

"I-" Suji started, but she was cut off.

"What, you want to know how much longer I'll be sweating buckets in your holding cell?" Liam099 called towards them; it was clear that he wanted to laugh, but he couldn't--he was shaking, barely keeping himself from out-right convulsing. "Not much longer, my good sir. Me and my girl Suji here, we've just been going over which coffin will look best with my funeral flowers. Hey, what's your name, by the way?"

Suji winced, still watching Drake. "I don't think he has a lot of time," she said as quietly as he had. "I've seen it before. It'll... it'll get worse. Much worse. Right before the end."


Sophie:
As Sophie entered behind Suji, she felt the vibrations of the man's talking through the floor. The snake's tongue could taste the individual molecules of the air, could sense the heat laid over the room and smell of sweat emanating from the man in the chair. The room felt thick with it all. The Yeerk must be close to dying, at least that's what Sophie assumed. It'd been long enough, right? To get a better view of the guy's face, Sophie would have to tilt her head up a long ways. So she didn't bother.

Instead, she settled nearby, coiled up. With the snake's impassive eyes, Sophie watched as Suji began to strip off some of the guy's jacket and loosened his bonds. She wondered briefly if that was really a good idea. The Yeerk would be dead soon anyways, and the host would be out of here. It's not like the alien deserved any respite. Although, the last thing they needed would be the host to die of some heat-related thing because of the jacket. After listening for a few minutes to the guy's banter, Sophie spoke mildly. The thought-speak was private to Suji. <<This guy sounds like a pain.>> Reading other people's expression wasn't very easy for Sophie anymore, as she had to look far up from the ground to see. She couldn't tell the effect the guy was having on Suji.

Drake had entered with some more water, and Sophie watched to make sure he wouldn't accidentally step on her.


Drake:
Drake wanted to tell the controller to be quiet and sit still, but he resisted that urge. One reason was because he did not want to start anything with the guy. If Drake did not respond to anything, then nothing would get started between the two of them. That is the tactic Drake had used during each of the few times he entered the room over the last few days. So far it had worked pretty well.

The second reason Drake held his tongue was because it just seemed... rude, somehow. Telling a dying person, or yeerk, to be quiet and sit still was something that Drake viewed as inappropriate. What right did he have to tell someone how to die?

Anyway. Suji said he would probably get worse. Drake did not want to e around for that if he could help it. The guy looked bad enough as it was already. "I guess I will just leave this here then..." Drake said as he set his glass of water down. He turned to leave, but was startled by Sophie. He did not notice her up until this point.

"Whoa! You almost gave me a heart attack there So-" Drake stopped mid-sentence. He had almost said Sophie's name. Apparently they were not doing that? Drake glanced back at their prisoner to see if he noticed.


Suji:
Liam just snickered, and Suji did her best not to wince. "He does the silent treatment better than you, Suji," the Controller sneered. "But really, I just don't think you're applying yourself." His quip was cut short though: he'd been holding the mostly empty glass from before when another convulsion hit. This one was worse, and the chair audibly strained under his twisting body. Though he was obviously biting down screams, small gruff noises make it out of his throat. The glass shattered in his fist as his muscles clenched and cramped.

Glass shards, mostly big chunks of them, scattered. There was an instant stripe of red on the table--blood. He'd not only managed to cut his hand, but he'd driven a piece of glass into the meat of his palm. Breathing hard, he sucked air in through a clenched jaw. When he had control over his (Not his!, Suji quickly interjected in her mind, though it was a weak protest) body again, Liam099 opened up the injured palm.

Painstakingly he removed the shard of glass, barely able to operate his hands due to the duct tape binding them together. He hissed in pain as it withdrew from flesh with a soft squelching sound. Blood welled up out of the wound. That ordeal over, he seemed to survey the mess for a moment, before looking back up at Drake. "Well, good thing I've got 'nother. Thanks for that, mate." He smirked unhappily.

Suji's eyes flicked up to Drake. "Can you find me the First Aid kit? I just... we don't want that to get infected. Hopefully the medicine in it is still good."

"Oh yeah, wouldn't want to fallin' off or nothing-" Liam099 began, but Suji snapped: "Not for your sake!"


Drake:
Drake had no idea what the controller was talking about, but he did not have much time to think about it either. The guy started convulsing and busted his glass. Drake just stood there and stared as he pulled a shard of glass out of his own hand. He did not snap out of it until Suji spoke to him.

"First aid kit. Right." Drake tore his eyes from the scene, then headed out the door. "I will be right back." He took off down the hall wondering where the heck they kept the first aid kit.


Suji:
Watching Drake go, Suji closed the door after him. With the back of her hand she wiped a few beads of sweat from her temple, and re-secured her ponytail. With a bit of a sigh, she turned back to Liam--he was cupping his hand at least, but there was still plenty of blood. It was all over both of his hands up to the wrist since they were bound together.

"Be careful of the glass," she said, looking down at the snake. "I think it's mostly on the table though." With that, she started towards the Controller.

Liam:
"Wait," Liam growled, and it must have surprised the girl, because she stopped mid-step. He leaned sideways to see around the table, and jerked his head to gesture towards his feet. "You're barefoot." Almost all of them walked around like that, from what he'd seen. "I don't know why none of you wear proper shoes, but then again, you also all seem to be particularly fond of spandex." Either there was some use to the uniform, or they found skin-tight clothing to be awfully comfortable. He was going to guess the former. In fact, it wasn't until today, and the heat, that he'd seen any of them without their token costumes. "Let me."

Straining, slowly, he bent down from his sitting position. Reaching his hands forward, he picked up the glass pieces that he could find and reach. That finished, he placed the small, sharp handful on the table.

"I bled on your floor. But blood won't cut the bottom of your foot."

"Why do you care?" She asked, puzzled.

"Maybe I just like seeing the look on your face."

Suji:
Another round of convulsions began, lasting longer than any of the previous ones. Suji could have sworn that she heard his jaw creaking as the molars ground together. Flecks of blood splashed from his clenched hands to midway up his sweat-soaked undershirt. Through the wet cotton fabric, Suji could see his torso twitching and jerking uncontrollably.

Just when she thought that this might be it, the very end, it stopped, and he lay there panting.

It took another moment before he moved his head to look at her. "Your boy coming with that First Aid kit anytime soon? I'm bleeding to death over here."


Sophie:
It was going to happen. At some point, in some place, some person was going to step on her. Sophie was practically counting on it. What could she really do? Wave her non-existent arms around and go 'I'm here!'? So, it wasn't surprising that Drake hadn't seen her upon coming in. It was just another thing, another small needle that stung, that reminded her that she wasn't completely human anymore. No matter how much of a human mind was in here, the body was snake. Small, unnoticeable.

The guy, or more the Yeerk, was convulsing. As the glass shattered in his hands, Sophie sat, unmoving. The snake's hearing wasn't perfect--more attuned to vibrations and such--but she could only imagine the crunching sound of his hands crushing the glass. Internally, she winced. It must have hurt. Even if there was a Yeerk lounging around in the guy's brain, his host would be feeling that too.

