Post by Admin on Aug 8, 2009 9:15:33 GMT -5
Viva Las Vegas
Suji:
Everyone had finished moving their stuff in. Suji had gone back on several trips to help get everything necessary, and had found herself stumbling in the doorway on the final time. She'd almost completely passed out, but the last dredges of her willpower refused her that comfort. In the past couple days she'd lead a secret mission to save David's brother (which was a success), eliminated the threat that had been Toby (also a success, though it didn't really feel like one). It had required a lot of morphing (most of it even back-to-back) and she'd had a brush with death in the process.
Well, brush with death was an understatement. Sure, she'd almost died, but she'd shook Death's hand two other times that night. Once had been with Toby, and the other with his sister. In a gruesome way she'd repaid her debt to Death, with interest.
And all of that had been on roughly two or three hours of sleep. Now she was lying face down on couch in one of the firehouse's rooms. It was dusty and smelled old, and the stuffing was coming out in places, but she was far past caring about anything like that. Suji had half-stumbled, half-fallen into this position almost half a day ago, and had since been sleeping like the dead.
Rian:
Rian picked up the phone and dialed the number for Raven's cell. He hadn't even known this number when he had been part of Raven's faction, the list of phone numbers only being entrusted to him with the safe and the morphing cube. He looked up at Luce who was casually leaning against the door of his room.
They had already called New York and found out that the person they were looking for had been transferred. Rian wasn't even sure if he wanted to make this call. As far as he could tell, borrowing members was not a common practice so far. But if what Luce said was true they might just need someone like Suji on this mission.
What had finally swayed him to call had been when he had asked Luce his hundreth question about explosions and dynamite and dracon grenades and supplies and she had yelled at him. Luce never yelled. She never lost control. And if she was feeling the pressure then maybe he should bring in some sort of back up for her. And when he'd asked her who would know she had given him this name so he was making the call.
He waited while the phone rang.
Raven:
Raven and Riley were both safe back at the HQ, and while the rest of the team rested he was out patrolling again. She wanted him to sleep but he was right, the rest of the team should get that needed R&R before he, even if he'd not slept in days. It was this that she was contemplating on when the cellphone began ringing, she froze for a moment, her face growing puzzled. The phone never rang unless it was Cassie, and those calls were few and far between.
With a grimace of pain, she pushed herself out of bed and grabbed the cell, glancing at the number and not immediately recognizing it. Raven propped the phone to her ear, "Raven of Chicago Faction speaking, this is?" she answered. Surprisingly her voice sounded fine to her, despite feeling quite the opposite. While she spoke she was opening the vault, quickly going through the list of numbers. Las Vegas....Rian. A smile spread across her face, "Rian?"
Rian:
He heard Raven's voice over the phone and it was one of the oddest experiences of his life. He had literally not spoken to Raven in months except for her brief visit to LA and she wasn't part of his Vegas world. In fact hearing her voice reminded him of a much simpler and even innocent time in his life. As dark as life had seemed to him then he hadn't been planning on how best to kill people at HQ.
Hearing her voice reminded him of mornings spent sleeping in at the cabin and afternoons spent running obstacle courses with Tim and Matt. He missed those woods.
"Hey Raven, yeah it's me. I hope you're well but I guess since we're using the cells you know I'm not calling for pleasure purposes unfortunately. Luce is here and she tells me and old faction mate of her might be able to help us out with a situation we have in Vegas. We called Cassie and she said Suji was transferred to you. Is she there?"
Raven:
Raven was surprised, but pleasantly so to hear Rian's voice confirm her question. Thoughts that were all positive flowed through her mind, and for a moment she forgot how sick she really was, and then it all came crashing down on her. Suji. Raven did not answer him right away, pausing longer than normal before finally responding, "Yes, Suji is here," she replied, her voice instantly growing rather strained. The idea of sending Suji off was actually one she liked, but Raven doubted she'd be returning if she left, and that might pose an overall problem.
"I can send her to you, but she comes with fine print," she muttered. "We've recently had issues with her, she killed another teammate without order to do so," a sigh escaped her lips here, "But unfortunately Riley knew, and he did not want to impart that decision upon me, so she can't be blamed completely. BUT I do not doubt she would have done it without his knowledge, she tends to take things into her own hands." Raven was being as kind as she could, without completely bashing Suji. Riley likes her, she's not horrible, just has issues with authority.... she tried to calm herself.
"There is also the issue of never hearing back about the deceased members sister. Suji followed her, was suppose to make sure she was safe and we never heard back from our resistance contacts," Raven paused, "There is no proof of foul play, the girl could have ran away...but..." her voice trailed off. Rian deserved to know it all before taking Suji on.
Rian:
Rian's mind was spinning as he heard all this. "Wait, are you telling me this person is a murderer?" Rian asked into the phone and then quickly looked up at Luce. At the words murderer Luce's eyes had grown cold and she had pushed herself off the wall. She looked angry but also confused.
Rian calmed his voice down. He had no desire to have a pissed off Luce around him. She wasn't a murderer but she was a killer. Maybe her friend was too. Hell, Rian had killed a lot of people himself, a fact he kept conveniently forgetting when judging others actions.
"Raven, you're going to have to fill in some details for me here. Who is Riley? Wait, Riley Riley? I mean I thought-" he was dead but that would have been tactless, "just can you tell me what happened?"
Raven:
"I'm saying she not only murdered, but did it behind my back, on her own accord, because she felt it was the right thing to do," Raven replied, her voice low and unhappy sounding. Then she sighed, "Sorry, Riley, yes Riley that I thought was dead...he's...not..." her voice was quiet for a moment before regaining its earlier vigor. "He's my second in command...because...I'm unable to morph now...due to pregnancy." Raven said this part and really hoped it would just be accepted, no questions.
Deciding not to give him a chance to question she continued, "We gained a new member, Toby, who proved to have sinister intentions...he kidnapped me and nearly killed Suji," she explained. "While I was captured Riley and Suji tried getting my location out of him, which he refused to admit, and in the end Sophia, Toby's little sister released me from my binds and I took her back with me to our HQ." Her mind raced now, trying to word the rest correctly, "We were going to take rounds on watching Toby and decide his fate in the morning since everyone needed sleep, Riley took first shift."
"Rian, shifts were Suji's idea, and I can only assume she intended on killing him during her shift when she offered the idea up. Riley later admitted he realized her ulterior motives, and allowed it...because in the end it was...the only one they thought seemed fit." Raven knew this was partially true, but deep within her she knew there could have been a way around it, all one needed to do was think hard enough. "Suji likes to take things into her own hands, if her gut feels its right, if she thinks itll better things she'll do so without regards for the Leaders, especially if she doesn't agree with them."
There was a long pause followed by a sigh, "Sorry, I...just don't trust her, she needs to be watched...taking actions as rash as that into her own hands...I feel more of a threat from her than the Yeerk right now to be honest. If I can't trust my own team then I don't think theres much a chance of defeating anyone." Another paused, "Oh and then Sophia...she was sent to a resistance camp, and Suji was the last to see her, but we've not heard word that Sophia ever arrived safely."
Rian:
Rian was getting a lot of information in a very short amount of time and absolutely none of it added up. "Ok, Raven, just, give me a sec ok. And congratulations I think. About the pregnancy and all and I guess Riley being...well...like not dead or, just hold on." He put down the phone and rubbed his eyes and looked at Luce.