Sophie's tongue flicked out. A snake's sense of smell was incredibly refined, and the scent of the controller's blood came on sudden and thick. The snake's mind perked a bit. With the smell of blood came the possibility of a prey that was weak or injured. The thought and smell made Sophie feel a little uncomfortable.

Drake left, and Sophie felt a small swish of air as Suji closed the door. She couldn't really nod effectively to acknowledge Suji's warning so she just said, <<Okay.>>

Her fixed gaze rested back on the controller in the chair, watching him pick the pieces of glass up. What was he doing? Helping? A Yeerk? Why would a Yeerk bother with that, especially one on the edge of death? Ever since Sophie's old boyfriend had attempted to infest her, this whole war had been pretty black and white. Yeerks infested and Animorphs fought. And so, to Sophie, this whole situation was being looked at in the same manner. They murdered, they enslaved, and they were terrible creatures. The Yeerk deserved to die, and he would. Inwardly, Sophie frowned.


Drake:
<<Guys, what's going on!>> Drake heard Fin say as he went down the hall. It took Drake a moment that he was supposed to give an answer. "Looking for a first aid kit," Drake called back, but he was probably too far away by now no matter where, or what, Fin was.

Drake decided to check the bathrooms first. That is where people go to get medical stuff, right? At least that is where they kept first aid supplies at Drake's house. However, this was a church. Churches were not set up the same way as a house. There was a fold-down changing table, but no first aid supplies.

"Where else would it be?" Drake wondered aloud. "The kitchen!" Once again he went out into the hall. This time with a new destination in mind.


Liam:
Suji walked over to the pile of fabric scraps that had been his jacket, and began to use them to wipe up the blood on the floor, and then the table. "How utilitarian of you," Liam quipped, eyes watching her without moving his head or his injured hand very much. She ignored him, but he could see the hard line of her jaw, the furrow in her brow. It was always so clear when the stoic ones started to crack.

"How long have you been doing this?" He tilted his head, but she was still feigning indifference. "Fighting in this war? Of course I use the term war loosely. War implies two at least remotely comparable levels of power-"

"Half a year. Maybe more," she replied curtly, as if to shut him up. But there was still that frantic look in her eyes, the look of someone on the brink. <Maybe you're imagining it,> Jack offered distantly, and Liam099 turned him away, but not before he added: <After all, you're the one that's dying.>

Liam nodded, watched her a moment longer. She was still wiping at the table but she'd gotten most of the blood--well at least until the fresh stuff ran out of his cupped hands. Futile. And she didn't even seem aware that she was doing it. "It's only just now getting to you?"

She looked at him crossly. He tried to smile back in mock sweetness, but a tremor of pain destroyed the gesture. The girl picked up his hands and set them over the Brita filter. His blood quickly mingled with the rest of the water that had been in it--creating little clear pockets where the ice cubes floated. It was pretty strong imagery he figured, but more importantly, she'd knocked herself out of the loop she'd just been in. Maybe she wasn't that broken up.

"This isn't 'getting to me.' You are not getting to me."

"Right. Right." Liam nodded at her. Then he leaned in his seat, so that he could look at the snake that was still curled on the floor not too far away. He looked back at the girl, face puzzled. "Who were you trying to convince?" He rocked his bound hands back towards himself, and then forward to point loosely towards the two of them.

She tossed the bloodied rags back towards the rest of his tattered jacket with a little more force than was necessary.


Aida:
Aida nearly dropped the frying pan in her hands as Drake's voice reverberated through the hall. Closing her eyes for a moment, she settled her rattled nerves and cast the pan aside, letting it sit in the sink for now. Cleaning, that was what she had been doing, but Drake was heading this way, he sounded in need of something. Well maybe I can help... she had felt rather useless lately. Aida had withdrawn herself from her faction once again, just as she had in Vancouver. Back then Matthias had noticed, he'd cared, and now she found herself missing that.

Shaking those thoughts off her eyes focused on the door frame, waiting to see Drake appear. "The kitchen what?" she called out, crossing her arms gently across her chest. Aida took a few steps closer to the door frame, now craning her head around the corner--curiosity getting the better of her for once.


Drake:
Drake slid into the kitchen, hardly taking notice of Aida. He moved right past her and began rummaging quickly through the cupboards. "I am looking for the first aid kit," he said as he searched. "Do you know where it is?"

Drake eyed the dish towels. If he could not find the kit, maybe he would have to settle for those. "Our controller friend in the other room bust a glass of water in his hand. Blood everywhere. He looks like he is getting pretty close to the end though." Drake still was not even looking at Aida as he talked. He was in too big of a hurry for such luxuries.


Aida:
Aida pressed herself to the side of the door frame as Drake slipped by. He was in a rush, and it seemed urgent, that much was apparent by his lack of eye contact, heck he didn't even glance over. Aida felt her back stiffen, the hair on her arms rise a bit when he mentioned a Controller. If anyone had a reason to dislike them...well it was the girl that had been experimented on by them. Fighting back a shudder she bit on her lip a moment and finally responded.

"It's over here," she replied softly, slipping out of the room for a moment. Minutes later she was back, holding a small and rather beaten looking box with a small red cross on the cover. "Here." She handed it over and then stepped back, not bothering to ask and questions, and not really wanting to know. Maybe she'd go outside....do some patrolling....anything to get her mind off what Drake had said.

Controller....friend... she shuddered and slipped out of the room.


Drake:
"Thanks. I probably never would have found it." Drake gave her a smile as he started on his way down the hall again. Hopefully he did not bleed out by now, Drake thought to himself wryly. Took long enough.

"Found it!" Drake announced as he burst into the holding room. Okay, so maybe it was not technically him who had found it, but that was not the point. "But this thing looks kind of old. Hopefully it does not do more harm than good." He held out the box for Suji to take. He just assumed she would be the one administering the treatment for some reason.


Suji:
Suji jumped noticeably when the door suddenly swung open. Hopefully no one would notice--she didn't know how good Sophie's eyesight was (don't kind yourself that she isn't finely attuned to sudden movements, she thought) and maybe Drake hadn't seen it because he was just coming in. No such hope that the Controller hadn't seen it. Suji didn't turn to check and see if he was smirking or not.

Drake held out the kit to her, and Suji took it. "Thank you. Hopefully it'll have useful stuff in it. I think they're made to not go bad for a while, but I've only ever dug around in one maybe once or twice-" Suji quickly halted her rambling, but it was too late.

"Well that's real comforting," the voice behind her drawled.

She hadn't necessarily thought that it would be her doing the bandaging--in fact she kind of hoped that she wouldn't be--but she thought it would look odd if she asked Drake to do it. Especially not since he'd just handed it to her. Would he think that the Controller was getting to her too? Suji's knowledge of first aid was generally just common sense stuff, augmented by tidbits she'd learned from medical and self-care books when she'd still had time and access to books at the beginning of the war (at least its beginning for her). She set the kit down on the table just as the Controller went into another series of fits, twisting and only barely keeping his teeth clenched around shouts of pain. Suji immediately picked up the water filter, not wanting to see it dump a quart or two on the floor.

She set it down on the ground, and quickly put the glass that Drake had brought in next to it. When Liam stopped thrashing and was left panting, Suji gestured towards him. "Hold out your hands." Smirking, but clearly exhausted, he did. Suji popped open the kit: there were a bunch of little packets of stuff (she saw stuff labeled for bee stings and burns) and she skipped over them to pick up the gauze that was stuffed in the back. She dumped some peroxide over where she thought the cut was, and then used some of the guaze to soak up the blood already in his hand. The injury foamed thick white froth as the peroxide reacted with the damaged cells, and she quickly wiped that away too as more blood (slower this time) rushed forward.

She squirted a healthy amount of antibacterial ointment (which was basically industrial-sized Neosporin) onto the cut, then put fresh gauze on it. "Hold this here," she instructed the Controller, who actually laughed for a moment--but did as he was told.

"I could be a real pain in the ass about this, I just want you to know," the Controller smirked, as she went about binding the gauze with medical tape. It was more than a little difficult due to the strange position of his tied wrists.

"Gee, I wonder what that would be like," Suji replied, not bothering to look up from what she was doing.


Drake:
Drake watched Suji start the first aid, but it was not very pleasant to watch. The guy had some pretty nasty cuts on his hand. They would be covered up soon, but Drake was not really helping much anyway, so he decided to leave.

"Well, let me know if you need anything else. I am going to try and open some windows. Again." He looked at Suji, then Sophie, but avoided eye contact with the controller, then turned and headed out the door.


Suji:
“See you,” Suji replied as Drake left. She was still seated across from the Controller, and now that the bandaging was finished, she turned to put any unused supplies back in the First Aid kit. A handful of bandaids fell out, brightly colored and printed with cartoons. They’d obviously been designed for the scraped knees and small hurts of children. She was frozen for a moment, looking down at the rainbow of colors. One of the bandaids had fallen into a tiny spot of blood that she had missed, only several drops wide. It darkened, soaking the liquid, and she couldn’t pull her eyes away as the stuff was wicked across the cheerful pattern.

What had happened to the patrons that used to pray here? The parents who had sent their children off to play in the safety of a communal space? The children themselves? She remembered the mission in Vegas that involved saving some of humanity’s youth. Thinking about that always made her furious, but now, now she just felt sick.

Liam:
Liam 099 watched her: his vision was deteriorating. Or rather, Jack’s sight was fine, but Liam himself was dying—tunnel vision set in as he was able to process less and less information from Jack’s sensory databases. But that was fine. She was close enough that he could still see her, along with the puddle of blood with some bandages lying in it. The pain in his hand was exquisite, sweeter than it was bitter, if only because he knew it wasn’t pain caused by the Kandrona starvation. It was going to be the last thing he felt, and he wouldn’t have given it up if he could.

“Have you seen children?” He didn’t understand her question at first: she wasn’t looking at him, still staring at that turquoise-and-yellow striped bandaid. “Human children?”

Arching an eyebrow, Liam shifted. His entire body (both his and Jack’s, for that matter) ached. “Yes.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

He tilted his head. “Is that really what you wanted to ask?” The gauze had soaked through, nothing but a saturated red sponge now.

“Are there any Yeerk children? I mean, it’s stupid isn’t it? I’ve been fighting in this war for months, and I have no idea how Yeerks reproduce. I don’t know how my enemy repopulates.”

“Well you see,” he started, and she actually looked up at him hopefully, interested. The expression on her face was pure fragility. “When a mommy and a daddy Yeerk love each other very much…” It took her a moment to realize she’d been had, and she quickly looked away.

She took his hand without a word, and began to clean away the blood that had dried to his wrist. He expected that she’d be overly rough after that stunt, but she wasn’t. And then he felt a different sort of pain, which came neither from oncoming death nor his injured palm. It was guilt. For a few moments he sat in silence.

“Yeerk parents must die in order to spawn children. We’re a race of brothers and sisters, but direct twins, are very rare.” Liam found himself saying, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “We don’t get to raise our own young.” It was a strange thing to admit lamenting, but he did. And he would have bet the rest of his life (worthless at that might be) that it was a common thing to regret among the Yeerk population. That regret was only intensified by close relations with humans, whose evolution had deigned to make their children slow in maturation. “Why?”

[Admin]

Suji:
Was he just messing with her again? That’s what this was, right? But his jibes had usually either been straightforward, or quick to follow moments of fake sympathy. Now he was just looking at her open, honestly. Suji carefully set away the childrens’ bandaids, though she was left still holding the one that had been bloodied. She rubbed it between her thumb and forefinger. She’d all but forgotten about the heat—the back of her T-shirt clung between her shoulder blades.

“Why?” He repeated, and Suji looked up at him sharply.

“Why what?” She snapped angrily. “Want to get in a few more one-liners before you shrivel up and die?”

His eyebrows raised, and he actually looked charming, for however wretched he was—ceding her the point with a slight nod of his head. “Afford me some last requests. What does it matter?”

Suji was about to answer harshly, but Liam’s eyes drifted down to her hand on the table. She glanced down, and noticed that it’d curled into a fist. Surprised at herself—she was the one that was supposed to have control, even over stupid subconscious actions—she immediately opened her hand. Crushed into the center of her palm was the blue and yellow bandaid, the splotch of blood marring its joyful coloring.

Sighing, Suji looked to where Sophie was laying. “Sophie, do you mind… waiting outside? I know I called you in here but I think- I think I’d like a moment alone with the Controller.”

The Controller, as it was, didn’t say anything—he just looked mildly surprised.


Sophie:
Sophie had been silent throughout this whole situation, watching with the quiet patience the snake possessed. Quietly, she was wondering what Suji was trying to do exactly with this controller. The Yeerk's host probably needed tending, yes, but, in Sophie's opinion, Suji was taking it a bit overboard. She'd been having an exchange with the Yeerk for awhile now, and it was making Sophie uncomfortable. Even if the slug was going to be dead soon.

Lifting her head a little, Sophie's tongue flicked out. <<Okay. I'll be outside if I'm needed.>> Giving one last look to the controller, Sophie turned her head and slithered across the floor and out the door. Sophie couldn't close the door, so Suji would have to do it if she wanted.


Liam:
The snake must have agreed, because the girl nodded and stood. She went to the door, and after the cobra had exited, Suji shut it gently. Then, very quietly, she made her way back to the seat. Liamot watched her: she paced for a short moment, indecisive, before finally settling down.

Feeling another wave of pain coming on, he tucked his chin to his chest. There was no way to really muffle the groans when you were bound from the torso down. It was bad--the room got darker, and by the time the pain momentarily lessened, it didn't get brighter again. He was long since past feeling the heat. Liam gasped in pain, and when he opened his eyes, the girl was looking at him.