Luce looked back in that disconcerting way she had where she didn't look away and obviously didn't feel the normal sense of discomfort staring brought most people.
"Ok, so, are you sure Cassie said Chicago? Like there are definitely not two Suji's and/or the one you are talking about was sent somewhere else?'
Luce raised an eyebrow and now her stare was no longer blank, in fact it said that she though Rian was being just a bit foolish if not outright dumb. Sometime Rian felt so inadequate around her.
"Ok, listen this is what Raven said." Rian quickly reiterated what he could remember using Raven's words as best he could since he didn't understand it enough to put it in his own.
Luce:
As Rian began to talk about what the report was on Suji Luce found herself growing more and more angry, an unusual occurrence for her. She never got angry about most things, annoyed yes, angry no. Most things weren't worth getting angry over but hearing her friend's reputation slandered so was hitting a nerve.
Luce ended up cutting Rian off. He had told her enough and she didn't need to hear anymore. "Give me the phone," she said calmly.
Rian:
Rian looked at Luce and for the first time ever he thought he could see her angry. She had probably been angry before but now she actually looked it. Which was probably a bad thing since she was so good at controlling her emotions and anything that she let get to her surface must be ten times worse underneath.
"Um, no, I'm going to say no," he said to Luce as he got up from the desk and put the phone back to his ear. He turned away from her to make it clear that he wasn't going to change his mind.....that and he didn't want to look at her and show that the woman still intimidated him.
"Raven, are you there? I, uh, it's just I have someone here, Luce if you ever met her, and she was the one who suggested Suji. And basically everything she's told me about her kind of goes against everything you're saying. Well at least kind of. I think. I'm actually not sure. I just know I'm in a bad way here in Vegas and I heard this Suji might be able to help me. But if she is what you say she is then there is no way I can let her come. I don't need a security risk right now."
Raven:
Raven waited as Rian spoke to someone else, and she started feeling her head spin again. The phone call had taken her from excited to grim, to unhappy now, and knowing she felt more emotional now than ever she was trying to go through her thoughts again. Raven had said Riley went along with Suji, she'd said Toby had kidnapped her, and had sinister intentions..that he'd nearly killed Suji....she'd emphasized how it was done behind her back...it was all there.
Part of her was slightly worried that her dislike and distrust of Suji, despite if she had the best intentions, might cause her to be biased. She sighed as Rian came back, "I don't know if I'm in the right state of mind to help sway your mind, I'm not fond of her, or how she works, but she's been a good soldier if you take subtract her killing Toby," Raven paused here, "I think I could have figured out a way around killing him, but I can also accept that killing him would have been the only other option....I was just never given the opportunity to do otherwise because she took it into her own hands....and Riley seemed to agree with her. I believe they were both trying to protect people...by taking the decision upon themselves...but it turned out to be a big mess as you can see. I'm sorry, I am trying to be unbiased, but considering my position it's slightly difficult."
"If...Luce..." she recalled the name Rian mentioned, "Think's she trustworthy, and can keep Suji from making decisions on her own, then she would be a great help, she's got a good gut...and probably good intentions even if she goes about them the wrong way," she paused, "I don't like her, or some of her methods, but I will admit she is one of the more capable people in my faction at the moment."
There...you dislike her, but at least you displayed both ends of the spectrum.
"But this conversation has gone on for a long time, which isn't safe....what do you want to do?"
Rian:
Rian thought carefully about what Raven had said. If she said she didn't like and didn't trust someone that meant a lot. More than Luce's word at least to Rian. He knew Raven and he knew that she liked to give everyone a chance so the fact that someone had gotten on her bad side meant they'd really gone out of their way to do so.
But he needed Suji if what Luce said was right and Raven had said she was extremely capable. On that she and Luce seemed to agree. She's got good intentions... So did the road to Hell.
But they walked that road already by being soldiers and killers. They walked it and died on it so that others didn't have to, didn't have to confront the dark things that they were capable of. And at least Suji seemed willing to stand, willing to do what was necessary. And as he thought about what would be necessary this time he knew that a killer was just the type of person he might need with him.
"Thanks Raven. Can you send her? It's urgent." He didn't go into details as to why it was urgent. He didn't think Raven would approve of his latest mission and she sounded like she was a little sick, he didn't want to put more strain on her. "And Raven...take care of yourself ok."
Raven:
"Yes. I can," she replied shortly. Rian didn't go into details, and Raven did not ask, she had a faction of her own to worry about and Rian was more than capable of handling his own. "I will, thanks. Be safe, keep an eye on everyone. Suji should be there in a few days time," there was a brief pause and she added, "Good bye Rian." Click, she snapped the cellphone shut.
With that she briefly spoke to Riley, explaining the situation and then went to speak to Suji alone. This was beginning to feel more like a goodbye then a temporary leave of absence. There was a light knock on Suji's door before Raven appeared, "Sorry to wake you, but Suji we need to talk." Riley stood in the hallway several feet away, waiting for Raven to leave so he could speak with Suji as well as keeping an eye on his girlfriend.
Suji:
Suji was having a nightmare. Not the in-your-face, terror-gripped kind, but something darker, further away, harder to put one's finger on. The weight of sleep nearly crushed it, but still it was there, in the far reaches, attacking whatever bit of her subconscious that hadn't succumbed to exhaustion. A nightmare where she killed someone simply for what they might become, where a red Eye watched her, where she was trapped in a war that made killers out of children and slaves out of everyone else. Trapped, backed into a corner, with only reason and logic as imperfect tools to defend herself.
The knock on the door didn't wake her at first, though it did scatter her sleep, make that nightmare more acute, more visible. Then she heard someone calling to her, and everything inside of her ached for release from its prison, and Suji forced herself awake. She did not forget where she was, upon waking. There was no blind hope that the nightmare had only been a nightmare, that she'd wake up in a world that was different and better.
Her armor was on already. She rubbed her eyes and sat up. Raven there, looking sickly and weak. Probably ready to blame her for what happened with Toby. Probably thought that Suji was a worse human being than Toby, not the least of which because Suji had defied her. Fine. Let her. Whatever helped her believe that Riley hadn't betrayed her, stabbed her in the back more fully than Suji ever good. Let her keep her blindness. She was no more a leader than a mother-hen, and if she wanted to crucify Suji for doing what was necessary, Suji was more than ready to take it. Better her than Riley, who seemed better suited for the job anyway.
Raven:
The only reason Raven hadn't spoken to Suji sooner was because of Riley, and not because he asked her not to when they briefly argued. No, Riley was often referred to as second in command, but that term did not fully cover his roles, he was in fact Co-Leader, but he didn't want the title, as he often told Raven. That being said, when he allowed Suji to kill he had purposely saved her from serious reprimand. It was still something she was angry about, something that they'd talk about once he was back from New York--not only as a couple but as leaders.
It was true however, that Sophia was missing, and it was true that Raven didn't trust Suji. Once already the girl had gone off her "gut" rather than do the safer, more cautious thing; rather than follow protocol that she displayed previous knowledge of having. Raven couldn't trust someone that was willing to forgo rules because they felt it was justified, or go through acts for said reason. That was not a member, that was someone acting as leader, and that was Raven's job, whether Suji liked it or not.