It wasn't a simple look. It wasn't pity, or hate, or curiosity, or even disgust. There was a complexity to it, layer upon layer that shifted so seamlessly that once he tried to pinpoint what she must be thinking, watching him die, the answer was immediately outdated. He wouldn't have traded that weary, somehow soulful gaze for something easy. If he was about to die, he didn't want it to be at the hands of a righteous soldier, nor an empathetic war victim, and especially not some kid who needed a fix for some morbid fascination. This would be a last puzzle, and now with the urgency of death knocking on his door, he had to start fitting the pieces together.

"So," he asked, voice raspy though he hadn't yet started the screaming that he knew this would end in. "Why did you want to know about Yeerk reproduction? Trust me, it's not half so glamorous as the deal evolution cut you lot." The girl smirked, acknowledging his attempt at a joke, but her eyes were unfixed. She was wandering again. Searching him, or just searching. He'd snickered at her for it before, assumed she was just some war-stricken teenager who needed someone to hold her hand, and was foolish enough to look for comfort from a dying enemy.

<That's exactly what she is,> Jack noted impassively. <But you're getting soft on her. The hour draws nigh, and maybe it's taking too much effort to be an asshole. 'Fraid you're going to die lonely and friendless?>

<I've brushed my fingertips against Death's nice, silky-black lingerie before, Jackie. And trust me, she's a lover who couldn't give a flying fuck how many friends you've got.>

<Whatever. You don't have fingertips.> Impatient, Liam shut him out.

When he thought she wouldn't answer, would just stare somberly at him forever, she let out a sigh that sounded like she'd been carrying it around inside of her for years. Instantly his attention refocused. He wished the room wasn't so dark.

"In Las Vegas, I proposed a plan to bomb the Yeerk pool that had been constructed at the Hoover Dam. The faction there had already decided to blow it up, make it somehow non-functionable. But it was my idea to bomb the water itself, too. If we just weakened the structure, it would be possible that rescue teams could rescue some, if not most, of the Yeerks there." Her eyelids flickered. "And I wanted maximum Yeerk casualties with minimum human losses, something we rarely get a chance at."

Suji:
Liam snickered. And chortled. Which turned into a bit of a laugh. Then got louder. It wasn't a mean laugh, somehow--it was as if he really found it hilarious. Suji didn't know what to do; she had expected outrage, some sneering remark, but not this. Then his laughter started twisting, and his body jerked against the duct tape holding him to the chair. He was screaming now, full-throated, and his hands clenched tight, squeezing out fresh spurts of blood. Suji wanted it to stop, but it felt like it was going to go on forever.

Was this it? The last moment? She had both hands palms-down on the table, eyes wide.

Suddenly, it was over. Liam slumped forward. His breathing was in gulps, as if he'd been drowning in his own yelling. Suji didn't know if she was supposed to say anything or not. What could she say?

"You..." he said weakly, laying upper body on the table across from her. His bound wrists were set not far from his face, which was turned to the side. Suji could see just how bloodshot his eyes were, and his hair was so thoroughly soaked that it looked like he might have just flopped out of a pool. When he got his breathing under some semblance of control, he swallowed, and started again, after closing his eyes. "You wanted to ask if there were Yeerk children there. In the dam."

Liam:
The government had been fairly effective--okay, mostly effective--in locking down information about what had happened at the Hoover Dam. That said, well-connected (or well-reasoned) individuals knew that it wasn't just some error in oversight of "faulty human technology" which seemed to be the default story. The government released reports that roughly half a million Yeerks had died that day, which meant it was probably double that number, maybe quadruple it.

And here was Liamot099, sitting across from the girl (could she be older than 20?) that said it had been her idea. Here, in this shitty little room, sweating his ass off, dying. And she was worried that she'd killed some of her enemy's children, even though anyone that could devise a plan like that wasn't just accepting that there would be impossible casualties--they were counting on it. Praying for it on hands and knees.

"...were there children there?" She asked, brow furrowed.

"I don't know," he answered truthfully. "Sometimes grubs are kept in the pool when they've just been assigned, but usually they're kept in orbit, before they know where they're going to be stationed." The table was nice and steady under the side of his face, and he kept his eyes closed--the room spun even in the darkness, but it got worse when he tried to look around. "But that's not what you really want to know, and what you really want to know isn't somethin' I can tell you, love."

Liam listened to the sound of his pulse (but it wasn't his, it was Jack's) pounding in his (Jack's) head. "What you want to know..." A bubble of ripe agony was rising, and he rushed to push the words out, because this could be it, this could be the last rush of hell that drove him over and out. "What you want to know is whether or not it would have made a difference if there were Yeerk babes there. If knowing would have stopped yuua-aaauggh!" His hand gripped the table, fingernails biting minutely into the wood. He wanted to muffle his cries, but there was no way to, and he wasn't sure he'd be able to if he did have full control of his limbs.

There was a gentle pressure on his uncut hand, squeezing. For a moment everything was black, weightless and spinning, except for that light hold on his hand. Slowly, slower than before, he came back. Liam099 opened his eyes to see the girl, Suji, holding his unharmed hand in both of hers. And he saw the way she was looking at him. It wasn't for Jack's sake--she probably knew this wasn't a picnic for him either, if she'd been telling the truth about seeing other starvations before. It was for him. Liam. He squeezed back tentatively.

Suji:
Suji knew that she shouldn't be holding his hand. She wasn't tending to a terminally ill patient. He was dying because she'd given the order to string him along. He was dying because she, along with her faction mates, were killing him. Why did this have to mean anything? It certainly hadn't with Karl's Yeerk, and it hadn't meant anything when she'd boiled thousands of defenseless Yeerks alive. Why now?

Was it because she'd been slipping, reeling from all that Crayak nonsense? Was it because Luce had presented to Suji the possibility that someone otherwise sane could actually feel something for the enemy? Maybe it was just selfish--maybe Suji was using comforting him as a way to feel less guilty about it all.

Guilt. For saving a human. For killing a Yeerk. Suji wished she'd never stepped into this, but here she was. But she could leave, couldn't she? It would be over soon. In fact, she was just about to stand and go when Liam began speaking again.

"Go away from my window... leave at your own chosen speed." Suji looked down at him sharply, but his eyes were closed. Was he hallucinating? "I'm not the one you want, babe." He gulped for breath. "I'm not the one you... need."

He cleared his throat and continued, and that's when Suji realized that he wasn't just saying something. He was trying to sing in his cracked, hoarse voice. "You say you're lookin' for someone, who's never weak but always strong... to protect you and... defend you. Whether you are right or wrong." Liam coughed heavily, his his fingers tightened around her hand.

"Someone to open each and every door..." He convulsed again, yelling into the table. Suji couldn't move. When it was finished, he panted for a moment, and then continued where he'd left off. His voice was strangely melodic, deep, even if it was scratched and battered.