"You've been asked by Rian and Luce to go to Vegas," she said simply. Then she sat up straighter, ignoring the dull ache in her lower back--pregnancy was a bitch. "But before you begin packing, I'd like to get a few things out in the open." There was silence for a few minutes before Raven locked eyes on her.
"I don't like you, I feel threatened by you, and I don't agree with your actions," she paused, "That being said, I think you're a capable person, you're smart, and you could be a leader yourself." It was not easy for her to say all that, but it needed to be said, despite how she felt. "But you aren't a leader, and I am, and so by you going against me, it doesn't make me see you in a good light. I can't reprimand you because Riley agreed with you, and that stands even if I disagree with you both."
"Each person has their own standards, their own way to deal with situations, you don't agree with mine, that much is fairly obvious, but theres a level of order to be kept, and that means sucking up how you feel. You don't do that well, just like I don't take killing well," she shrugged. "Guess what I'm saying is, maybe you should be with a leader that you agree with, that way next time you take things into your own hands--and you will--you won't be getting yourself into trouble."
Raven turned away from Suji now, not wanting to hear a rebuttal, or anything else. She paused at the doorway, "There are maps in the cupboard in the kitchen, I will circle the area that Vegas is currently living in," she sighed, still turned away, "By the way, Sophia never made it to the resistance camps...but somehow I think you knew that already, didn't you Suji?" she glanced backwards, a conflicted expression on her face--anger mingled with sadness. "Goodbye." She walked away, and Riley stepped up.
She'd never know if Suji actually killed Sophia, but in her mind there was no doubt she had.
Suji:
Suji's eyebrows arched when Raven mentioned Luce. Rian she knew as a name (she knew the names of the faction leaders, at least as current as before she left NYC,) but nothing more. Luce though... Suji felt a sudden, unexpected pang in her chest, was surprised at how much she could miss someone, especially someone as hard to get along with as Luce had tended to be. Suji hadn't expected to be reunited with her, and certainly not so soon--but she wouldn't complain.
Dutifully, though impassively, Suji sat through Raven's lecture. Suji imagined Raven felt she was good at that: lecturing. Being the moral high ground. Telling people that what they did was bad and wrong, and that there was always another way if you looked hard enough. Suji imagined some child clapping, shouting, 'I do believe in fairies, I do!' more than an actual leader.
She arched an eyebrow when Raven mentioned that Suji didn't 'suck up how she felt' well. It was a funny accusation, if only for how hypocritical it was. Raven was the one obsessed with feelings here. She was the one that had to suck up her little do-no-evil attitude. Did Raven think that Suji had wanted to do what she did? Did Raven think it had been some emotionally charged bit about revenge? Or vindication? Maybe she would. Maybe it was easier for Raven to paint anyone who did the necessary thing, if it wasn't the 'right' thing to do ('right' being, if this were a perfect world), as too emotional. Too unable to see past their own feelings.
Funny, funny, funny. Raven would never know that Suji did what she did to protect her, to protect Riley, to protect their relationship because it was the only thing Chicago had going for it in the way of stability. Suji knew why she'd been sent here--because there was a serious lack of active leadership. Riley had been as of yet unproven, and Raven was effectively incapable of preforming the most necessary tasks of being a war-leader. And Cassie had tricked Suji, hadn't even laid all of the information out on the table.
Already Raven was in the doorway, clearly unwilling to hear anything Suji had to say. With her back turned to Suji, Suji rolled her eyes. This had been about lecturing. About settling something. Having the final say. Apparently Raven refused to do it on equal terms though.
Maybe she really did feel threatened. And not just on the level that she didn't trust Suji's actions. Maybe this arrogant front was just that: a front to cover up the fact that she didn't want to look inside herself, have to figure herself out. And maybe Suji was a bigger threat in that department than anywhere else. Maybe seeing something truly useful in Suji--not just pretty, empty good-bye words that you used because you didn't figure you'd see someone again in this lifetime--maybe that was the scariest thing of all.
By the time Raven looked back, with her parting words, Suji stood. She'd heard Sophia's name, and didn't wait for Raven to finish before getting to her feet. "If you're going to call me a murderer, Raven," Suji called out--she didn't care that her voice was raised, Raven was running away, nothing more than another coward. "Then at least be a big girl and say it!" She shouted, not caring that Riley was probably out there, ever the watchful guardian in case dainty Raven needed someone to lean on after all the strenuous work of throwing stones from her glass house.
Suji had plenty of other choice words she could use for Raven, and coward was not least among them. But of course, Raven would refuse to hear. She would do nothing but lecture, preach from the sidelines, and leave before she might actually have to defend herself. Or maybe she'd send Riley in to fight her verbal battles for her, too. Maybe pregnancy also precluded her from that.
Cassie might have made her a leader, but Suji could have told Raven one thing after Cassie's foil in sending her here. Cassie made mistakes.
Raven:
Raven did not see herself as a better person than Suji, just as one with different morals, different beliefs etc. Suji could have hated her, shouted every profanity, and she'd get no rise out of her anymore, Raven was past it. Her peace was said, but despite the clear goodbye Suji wanted to add more, so she paused, stepping back in as Riley stalked off with a scowl on his face. He remained seated outside of the HQ, not wanting to hear any of it.
Raven's "do no evil" attitude wouldn't go anywhere, and it didn't have to, she was the leader, people in Chicago worked by them. Each leader had that right. She did not think Suji enjoyed killing, if that were the case her parting words would have been harsh, and cold. What she did think was that there was another path that could have been chosen, but thanks to Suji taking things into her own hands yet again, that path couldn't be chosen and blood was shed. This was not a perfect world, but just because that was so didn't mean she had to change how she worked. Raven was a strong, whether Suji chose to see it or not, by sticking by her beliefs and making them work despite it all.
Everything she'd attempted to get across had probably not sunk in, sadly. Raven had turned her earlier anger into comprehension, and acceptance, she'd accepted Suji felt differently when it came to killing and despite not liking it she accepted it. Suji seemed unable to accept how Raven felt, unable to see the GOOD done here in Chicago her way, unable to see that things worked here doing things HER way.
She felt threatened only in the sense that Suji could be a leader, that she was capable of that and felt no need to contain that while around Chicago. That in itself wouldn't work, Chicago had two leaders with two different set of morals and they didn't need one more person around for that. Thinking otherwise would be rather arrogant.
"You are a murderer," she stated simply, staring at Suji with a neutral expression. "I'd have rather avoided a huge confrontation, but if you feel the need, then please do," she gestured. "We have plenty of murderers in our War, other leaders, that in itself is a personal choice and so doesn't matter as much as Sophia's death in particular," she raised an eyebrow carefully. "Did you kill her? Can you be a...big girl and say it?"
Cassie made mistakes, but this was not one. The Animorphs needed people like Raven, whether Suji agreed, liked, or hated. There were different approaches to everything, and it was safe to say the Animorphs had almost all those approaches covered.
Suji:
Suji laughed. She just looked into Raven's faced and laughed, and it felt so, incredibly, good. Raven thought she had Suji pegged--but God forbid Suji know a thing or two about the Chicago faction leader. Hell, Raven probably thought she was doing Suji a service for that little sermon... just enough sweet 'agree to disagree' bull in it so that she could feel polite in implying that Suji was a murderer later. "Avoid a huge confrontation? I guess you were. You preferred the 'lecture and then run out so I can have the last word' strategy, obviously."
Suji shook her head, snickering. "That's what you'd want, isn't it? For me to say that I killed Sophia? For me to confirm all your deep, dark fears that I'm some kind of monster? For you to feel oh-so-much more squeaky clean about yourself?" Suji tilted her head. "How does it feel, Raven? To accuse a member of killing someone innocent? To accuse with no proof, other than that I killed her brother? Toby, who Riley would have killed anyway. Toby, who would have killed you too, because you'd probably have laid there like a stupid animal and let him because otherwise poor Riley Jr might get miscarried rather than be born into a fucking war? "
Suji looked back at her, composed, even. Raven was just one more arrogant girl who thought that a bit of power and unwillingness to do what was necessary (and therefore be someone that forced it on others) made her morally superior. It was why Suji was a 'murderer'. Something which Raven had no grounds for accusing her of, except what, women's intuition?
"I already know that I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. If I did kill her, there would be no reason for me to tell you. If I didn't kill her, nothing I could say would change your mind. You just entertain that thought that you're calling me a murderer for something you can never know. Let me guess. She didn't call home after the evil Animorphs killed her one and only brother?"
Suji leaned forward, smirking. "You just remember. If it wasn't for me, the largest part of you would probably fit in a shoebox right about now, and Riley-dear would be dead as a doorknob. Just a thought to keep in mind, while you're busy pointing-fingers."
Because Suji hadn't started any of the blaming. If Raven hadn't felt the need to imply that Suji was a murderer (which, but Raven's standards--the standards that helped her feel better about herself, clearly---she was), Suji would have been able to let it go. But who was Raven to judge? Because in the end what Suji had said was true, too. Suji hadn't even been the one that had needed Raven--especially not Raven's self-righteous pacifism. If not for Suji's abilities (and Toby's failed attempts at playing them) she would have never pieced the trap together. Riley would have never had any warning about Toby's new morphs, and Toby could have easily been a tiger rather than a rattlesnake. Or he could have just wandered off without bothering with Riley at all, and started to work on Raven then.
And it would have been over much, much faster.
Raven:
Raven had a lot she wanted to say to Suji, how the girl had nerve to go off and do her own thing repeatedly, how she showed blatant disregard for her leaders, how she was going to end up getting people killed, but she held back. She was not a malicious person, but Suji was definitely getting her riled up, which was not a smart thing to do to a pregnant woman, one swimming with hormones. Suji obviously had issues with Raven, probably had from the beginning, but that did not give the girl the right to go behind her back and get away scott free.
Raven sighed, "I don't care about the last word Suji, it's the farthest thing from my mind, I did not want this, I didn't want to get riled up for pretty frickin' obvious reasons." It went unsaid that pregnant women went into early labor due to stress, and if this didn't count towards that then she didn't know what was. "Yes I do, because ever fiber of my being says you killed her, and if I'm wrong then I will stand here and apologize to you right now, but my gut, not unlike yours, is usually right," she replied sharply. Raven did dislike Suji, quite a bit, she actually loathed the girl, and maybe she'd jumped to conclusions when she accused her of killing Sophia, but the other explanations seemed too far fetched, and considering Suji's past actions of doing what she felt was 'right', well Raven had too much pointing in the girls direction to ignore it.
"You have gone off and done things you felt were right far too many times Suji, you are capable of killing without telling any of us, and you're a smart girl, I wouldn't doubt you knew how to cover up your tracks," she paused, "Oh, and you were the last person seen with Sophia....the idea that you would have killed her is not as proof-less as you might think, but again, if you can prove me wrong, then I will stand here and apologize greatly," she hissed.
Suji went too far when she spoke of 'Riley jr' as well as calling her a stupid animal, and Raven's face twisted up in anger. "How DARE you," she clenched her jaw, "You have NO idea what it's like to know you're a mother, you have killed, you know it's not easy Suji, because I can SEE you are not a monster, now imagine not just killing another human being but the one thats part of YOU, so don't sit there on your little pedestal and judge ME."
"There'd be plenty reason to tell me, you could clear your conscience Suji," she replied, keeping herself as level-headed as possible, despite the girls rudeness. "But you're right, I'm dead set on my conclusion, all your past actions point to it, the resistance never even caught wind of her, I don't think she'd go back to a life amongst Controllers without her brother, did I mention you were the last seen with her, and you've killed before, and not just anyone, but her brother. If you were me you'd think the same conclusion, only I don't have that luxury of ever finding a trace of her now do I, no you're too smart for that? Riley searched the area and found nothing, and the lovely rain did not help matters." I hate you Suji, yes I do, and maybe it's blinding me into thinking you killed Sophia, maybe it made me accuse you of such, but there's still plenty of facts that point to you too....
"Do you want a thanks? A big pat on the back? Do you remember I showed up here with Sophia without anyone's help, yes it was because Toby hadn't showed up, but why was he MIA again? I believe Riley said something about luring him into a trap after he found you nearly dead. Maybe you initially did not trust Toby, but us being alive is not solely due to your efforts, it was a group thing, or did you forget that we work as a group? You do tend to take things into your own hands often."
Suji pieced together the trap, but she fell pray to Toby as owl too, and Toby being a Tiger would have been absurd, their forest was not nearly big enough to house such an animal let alone give room for an attack with a creature that large, the forest was far too dense. Raven of course had not thought all that through, but she knew Riley had been around, and he had spotted Suji nearly dying, and had he not stopped to help her he would have followed Toby--which apparently was what he was hoping Toby would suspect. Suji was clever, but Riley was too and she had faith that he would have found a way back to her. They would never know that for sure since they stopped Toby, and Raven got out alongside with Sophia.
Suji:
Another lecture. Suji tuned out most of it, as she had the first time she'd realized that Raven had come in to lecture her. At least before, when she'd made Raven come back, she'd touched an unexpected nerve--at least unexpected for Suji, who had expected that the girl who try to hold to some sense of aloof leadership dignity and not turn back. But she had, and Suji had had the opportunity to say her fill, and judging by Raven's reaction, Suji had pressed the buttons she'd wanted to press.
If knowing how to sink your claws in under someone's armor wasn't a strength, it was at least a skill, and one that Suji possessed. The fact that Raven was ruled by emotion and sentiment (all pacifists were, weren't they?) made it that much easier to do (though the results, therefore, were predictable). Raven raged against Suji for judging her, and Suji smirked, distantly. Ah, but judgment went both ways, didn't it? Suji had never considered herself more than what she was--she'd never assumed that she was morally better than anyone else. With Raven it was different. With Raven it was about having the high ground; she didn't kill because it was bad and wrong and--here was the kicker--hard.
It was hard to kill. Or that wasn't right: it was easy to kill, but it was hard to murder--hard to knowingly take life, without letting that destroy you, without letting it become meaningless. For a moment Suji looked at Raven and pitied her (though not nearly as much as she despised her). After all, maybe Raven was just weak at her core. Maybe she just wasn't built for the role she'd been cast into. It was a rare, round-about moment of true human empathy, and Suji merely looked at the faction leader in front of her. Maybe Raven was just, in the end, scared. Incapable. Suji did not fault people for their moral trappings...
...except when you're a leader. And that Raven was. The pity drained away, and the bitter-sharp tang of disgust rose up in its place.