"But it ain't me, babe. No, no, no, it ain't me babe, it ain't me you're lookin' for."

Suji felt her eyes well with tears, but she wouldn't cry. She wasn't ready to cry for a dying Yeerk. Not yet.


Liam:
Liam panted and gasped, it was coming to a close now. It might last as long as another hour, but his control wasn't going to hold out any longer than 15 more minutes. What came after that would be pain so blinding that he wouldn't even know where he was--maybe not even who he was. That's what he remembered from before. His breath rattled in his chest, and he swallowed thickly, his mouth swollen.

"You want to hear something a bit strange?" He asked her, without opening his eyes or lifting his head from the table. A puff of heat fogged the laminated surface.

"What's that?" She asked, and her hand twitched minutely in his. She was nervous; maybe more nervous than he was. After all, it would be over for him soon. Her? She'd have to live in this world for some indefinite period longer. Probably do many more horrible things. Live with those too.

"I like you. I didn't expect to." Her hand tensed further--though she tried to stave off the involuntary constriction, her control was fading. Liam099 wished it didn't have to be this way; but he was certain that that was the lot of just about every soul in this war, whether they were Yeerk or human. He rubbed his calloused thumb over the back of her hand. Sight was gone to him now. Hearing would be next. Finally, only touch would be left. The girl didn't answer him, though she might have tried. There was a small, strangled noise that came from her, but no words.

"I'm sorry," Liam said, sighing deeply. Truly, he was.

"I'm sorry too." Her reply was heavy with regret, and also with defeat. She meant the war, she meant killing his people, she meant killing him. Liamot smiled weakly, sadly, against the table. Summoning the last bit of his strength and sanity against the oncoming throes of agony, he shook his head slightly.

"No. I'm sorry about that too, everyone's sorry 'bout that. But I'm sorry for what I've got to tell you now."


Suji:
Suji felt her stomach drop. What he had to tell her now? She wanted to brace herself, wanted to prepare, but it was as if she'd been rubbed raw. The dreams had eaten away at her defenses, and just when it seemed that she might be getting back on her feet with a successful mission, Liam had landed in their laps. You brought him here, she reminded herself. Yes, yes she had. But if she'd realized, if she'd known--

Known what? That they're people? Sentient? You already knew that. You just didn't anticipate caring. Didn't anticipate how anxious you were to understand what Luce understood--and sure as shit didn't realize that understanding was going to make your life WORSE not BETTER.

"You need to listen to me, and you need to believe me. I'm not-" He trembled, and his grip on her hand tightened. "I'm not fucking around now, y'see? Not pulling y-your chain." Then, for the first time in a while, he opened his eyes. They stared up at her, searching, and she realized that he couldn't really see her. If he did, it was only barely. It was the blank, sweeping movements of a blind man.

"I understand," Suji said, low and quick. She bent closer to him, so that he wouldn't have to strain his voice to be heard.

"My host. My host is named Jack Day." He said this as if it would mean something to her. When she was silent, he sighed, and it sounded like it pained him. "You don't know who Day is."

"No. Should I?" Suji felt uncomfortable. They were talking about the host like he wasn't in the room, and Liam was using Jack Day's mouth to do it. Why this sudden shift? What was going on?

"Yes. Goddamn yes. Suji-" He suddenly pulled her closer still, with an impossible amount of strength. Suji was abruptly reminded that Jack Day--the body (the HOST, not the body!)--wasn't dying. Liam was. Her torso was half-lying on the table now. "-do you know what a Shepherd is?"

Suji blinked. Jack's grip was tight and clammy and she could feel the heat rising off of his skin. "Liam, I don't know what this is about, let me go-"

"Jesus-FUCK girl, don't they tell you fuckin' kids ANYTHING?!" Following the heels of his outburst the Controller wrenched, and the table skidded slightly across the floor as she was dragged a few inches with it. He twisted and groaned until forcing himself still again. Through gritted teeth he continued: "A Shepherd is your worst fucking enemy, Animorph. It's a fellow who'd rather sell out his own race than be a slave himself, who trades fresh bodies for trinkets and-and-and fucking- augh!- SODA POP!"

He released her suddenly and Suji stumbled back, falling into her chair. She clutched her hand to her chest--her wrist was probably sprained. Her eyes were wide in fear and surprise, but she still had no idea what he was talking about. Shepherds? Someone selling their race?

There was something here, big, terrifying, and she was too focused on this moment, too focused on this Controller, to see it yet.

"Liam, I still don't-"

"He collects free humans, love. He corals them up like sheep, and brings them home to the slaughterhouse. Only instead of a hammer to the brain, they get a slimy little fucker like me instead."

"You mean that you-"

"Not me. No. Him. Jack-fucking-Day. And he was good enough to earn a pretty strong rep for it. You should ask that big fellow we were carting in before. He's probably heard the name, if he's ever been around any other freebies." Jack glared at her, but it was still unseeing, more for her benefit than his. "You let h-" The syllable turned into a hiss of pain. "You let him go once I'm dead, and he will screw you six ways from Sunday."

Suji was paralyzed. It was too much. Too much. "How do I know this isn't some trick?" The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could even prep them. In her gut she didn't think he was lying, but... but he had to be. That was too terrible. Too terrible in too many ways. How could anyone do that?

You know damn well that there are people in the world who would.

No... no the real crisis was in believing Liam. Because if she killed him to save some Yeerk payroll headhunter... Suddenly she was a murderer and not even with any justification left to back her up. She'd been wobbling around like an injured colt lately, and this wasn't going to leave her a leg to stand on.

Liam just stared at her, and then laughed. It was an unpleasant, hysterical laugh, and shortly before the end it became a series of screams. "It ain't me babe! It ain't me you're looking for!" He shouted, and then laughed so hard he coughed. The table shook.

"I can't know that you're telling me the truth!" Suji shouted at him, as if that somehow meant he'd be able to give her 110% certainty--a certainty she did not want. But even as she said it, she knew. It was right there in front of her, perfect in its simplicity, beautiful in its capability. Suji was spinning wild, lost, and then here, here, was a solution. THE solution.

Her mind snapped shut around it like a steel bear trap, and she pushed herself away from the table and walked to the door. There she opened it far enough to spot Sophie.

"Sophie, I need you to send a message for me." Suji quickly made the calculations in her head. "Tell Drake to keep people down by the furnace if that's where he is, or at least to keep them away from this room. And call Aubrey up for me. Tell her she can walk in. Thank you." That done, Suji shut the door again.

Liam was chattering to himself now, intermingled with screams. Sometimes they just sounded pained, other times they were shrieks of terror. Without warning they would drop back into nearly incoherent babbling. Suji went back to the table.


Sophie:
Sophie was waiting, coiled patiently outside the doorway. She'd listened to the conversation silently before she had left the room. Hearing about how Yeerks reproduced had been strange. Truthfully, she hadn't even thought past that the Yeerks were anything besides faceless invaders, some extraterrestrial beings that came from far away to plague the human race like monsters. And that wasn't far from the truth in Sophie's mind.