Most of whatever Raven said came across as an accusatory ramble, and Suji only realized that it was over after a second or two of silence. Her expression was utterly calm: she'd gotten what she'd wanted out of the conversation. She'd bled the boil of her own anger, for the time being. It would be slow healing, but to hear Raven's jabs and questions and suppositions would at least reassure her. Every sentence had bolstered Suji, rather than chip away at her. Silence would have been worse. Every word out of Raven's mouth was comforting, if only because it made it clear that Suji had analyzed her correctly.
She pondered responding to the Toby what-could-have-been theorizing, but decided against it. Suji had objected to Toby from the start. Without her around, there was no doubt in her mind that Toby would have succeeded in his plans. Even with her there it had been a close call. If Raven didn't want to see that, that was probably because she was too blinded by the fact that she was an easy, open target, which meant that so was her faction.
"I never asked for a thanks. We're a team after all," Suji said, laughing a little under her breath. "And regardless of whatever you think of my morality, whether or not you think I'm a murderer and that I killed Sophia, I would still do what was necessary to save you, again, now. Since it's our job to save those who can't save themselves. You're vulnerable, and I know that Cassie sent me here because you can't do all the things a leader should be able to do--and having Riley be both co-leader AND second is like slapping a band-aid on a bullet-hole." Suji eyed Raven up and down, feeling tired now, and wanting to go back to the deep, black ocean of sleep that she'd been dragged from.
"Accuse me of what you will, think of me what you will, hate me, curse my name--I don't care, especially not since I'm going to be on my way. Tell your faction I was a hero, tell them I was a murderer, whatever. Because all this has proved, at the end of the day, is that a war needs people like me to make up for shortcomings of people like you."
Raven:
There was a blankness in the girls face that told her she wasn't listening, the silence afterwords didn't help dissuade her from that conclusion. Someone that thick-headed and stubborn would shun off words that might actual take hold and help her. Somehow Raven felt Suji thought her the bad guy in all this, and the truth was she wasn't, that she was doing her job the way she did it, the way Cassie knew she would do it from day one. Maybe Chicago did not make the heaviest impact in casualties, but Cassie knew that from day 1, no but her faction did turn out the most Leaders for other cities, it trained people, readied them.
By the time Suji decided to speak Raven's face was cloaked in a mask of imassiveness, she was tired, and if Suji wasn't going to listen she didn't think wasting her breath farther would be worth it. This girl would do what she wanted no matter who was in charge, that much was obvious, and when something bad happened, when it was her fault because she wanted to rally against the leader--who is usually put there for a good reason--then maybe she'd change...or that possibly was just thinking too grandly. Suji would never change, and that was saddening.
"Could have surprised me," she merely shrugged off the thanks part. Her laughter was annoying, but now kind of expected, if you didn;t agree with Suji, if you did things differently then you were laughable and not worth listening to. Well Rian, I hope you and Suji share similar mindsets or ideas....or at least that friend of hers does. "No, Suji, that is not why Cassie sent you here, I don't think you know the first THING about our leader," she replied, and she smiled. Raven and Cassie had a past longer than Suji would know, and that was fine with her, she even had to repress laughter. "Your words make it seem like you think yourself the most important part of this group, and if thats so then it's not a group or a team in your eyes. It never really was was it? Go on and think what you need to right your conscience."
"I don't hate you, won't curse you, by you saying that proves you don't know a THING about me. My faction knows what you've done, and who you are, they're free to think of you as they will," she paused and shook her head. "For all your strengths, your biggest shortcoming isn't that you can go behind your leaders back Suji," she shook her head, "No it's that you think you're always right, and no one else can possibly dissuade you from it. One day, when you're wrong...maybe you'll see that."
Raven stepped away from the door and took several steps towards her room, she was feeling tired now. "I know my shortcomings, and so does Cassie, and I was still made leader." You are not... The conversation had hurt a bit, it had definitely hit a few nerves, but it had also made her see Suji slightly differently, that threat she'd felt had ebbed away as she realized how great Suji thought herself to be, like she was a great savior. No, Chicago was the single longest standing faction outside of New york, and would have continued to do so with out without Suji.
"Good bye."
Suji:
"If you think I'm saying I'm the most important member here, I'm not." Suji arched an eyebrow. "Just that I'm one of the only ones that actually seem to realize that we're fighting a war." Raven might think that Suji didn't understand anything about Cassie, and that was fine with Suji. Raven also didn't think Suji knew anything about her. There was a difference between understanding, and liking what you understood--and if Raven thought that Suji would like what she knew if she truly knew, well, that wasn't Suji's fault.
Yes, Raven had been made leader. But so had Lex, who had gotten himself killed in a matter of weeks. So had Matthias, whose entire faction had been blown to bits and pieces. Suji knew her history (hard not too when you were at the command central faction, even for a short time). Cassie, for all her faults, worked with what she had. And just because Raven happened to be on stock didn't make Suji think she was leadership material. Especially not considering recent events, and, well, her delicate situation.
Raven left the room and Suji shrugged. "Peace," she said, with a tone of finality.
Riley:
Ah...its done... he thought, hearing what sounded like some type of conclusion, or goodbye. Riley was seething beneath his skin, his normal charismatic demeanor lost almost completely. His jaw was clenched, and his muscles all tensed, almost as if his body was ready for a physical fight. There were no fights though, none at all, and so he stood up from his spot outside the HQ and walked away.
Riley had wanted to give Suji a decent goodbye, he didn't expect to see her after all the crazy events here, but after hearing--partially--what went on between she and Raven he wasn't sure if that was a good idea. Part of him was mad at Suji, the part of him that wanted to protect Raven, but a larger part knew his girlfriend could take care of herself, and that part still liked Suji despite what she thought about Raven. Suji on the other hand, after something like that, probably wasn't in the best mindset for a nice goodbye, and if it wasn't on good terms he didn't really want one at all--they were hard enough as it was.
His tall frame could be seen walking away from the HQ, and instead he remained outside, a good 10 feet from the building sitting under one of the trees, nicely cloaked by the shadow it cast. Good bye Suji he thought silently to himself.
Suji:
Suji didn't have many things to collect, even less after they'd left the original HQ. She had the clothes she was wearing over her morphing suit, and the dracon gun she'd taken from rescuing Karl--things that had been in the pack that she'd had brought over to the firehouse. She hid the gun in the waistband of her jeans, and slipped on a slightly over-sized jacket that also come with her stuff, which hid the weapon easily.
Suji found a rubber band and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She was still exhausted, but she wasn't about to go back to sleep. On one hand she could have probably used another 12 hours of deep slumber, and maybe another 12 of resting in bed drifting in and out. On the other hand, not only did she no longer feel welcome, Raven had all but told her to get out, as far as she was concerned. And pride wasn't about to let her stay here if she was been pushed along to another faction.
She didn't bother with any last looks over the room. There was nothing here worth being sentimental about. She left the firehouse without looking back, pausing only when she saw Riley sitting under a tree in the distance. Suji hesitated: she could say goodbye, or she could keep walking. For all she knew he'd either be in foul mood given the discussion between her and Raven, or even worse, he'd be prepared to lecture her as well.
If that was the case, Suji wasn't sure she'd be able to maintain her anger. Raven at least could plead the high ground because she clung to some perception of morality--useless and dangerous as it was. If Riley so much as pretended to be a shade better than Suji, that would just sour what had been one of her only hopes for this place--that Riley could see things clearly and act accordingly.