The door opened a little, and Sophie instinctively looked upwards. It was probably one of the most frustrating thing about being trapped as a snake--she was always being looked down at. She couldn't look anyone in the face or eyes when speaking to them. It drove her crazy sometimes. <<Alright I'll tell them.>> If Sophie had a problem with Suji practically using her as a walkie-talkie, it didn't show in her tone or words.

<<Drake?>> Sophie wasn't sure how far thought-speak could travel, so she was hoping Drake could hear her. <<Suji's asking that you keep people downstairs, away from the room.>>

Sophie hesitated. Aubrey and her hadn't spoken a word between each other since she had arrived. It almost felt like some undeclared acknowledgment that Aubrey didn't want Sophie to even try. It made Sophie angry. Friendships can't be built or repaired on in silence--and so she had to assume that Aubrey didn't want them to be friends anymore.

<<Aubrey. Suji asked me to tell you to come up here into the room. Just walk in.>> She was trying to say it in as small of words as she could manage, and at the same time make sure Aubrey knew it wasn't her asking.

Aubrey:
<<Aubrey. Suji asked me to tell you to come up here into the room. Just walk in.>>

Aubrey's fingers were sliding across the smooth surface of the furnace when Sophie's thought-speak filled her head. In surprise she made a sort of coughing noise, pulling back from the furnace. Hearing Sophie talk had made her heart twist a little. By now it was pretty obvious that Aubrey was avoiding her. She didn't know how else to deal with what had happened in L.A., in that studio. Or with the fact that Sophie was a snake nothlit. It was easier to not deal with something like that, for her. She knew Sophie must hate her by now. Maybe at some point Aubrey would be able to look at her, to face her and speak to her. Maybe not. It seemed like Sophie didn't want to talk to her anyways.

"Wellll, I think I'm going to leave the fixing to you guys. I have no clue what I'm doing with this thing." There was some dust on her hands from the furnace, and Aubrey wiped her hands together. "Good luck."

She headed up the stairway, bracing her hand against the side of the wall as support. The air upstairs was still as hot as ever, and Aubrey was glad to be only wearing her morphing suit. Heading down the hallway, she could hear the faint sounds of screaming coming from the room. The sound made her feel uneasy. It was strange knowing that just beyond this door, some alien was in its last death throes.

Sitting in front of the doorway was a snake. Sophie. The creature didn't even lift up its head at Aubrey's approach, or look in her direction. She was a little grateful for that, yet somehow it only made her feel worse. Stopping at the doorway, Aubrey lifted her hand to grab the doorknob, but paused. Looking down, she took in what was now her best friend's permanent body. Black, coiled on the floor.

Wiping the back of her hand against her forehead, Aubrey swallowed a little. She hadn't exactly seen Sophie, since she'd come here from Los Angeles. But she remembered back when they had been there, when Sophie had been excited to get the morph. Even further back, she remembered Sophie owning a snake. Aubrey had come over to Sophie's house to hang out for the first time, and Sophie had taken the snake out to show her. She remembered the excitement on her face.

Biting her lip, Aubrey placed her hand on the door's handle. Her eyes were fixed on the door, but she stood unmoving for a moment. Then she glanced downwards and said in a level voice, "Thanks. Sophie." Twisting the doorknob, she slipped inside the room before Sophie could react.


Liam:
"You have to believe me!" Liam yelled, voice breaking. "You have to believe me! I'm trying to protect you! I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, b-but you wouldn't have BELIEVED me-" They wouldn't have. They would have laughed at him. And he was. He WAS trying to help them.

That's not how it started, he thought to himself. When it started it had been about screwing them over. About showing them that in war the good guys and the bad guys had this terrible tendency to filter across the sides. He was surprised to find that they already understood that this wasn't good-versus-evil. Now though, now it was about helping. Because no one deserved to have Jackie loosed on them, especially unwittingly. Liamot099 didn't deserve it when he'd been forced to take Day as a host; maybe he hadn't done the things that Day had as a Shepherd, but every day he had to live with them all the same.

The girl came back to the table, and placed a hand on his head. He could feel her palm on his forehead, her fingers blessedly cool. He did his best to quiet down, though his breathing was caught between a whistle and a whine.

"Put your head down," she instructed him, and he did, setting his head back on the table. Her voice had changed. Maybe before he would be able to tell what that meant. She'd been unsure before--now, now she was directing him. He would have resented it... wouldn't he? Not now. Not now.

Now he was glad to listen.

"Does it hurt very much?" She asked, and the tone of her voice was controlled, even. Easy to listen to. Of course it hurt! But he wasn't angry. Couldn't even be snide. The pain was too much. He nodded. "I think I can help. A little."

"H-how?"

"I'll put you in that jug of water. The ice is gone, but it should be cold. Would that be any better?"

"I'm not gonna fi-fit in-" Him. As in him. Yes. Yes he wanted to do that. Wanted to be surrounded by liquid, return to the pool, not encased by tissue and muscle and bone and brain- "Please."

He tilted his head so that it was resting on his chin. This was it. The final exit. The curtain call. When he left there would be blackness.

He was ready. He was. Fuck this world. Liam gathered up the memory he held dearest in his entire life--the memory of what ended up indirectly landing him here--and savored it a little. Then, he used Liam's mouth for the last time: there would be no more talking, no more schmoozing, no more screaming once he was out.

"See you in another life, love. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it's a better place than this."

Suji:
Suji watched as Liam began to crawl out of Jack Day's head. Her emotions were running hot, explosive, confused, but she had them locked away. Seeing a slug push its way out of a human ear was grotesque, but she'd seen plenty of rather disgusting looking morphing. This wasn't as bad as watching a skeletal tail pop out of one of her friends, only to be coated with sinew and muscle seconds after the fact.

Then it was done, he was out. The Yeerk, Liam, was quivering and twitching on the table. Suji had to guess it was from the starvation. There was a click behind her as the door opened; Aubrey must have been coming in. Just then she saw Jack Day lunge for Liam--to smash him, to kill him.

But Suji was faster. She'd been prepared. He reached forward with his bound hands, but before he could move more than a few inches Suji had already picked up the dracon gun next to her and fired twice. Both shots hit him square in the chest. They were set to stun... but one shot probably would have done the job. As it was, his body went instantly slack. For a moment his chair rocked back, but it righted itself instead of toppling.

She turned towards Aubrey, and held the dracon gun out to her, butt first. "It's on stun. I need you to trust me with something, Aubrey."

Suji's jaw was set, and there was a cold fire in her eyes, somehow frantic and calculated at once, like a mad scientist rushing through an equation while her brain was alive and buzzing.


Aubrey:
Aubrey turned her head from the doorway long enough to see Suji shoot the man in the chest as he lunged. A gasp forced its way from her throat, and she pressed her back against the closed door in surprise. After a few seconds of sharp breathing, she realized the gun had only been on stun. There was no blood or gore. Aubrey let out a small huff of air and mumbled, "Scared me."