And still, she couldn't leave without saying goodbye. As much as she might have envisioned herself a soldier, someone who did what was necessary, there was a girl underneath that. A human. And Riley had been the only one with whom she'd come remotely close to seeing things eye to eye--except maybe Toby, and that was not a heartening thought. She stepped closer towards him, cocking her head back in a gesture of greeting. "Hey."
Riley:
Riley was sitting in the shade, one leg extended and the other bent in front of him. His mind was spinning with the events, everything happened so fast..and he felt loyalties being tested. Riley loved Raven, loved her more than he had ever loved anyone, but he had changed, and she had too. For the first time since finding out she was alive again--actually the for the first time ever-- Riley questioned of they would work out. Would the fact that he loved her help them overcome a difference such as this? Only time would really tell.
As he sat contemplating the last person he expected appeared, and Riley cast his gaze upwards, watching her form near him. His face remained neutral as she approached, not displaying the inner turmoil he felt now. Should he hate her? Should he side with Raven? Was be betraying the girl he loved by still liking the one that just insulted her? In the end he followed his gut, Suji and everyone else knew how he felt about Raven, and he couldn't just hate Suji because she and Raven disagreed. Friends were not something you fell across often, and while...he didn't know if she considered him that...he felt a kinship with her that could not be denied on his half.
"Hey," he replied, jerking his chin up at her in form of greeting. Despite his earlier confusion, when they began speaking he felt it slowly ease away, and a slight smile spread across his lips. Riley couldn't help the response, and rubbed the back of his neck in a sheepish manner, "Goodbyes are never easy huh?" he slowly got to his feet, brushing the grass off his pants. Inwardly he smacked himself, good going...he thought dryly.
Suji:
Suji regarded him sternly for a moment, bracing against the unpleasantness that was sure to follow. He was watching her with the same measuring look, until he returned the greeting. Then he started to smile, and Suji felt a great deal of the tension in her shoulders dissipate at once. It felt like somewhere deep down, a breath she'd been holding ever since plotting Karl's secret escape, all the way through the Toby crisis, finally escaped.
She exhaled, and found herself snickering gently under her breath at his question. "Not when you want them to be," she replied evenly. "So is this one going to be ugly too?" She smirked a little, shifting her weight to one side.
Riley:
Riley raised a brow at her when he heard the soft snickering, but the smile was still spread across his lips. The circumstances were....straining to say the least, and yet...he felt better than he had moments before. There was a bond between the two, one that he didn't quite understand, but it was one he liked. Suji and Raven weren't friends, no where near it, but that didnt mean Riley had to sever contact with her, and he wouldn't.
He chuckled softly at her response, shaking his head slowly, "Depends on the definition of ugly," he laughed. "But no, don't think this one'll be ugly. You know I've got your back," he winked and grinned. The two had been through a lot, and at one point he had put his life in her hands, when he had let himself be bait to Toby's attack...relying on her. That was something you couldn't just forget or walk away from lightly. Suji would always hold a place with him, whether she realized it or not.
"Well..." he started, and then ran a hand absently through his short hair, "It's sad seeing you go, but I'm glad I got to meet you," he held her gaze for a moment, showing the genuineness of his words. "You know where to find me, if ever you find yourself in need of my services." He held out a hand for a shake, and then frowned, it felt so impersonal...but he had no idea how she would react to a hug. Riley hesitated for a moment, his hand retracting a little before he raised both brows up and smirked. "Too weird to hug?"
Teddy bear or Grizzly bear, it was hard to tell what side you were going to get with Riley.
Suji:
He did have her back. That kind of kinship was something she'd only felt with one other person so far in this war: Luce. And she'd all but forgotten about her old friend in the midst of this crisis. Now she would be hurrying along to Vegas, where her past comrade was stationed. Suji might have trusted Luce more in certain situations (namely because Luce was the only person she counted on to be just as methodical as she was), but Riley had been dependable, and what's more, capable. Easier to get along with than Luce, too.
"Not too weird," Suji said with a small smile, though she feigned looking over her shoulder. "Just make sure your girlfriend doesn't see. I'm sure there's only so much that even pacifists can take."
Riley:
Riley, not unlike Suji, also was not particularly inclined to trust others, and after Toby that only increased--though not by much since it was hard to get worse than he already was. His list was small, Raven, Suji, Jeffrey, Cassie, Quinn, and Victoria. Most of those people he hadn't seen in ages however, and so the trust was waning with time, but there was hope for people in his faction now. With time.
In the present however he was basically losing someone though, she wasn't dying but the distance would only hinder, not help. Riley hoped next time the met--if ever--that they would not be strangers. His smile widened at her words, and he couldn't help but chuckle softly when she glanced backwards. "She will understand," he replied, and seemed genuninely at ease about it despite feeling some hesitation. Raven had understood in the past, but they had changed, how would she react now? Riley wasn't entirely sure, but he knew one thing indefinitely...that he wanted to be able to give Suji a proper goodbye.
"And anyway, she's inside, I checked," he added lightly, clearly joking as he grinned. With that he extended his arms, pulling her into a bear hug, even lifting her slightly off the ground before setting her back down. Riley made sure not to squeeze her too much...suffocation would be a horrible way to go after all this. "Planned out how you're getting there?" he asked, taking a step back, as the conversation came to a close. "Morphing?" Suji would have a plan, she usually did...and if she didn't he would find himself quite surprised.
Suji:
Suji wasn't so convinced Raven would "understand"--not so much about the hug as about Riley's acceptance of Suji--but she wasn't going to belabor the issue. She was leaving, and now it didn't really matter: it would probably be hard for Raven to like Suji even less. Raven hadn't been the one she'd really been worried about--it'd been Riley, so if he was okay with it, she was okay with it.
Riley's strong arms went around her and Suji pulled her own arms around his neck. It was a good hug, and for a moment she shivered lightly, afraid that she'd unravel. It was easy to be strong when you were being pressed and pressured, at least for Suji. The real danger was in the aftermath, when you were with someone that wouldn't berate you or think less of you if you let down the mask.
The embrace broke and she stepped back as well, quickly reassembling herself. "Yeah, I've got a plan. I'm thinking of stealing a motorcycle--there's a lot that sells those and some cars. I passed over it each time I was spying on David's brother and planning his escape," she laughed lightly under her breath. She didn't think he'd scold her about that now. At least that was a boon given everything else that had happened. "I guess motorcycles and dirtbikes are in big demand in cities--easier to fit more of them in a parking lot outside the pool on a Friday night," she snickered.
Suji lifted the corner of her mouth into a smile. "You want to help me grab one? I'm thinking something flashy, that will get me into Vegas on attitude alone."
Riley:
Riley didn't know where he stood with the entire idea, all he really knew was that he still felt a kinship with Suji, and while he disliked the situation between she and Raven, he wouldn't let that stop him. Bonds were suppose to be strong, and so was love, if what they had could last through death--even if it was only presumed--then could it not last this? Love definitely was not the only thing needed, but it was also not the only thing the two shared. It'll be fine, he told himself, though it was more of a way to comfort him if anything.
The hug helped though, made him feel more strongly about the choice he had made--one that had the potential to change everything. Deep down he had the lingering feeling that it would all work out--something that was strange considering he was not the hopeful type. Shaking the thoughts off again he smiled at the mention of motorcycles, his entire face taking on a boyish quality it normally lacked. It was obvious this excited him, motorcycles that is.