When Suji offered the dracon beam, Aubrey was busy staring at Jack. Then her gaze fell on the Yeerk, helpless on the table. If the Yeerk was already out, what was the guy doing still tied up? And for that matter, why was Suji shooting at him?

Lifting her gaze to Suji, she hesitated before taking the dracon beam. What was going on? The Yeerk was dead, right? She didn't even know what a dead Yeerk would look like. Aubrey reached forward and took the dracon beam, both hands curling around it. The look in Suji's eyes was something new for Aubrey; She hadn't seen that sort of determination or coldness to them before. A sort of weak smile spread across her face. "Sure. What is it?"


Suji:
Suji glanced up and down at Aubrey. Drake had the authority to keep people away from the door if necessary, and keeping him out also meant for a few moments, Suji had jurisdiction over what went on in here... as far as she was concerned. Suji couldn't even feel guilty for scaring Aubrey, though it was clear that she'd startled her at least. If she stopped to feel guilty for that, then all the other guilt would start pouring in. Aubrey took the dracon beam, and accepted. That was what was important.

"I have reason to suspect that Jack Day," at this, Suji gestured to the unconscious man, "is a danger to us. That's what Lia- the Controller said. I don't generally take stock in what they have to say-" Suji didn't add that she had trusted Liam immediately, but just needed to prove him right, "-but I can't take the chance that he's right."

She faced the table, and carefully, gently, picked Liam up. She wouldn't have called it a pulse, but he was still moving. Not much: his skin seemed to be shedding, only she thought that it probably wasn't being replaced by a fresh layer underneath. She'd been told--though she'd never really had the chance to test the theory--that when you acquired a creature, it put the thing into a trance-like, peaceful state. Suji hoped that meant acquiring Liam would offer him at least a little reprieve from the pain.

She closed her eyes and did it: maybe she was imagining things, but for a moment it did seem that Liam's quivering stilled. Just as carefully as she'd picked him up, Suji placed him inside the remaining water in the Brita Filter. "Another life, a better place," Suji murmured, setting the jug of water aside on the floor so that it couldn't be knocked off the table.

Turning back to Aubrey, she looked the other girl in the eyes. "I'm going to morph a Yeerk. There is no other way to know for sure--you understand me, right? I have to know- we, we have to know, as a faction, that this man isn't going to hurt us." Suji swallowed. "I need someone to put me near his ear, and to stay here for when I need to leave so that he can't kill me, if he wakes up." Suji searched Aubrey's face. "If you don't want to do this, I won't blame you, and I certainly won't make you."


Aubrey:
Aubrey glanced back over at Jack when Suji motioned towards him, listening to her explain what was going on. Aubrey hadn't spent any time at all in this room since they had picked the guy up, not really wanting to stick around and watch the slimy thing in his head die. It looked like quite a lot had been going on in here for the three days he had been locked up; There was blood and glass around, and a first-aid kit nearby. Not to mention the jugs of water.

She hid a grimace when Suji picked up the dying Yeerk. The only other time Aubrey had actually seen a Yeerk was when she had first been recruited in the Los Angeles faction. One of the members had suggested using their resident nothlit Yeerk to figure out whether Aubrey was a controller or not.

Being the person she is, Aubrey had been willing enough to prove her innocence by letting the Animorph nothlit infest her. Enough so that she had put the Yeerk up to her ear and waited. They had eventually decided against it, but she still remembered how it felt to hold the Yeerk in her hand--remembered the mixture of disgust and fascination. How could something so small, so helpless and blind, cause so much chaos? Aubrey's gaze followed Suji's movements, watching her put the Yeerk into the pitcher.

Then, straightening up, she met Suji's eyes as she spoke. The reaction on her face was pretty obvious--she was disgusted by the idea. "You want.. you want to infest him?" She felt her stomach tighten and her gaze flickered over to the unconscious man briefly, before returning to Suji. Doing that to someone was so invasive, so personal, so wrong. Yeerks did that. Yeerks invaded people's bodies.

"Are you sure.. this is the only way?" Even as she said that, she knew there weren't many other options. Aubrey bit her lip, eyes scanning Suji's face. There was plain trust in Aubrey's gaze, even if there were hints of doubt lingering in her expression. If it hadn't been obvious before, it would be now. Aubrey looked up to her--and if Suji felt this guy was enough of a threat, then Aubrey would help her.

Her chest lifted as she took a breath, her expression still light. Before she spoke, she swallowed dryly. She didn't have a good feeling about doing this at all; They weren't here to infest people. To take away their will, like the enemy. But Aubrey was the last person to want her inaction to cause some sort of catastrophe to their faction. She'd done enough damage--in her mind, at least--to her last faction as it was. "Okay, well. I'll help you."


Suji:
There was a glimmer of shame and guilt that Suji deflected. She needed her armor now, and guilt was the type of thing that found all the chinks in one's well-laid defenses. "I don't want to infest him," Suji replied. Her tone was controlled, even, but she felt a brief spike of anger, indignation underneath. "I want to protect us. I like my body just fine, I'm not shopping around for another."

Aubrey asked her if it was the only way, and Suji didn't say anything. Instead, she gave Aubrey a moment to try to think of any alternatives. There weren't any, of course: certainly none so simple or so definitive. But Aubrey wasn't dumb, and Suji didn't think she was. She'd see. She'd understand.

Any of them would. They might not want to be the ones involved when it happened, but they'd understand. It was the same as it was with starving Liam in the first place, wasn't it? Almost everyone had done guard detail, and everyone seemed to realize that this was a necessary part of war: killing the enemy, especially if it meant saving a human. But almost no one came inside. They didn't want to get their hands dirty. Suji... Suji was willing to get her hands dirty. Her mind was on fire.

Aubrey agreed. That was good. The girl could see reason. That's what this was about. Reason. The best possible solution. The only viable solution. "Aubrey..." Suji began, and took a small breath. Though it had seemed like the clarity of her mind had a vice grip on her thoughts, her words came out softer... as if a smaller part of her, locked out by the cold calculations, could only voice itself here.

"The Controller said that his host used to capture free humans in order to buy off his freedom from the Yeerk government. He could be lying. I hope he is. But the only other way to know if that is true or not might be physical torture, and even that isn't a guarantee." She paused. "This is better. I would never do this if I didn't... if I didn't think that it was necessary."

But even as Suji said it, she saw the cogs spinning, felt the slope she was standing on getting more and more slippery. Necessary was a fickle thing. She pushed that away. Her judgment was sound. This made sense. No room for second guessing. People depended on her.

"I'm going to start morphing now," she declared, and then closed her eyes. She took a couple steps back from Aubrey so that she wouldn't topple into her or anything, and turned around... just in case her face melted away first or something. Suji felt the world rushing up to meet her as she morphed. This wasn't a philosophical dilemma: she was literally becoming her enemy.