Riley couldn't help but laugh, shaking his head slowly at her mention of planning Karl's escape. Past was past, a bit late for anything now. The smile on Suji's face was replicated on his own, a new lively spark in his expression, "Do I?" he looked incredulous for a moment before breaking out into a wide grin, "Of course I do." Maybe he could find a few good spare parts to fix up his old Harley--it lacked its old luster, but it was still his girl.
Slowly he raised up one brow, his face stretched out in what seemed to be a permanent smile now, "Have a plan on how to nick one?" Suji knew the area better than he since he couldn't recall the spot she spoke of. Riley had a few ideas of his own already formulating, but he stayed quiet for the moment.
Suji:
Suji feigned confusion though her smile betrayed her: "What, you don't think walking up and telling them we need a motorcycle so a lazy Animorph doesn't have to fly to another faction won't work?" She smiled, and shook her head a little.
"I figured I could pretend to be interested in buying one, and just make off with it when the opportunity came up. I've got a dracon gun and they can be pretty good for stunning." And evaporating people. "I'm sure there are still plenty of robberies in Yeerk-America. Luxury goods are in tighter supply what with production still being evened out again. So a hold-up probably wouldn't be too uncommon."
She looked up at him, tilting her head a bit. "Though if I've got a partner, one of us could just be a distraction."
Riley:
Riley flashed her an cheeky grin, "Plan C," he replied jokingly. Truth be told walking in there in their human forms had been a fairly okay idea, with the exception of him going in as human that is. Riley was not incredibly well known, but his face was known and it might post a threat depending on which area this was located in. On the bright side, he did have one human morph, though Riley was not exactly fond of telling others so--it was a female. Raven had coaxed him into it a while ago, seeing as it would probably come in handy at one point. The only downfall was that he had only had the time to acquire a woman at the time, and now looking back it probably would have been a smart idea to get a male as well. Last resort Riley...last resort... he told himself silently.
"Dracon gun...I like that," he grinned. Riley began to mull over the hold up idea when he caught her looking up at him, and he jerked up a brow suspiciously, "Yes?" he asked, now unable to help but chuckle. Riley's smirk widened, "Well, you do happen to have a partner...." he started, his mind already turning with ideas, "What kind of distraction should we be talking here..." he wiggled his eyebrows up and down in a slightly foolish way.
"There's...you know the kind that ends in explosion, the accident-prone Controller interested in a bike, a stray dog causing trouble, or we can go...with a pretty blonde girl that can't tell the difference between a soft-tail cruiser and a supermotto." Inwardly he didn't exactly enjoy the idea of morphing this woman, but maybe Suji wouldn't tease him about it...too much. "How hard can it be to flirt....as the opposite sex?" Of course he was hoping she might offer to be the distraction.
Suji:
Suji arched an eyebrow at his last comment. Pretty blonde? Was he offering to morph some girl? Sounded like it, from the opposite sex bit. "Well, as much as I'd love to see that," Suji smiled, raising both eyebrows, "I'm not sure how effective flirting is nowadays. Maybe it is--but Controllers seem pretty wary of admitting any sort of physical attraction, from what I've seen. At least, I've usually gone with trying to scare them before seducing them." She added with a grin: "Maybe you've had other experiences."
Pausing for a moment, her eyes unfixed and her brow furrowed, thinking. "Can you hotwire those things? I'll do the distracting if you can. I've only ever read up on hot-wiring cars, don't even know if it's possible for bikes."
Riley:
Riley left it vague, knowing Suji would either deduce what he meant, or simply ask. Either way this went he was hoping for an alternative. He laughed, "I've come across a lot of hard asses, but you'd be surprised the natural instincts a male specimen has, even without the Yeerk when a pretty girls around." Now, being able to control that urge was a different story, but still.
"Hotwire....yeah..." he paused and smirked, "It's possible but its more tricky...as in I can get it started but I can't guarantee that it won't fry the system and make it impossible to ride again," he replied, brows knit together in thought. "Really though it depends on the bike. Wouldn't you like the keys though, in case you want to ride it again?" he grinned. Motorcycles were his thing, he couldn't bare to see one stolen and then never used again, at least not used properly. That being said he didn't get to ride his as much as he liked anymore, but still.
"It's up to you, I could go after the most flashy one that didn't involve needing a nail or screw driver...and then you should be good to go on it." Sometimes the wires connecting the engine of the motorcycle were hidden by plastics, or buried behind metal and required some digging, but there were plenty of brands that did not. Riley could spot the differences pretty easily.
Suji:
Everyone had finished moving their stuff in. Suji had gone back on several trips to help get everything necessary, and had found herself stumbling in the doorway on the final time. She'd almost completely passed out, but the last dredges of her willpower refused her that comfort. In the past couple days she'd lead a secret mission to save David's brother (which was a success), eliminated the threat that had been Toby (also a success, though it didn't really feel like one). It had required a lot of morphing (most of it even back-to-back) and she'd had a brush with death in the process.
Well, brush with death was an understatement. Sure, she'd almost died, but she'd shook Death's hand two other times that night. Once had been with Toby, and the other with his sister. In a gruesome way she'd repaid her debt to Death, with interest.
And all of that had been on roughly two or three hours of sleep. Now she was lying face down on couch in one of the firehouse's rooms. It was dusty and smelled old, and the stuffing was coming out in places, but she was far past caring about anything like that. Suji had half-stumbled, half-fallen into this position almost half a day ago, and had since been sleeping like the dead.
Rian:
Rian picked up the phone and dialed the number for Raven's cell. He hadn't even known this number when he had been part of Raven's faction, the list of phone numbers only being entrusted to him with the safe and the morphing cube. He looked up at Luce who was casually leaning against the door of his room.
They had already called New York and found out that the person they were looking for had been transferred. Rian wasn't even sure if he wanted to make this call. As far as he could tell, borrowing members was not a common practice so far. But if what Luce said was true they might just need someone like Suji on this mission.
What had finally swayed him to call had been when he had asked Luce his hundreth question about explosions and dynamite and dracon grenades and supplies and she had yelled at him. Luce never yelled. She never lost control. And if she was feeling the pressure then maybe he should bring in some sort of back up for her. And when he'd asked her who would know she had given him this name so he was making the call.
He waited while the phone rang.
Raven:
Raven and Riley were both safe back at the HQ, and while the rest of the team rested he was out patrolling again. She wanted him to sleep but he was right, the rest of the team should get that needed R&R before he, even if he'd not slept in days. It was this that she was contemplating on when the cellphone began ringing, she froze for a moment, her face growing puzzled. The phone never rang unless it was Cassie, and those calls were few and far between.
With a grimace of pain, she pushed herself out of bed and grabbed the cell, glancing at the number and not immediately recognizing it. Raven propped the phone to her ear, "Raven of Chicago Faction speaking, this is?" she answered. Surprisingly her voice sounded fine to her, despite feeling quite the opposite. While she spoke she was opening the vault, quickly going through the list of numbers. Las Vegas....Rian. A smile spread across her face, "Rian?"
Rian:
He heard Raven's voice over the phone and it was one of the oddest experiences of his life. He had literally not spoken to Raven in months except for her brief visit to LA and she wasn't part of his Vegas world. In fact hearing her voice reminded him of a much simpler and even innocent time in his life. As dark as life had seemed to him then he hadn't been planning on how best to kill people at HQ.