Aubrey:
There was a small frown on her face, showing mostly in her eyes. "Right, right. I understand it Suji." If Suji wanted to think of it that way, fine. Protecting or not, she was still invading someone else's head. Going into places that no one had a right to go.

The expression on Aubrey's face was troubled. Apparently there was more to the story. She bit her lip harder, feeling a spark of anger pass through her at what she was hearing. She couldn't believe someone would stoop so low as to sell out their own species, just to save themselves from the very slavery they were forcing others into.

"The Yeerk said this...?" Aubrey said quietly. A part of her didn't want to believe it, if it had been the Yeerk. She rubbed the palms of her hands against her face, closing her eyes briefly. "Geez." She didn't think physical torture worked anyways. People would admit to anything, given that their torture would stop. This was better, wasn't it?

If the Yeerk wasn't lying, this guy could be dangerous to them. Above that, however, Aubrey wanted to trust that Suji knew what she was doing. This felt like it was the only way to make sure they weren't wrong, weren't harboring some dangerous person that could screw them over.

"Alright.." Aubrey said, nodding before turning her face away from the morphing. It was never pleasant to watch, and something told her that watching someone becoming a Yeerk would be just as unpleasant--if not more. She waited.


Suji:
It felt like her limbs were sloughing off somehow. Her arms disappeared, absorbing into her torso. Like becoming a snake, Suji thought, trying to settle the nerves that threatened to rush up against the steeled center of her mind. Only it wasn't like becoming a snake. It wasn't like the cobra. Maybe some of the basic mechanics were, but in the end, she wasn't going to be some leg-less Earth animal. She was turning into the species that enslaved the human race.

Then she was going to infest another human. Rape. That's basically what it was. Worse even. At least with rape a person had a chance to retreat somewhere in their head. But he wouldn't have that option, would he? Jack Day? No sir.

There's no other way, Suji snarled inwardly, still shrinking. Her eyes disappeared and she was plunged into darkness. I have to do this. If I don't, that means shirking it off on someone else. Or worse, it means pretending that I didn't hear Liam or think he was telling the truth about this guy. I can't do that. I can't put them all in danger.

-So you'll become a rapist, a slaver, the enemy for them? Are they worth it? Is anything?

Suji was stuck. Her morphing had halted. She knew she wasn't yet fully a Yeerk, but she was as blind as one. Her legs were stumps and she'd fallen on her side. She was maybe three feet long. Nubby antennae protruded from her temples, though the sensory organs used for reading stimuli with them hadn't developed yet.

Come on. Come on! She pictured the slug-like body, but her mind kept shutting down. Again and again she returned to that question: was this worth it? She'd already been a conspirator in the deaths of thousands and thousands of Yeerks. Of people--people--like Liam. Like her. Like Aubrey. How much more of her soul could she stand to carve out and sell off? And for what... another inch of victory? Some small pittance of security?

If I don't do it, someone else will have to, Suji tried to reign her mind back in. This isn't the time for self-pity.

-It's not about pitying yourself, another part of her, some unfamiliar voice, argued. The reality is that you give and you give and you give your morality away because you think it means no one else will have to. The voice turned colder, more like her own, except ashamed rather than self-loathing. And as true as that might be, you use it as an excuse to hide an uglier truth underneath. You wish your morality was gone.

Suji couldn't deal with this right now. She was helpless, blind, disgusting, caught between herself and whatever the fuck she was supposed to be becoming. For months now she'd been trying to outrun the devil, and just when she'd thought she'd lost sight of him, here he was again, biting at her heels. It's what she deserved for letting down her guard in Dallas. It's what she deserved for thinking she could seal away the past.

So now.

Now, she had to give a little to get what she wanted. She'd let her better nature, her conscience, whatever it was, stick the knife in: but she sure wasn't going to let it twist the handle.

<<I do,>> Suji thought 'quietly', unaware that it was aloud. <<I do wish that.>>

Her insides went still, her mind, which had been chugging right along, clanked to an abrupt stop. The stakes were high. What did concession mean? It wasn't exactly like she'd tried it before.

But that doesn't change the fact that I'm doing this. So fuck off.

The mental equivalent of slamming shut a heavy door and deadbolting it, Suji closed herself against the self doubt. She refocused on morphing: now she didn't just try to picture a Yeerk.

Suji could feel the warmth of the pool baked hot with Kandrona rays. A low thrum of bodies upon bodies. The squeeze of pushing through an ear canal: delicate and also forceful. The electric touch of sensing another organism's brain, of being there, at the helm, at the apex-

It was done. She felt exposed, somehow even a bit chilly on the floor despite the heat of the Temple.

<<I'm ready Aubrey.>>


Aubrey:
Even though Aubrey was turned away from the sight, she closed her eyes. Behind her, she could hear the gurgling and disgusting noises that usually came along with morphing into something--morphing into a Yeerk. The enemy. Aubrey bit her lip, feeling her shoulders tensing. With Stevert, it had been different. He had been an Animorph, but Aubrey had also been willing to do it at the time. Was Jack? They were digging through the mind of another human being on the word of a Yeerk. It was for safety, on the chance that this guy would bring harm to the faction. It made sense, but that didn't stop the uneasiness from settling in her stomach.

<<I do. I do wish that.>>

Aubrey's eyes slid open at Suji's thought-speech. The words had been quiet, so quiet she wasn't sure she had heard them at first. Her first thought was that Suji was talking to her, but that didn't make sense. Had someone said something to Suji? After she didn't say anything more, Aubrey shrugged it off. She wasn't sure whether or not Suji would hear her if she spoke anyways.

In the corner of her eye, she could see Jack tied to the chair, still unconscious. Aubrey turned her gaze to another corner of the room. She didn't want to see Jack right now. She didn't want to think about Suji as a Yeerk squeezing through the man's ear, wrapping around his brain. It was easier to place him on the other side of things when he was a controller. Now that he was human, now that he had no Yeerk in his head, it was harder to ignore it.

<<I'm ready Aubrey.>>

Aubrey took in a slow breath and turned around. Glancing down, she spotted a Yeerk on the floor. Suji. Taking a step forward, Aubrey bent down and scooped the gray-green slug up in both of her hands. Her lip curled up in disgust. It was the second time she'd held a Yeerk in her hand, and it was still gross. At the same time, it was easy to see how strangely fragile they were in their natural state.

Aubrey's eyes fell on the unconscious man in the chair and she bit her lip. She carefully stepped over some stray shards of glass to where he was seated. Each step forward felt heavy, like her limbs were full of lead. When she got close enough Aubrey froze in place, staring at the guy's face. Okay. Time to do this. Do it. Even as she said it to herself, Aubrey felt stuck, unable to move. The man's head was bent sideways, exposing his ear to the air. Finally she leaned forward, lifting her hand up near Jack's ear so Suji could start to enter. She was concentrating so hard that she didn't notice his eyelids flutter.