Hearing her voice reminded him of mornings spent sleeping in at the cabin and afternoons spent running obstacle courses with Tim and Matt. He missed those woods.
"Hey Raven, yeah it's me. I hope you're well but I guess since we're using the cells you know I'm not calling for pleasure purposes unfortunately. Luce is here and she tells me and old faction mate of her might be able to help us out with a situation we have in Vegas. We called Cassie and she said Suji was transferred to you. Is she there?"
Raven:
Raven was surprised, but pleasantly so to hear Rian's voice confirm her question. Thoughts that were all positive flowed through her mind, and for a moment she forgot how sick she really was, and then it all came crashing down on her. Suji. Raven did not answer him right away, pausing longer than normal before finally responding, "Yes, Suji is here," she replied, her voice instantly growing rather strained. The idea of sending Suji off was actually one she liked, but Raven doubted she'd be returning if she left, and that might pose an overall problem.
"I can send her to you, but she comes with fine print," she muttered. "We've recently had issues with her, she killed another teammate without order to do so," a sigh escaped her lips here, "But unfortunately Riley knew, and he did not want to impart that decision upon me, so she can't be blamed completely. BUT I do not doubt she would have done it without his knowledge, she tends to take things into her own hands." Raven was being as kind as she could, without completely bashing Suji. Riley likes her, she's not horrible, just has issues with authority.... she tried to calm herself.
"There is also the issue of never hearing back about the deceased members sister. Suji followed her, was suppose to make sure she was safe and we never heard back from our resistance contacts," Raven paused, "There is no proof of foul play, the girl could have ran away...but..." her voice trailed off. Rian deserved to know it all before taking Suji on.
Rian:
Rian's mind was spinning as he heard all this. "Wait, are you telling me this person is a murderer?" Rian asked into the phone and then quickly looked up at Luce. At the words murderer Luce's eyes had grown cold and she had pushed herself off the wall. She looked angry but also confused.
Rian calmed his voice down. He had no desire to have a pissed off Luce around him. She wasn't a murderer but she was a killer. Maybe her friend was too. Hell, Rian had killed a lot of people himself, a fact he kept conveniently forgetting when judging others actions.
"Raven, you're going to have to fill in some details for me here. Who is Riley? Wait, Riley Riley? I mean I thought-" he was dead but that would have been tactless, "just can you tell me what happened?"
Raven:
"I'm saying she not only murdered, but did it behind my back, on her own accord, because she felt it was the right thing to do," Raven replied, her voice low and unhappy sounding. Then she sighed, "Sorry, Riley, yes Riley that I thought was dead...he's...not..." her voice was quiet for a moment before regaining its earlier vigor. "He's my second in command...because...I'm unable to morph now...due to pregnancy." Raven said this part and really hoped it would just be accepted, no questions.
Deciding not to give him a chance to question she continued, "We gained a new member, Toby, who proved to have sinister intentions...he kidnapped me and nearly killed Suji," she explained. "While I was captured Riley and Suji tried getting my location out of him, which he refused to admit, and in the end Sophia, Toby's little sister released me from my binds and I took her back with me to our HQ." Her mind raced now, trying to word the rest correctly, "We were going to take rounds on watching Toby and decide his fate in the morning since everyone needed sleep, Riley took first shift."
"Rian, shifts were Suji's idea, and I can only assume she intended on killing him during her shift when she offered the idea up. Riley later admitted he realized her ulterior motives, and allowed it...because in the end it was...the only one they thought seemed fit." Raven knew this was partially true, but deep within her she knew there could have been a way around it, all one needed to do was think hard enough. "Suji likes to take things into her own hands, if her gut feels its right, if she thinks itll better things she'll do so without regards for the Leaders, especially if she doesn't agree with them."
There was a long pause followed by a sigh, "Sorry, I...just don't trust her, she needs to be watched...taking actions as rash as that into her own hands...I feel more of a threat from her than the Yeerk right now to be honest. If I can't trust my own team then I don't think theres much a chance of defeating anyone." Another paused, "Oh and then Sophia...she was sent to a resistance camp, and Suji was the last to see her, but we've not heard word that Sophia ever arrived safely."
Rian:
Rian was getting a lot of information in a very short amount of time and absolutely none of it added up. "Ok, Raven, just, give me a sec ok. And congratulations I think. About the pregnancy and all and I guess Riley being...well...like not dead or, just hold on." He put down the phone and rubbed his eyes and looked at Luce.
Luce looked back in that disconcerting way she had where she didn't look away and obviously didn't feel the normal sense of discomfort staring brought most people.
"Ok, so, are you sure Cassie said Chicago? Like there are definitely not two Suji's and/or the one you are talking about was sent somewhere else?'
Luce raised an eyebrow and now her stare was no longer blank, in fact it said that she though Rian was being just a bit foolish if not outright dumb. Sometime Rian felt so inadequate around her.
"Ok, listen this is what Raven said." Rian quickly reiterated what he could remember using Raven's words as best he could since he didn't understand it enough to put it in his own.
Luce:
As Rian began to talk about what the report was on Suji Luce found herself growing more and more angry, an unusual occurrence for her. She never got angry about most things, annoyed yes, angry no. Most things weren't worth getting angry over but hearing her friend's reputation slandered so was hitting a nerve.
Luce ended up cutting Rian off. He had told her enough and she didn't need to hear anymore. "Give me the phone," she said calmly.
Rian:
Rian looked at Luce and for the first time ever he thought he could see her angry. She had probably been angry before but now she actually looked it. Which was probably a bad thing since she was so good at controlling her emotions and anything that she let get to her surface must be ten times worse underneath.
"Um, no, I'm going to say no," he said to Luce as he got up from the desk and put the phone back to his ear. He turned away from her to make it clear that he wasn't going to change his mind.....that and he didn't want to look at her and show that the woman still intimidated him.
"Raven, are you there? I, uh, it's just I have someone here, Luce if you ever met her, and she was the one who suggested Suji. And basically everything she's told me about her kind of goes against everything you're saying. Well at least kind of. I think. I'm actually not sure. I just know I'm in a bad way here in Vegas and I heard this Suji might be able to help me. But if she is what you say she is then there is no way I can let her come. I don't need a security risk right now."
Raven:
Raven waited as Rian spoke to someone else, and she started feeling her head spin again. The phone call had taken her from excited to grim, to unhappy now, and knowing she felt more emotional now than ever she was trying to go through her thoughts again. Raven had said Riley went along with Suji, she'd said Toby had kidnapped her, and had sinister intentions..that he'd nearly killed Suji....she'd emphasized how it was done behind her back...it was all there.
Part of her was slightly worried that her dislike and distrust of Suji, despite if she had the best intentions, might cause her to be biased. She sighed as Rian came back, "I don't know if I'm in the right state of mind to help sway your mind, I'm not fond of her, or how she works, but she's been a good soldier if you take subtract her killing Toby," Raven paused here, "I think I could have figured out a way around killing him, but I can also accept that killing him would have been the only other option....I was just never given the opportunity to do otherwise because she took it into her own hands....and Riley seemed to agree with her. I believe they were both trying to protect people...by taking the decision upon themselves...but it turned out to be a big mess as you can see. I'm sorry, I am trying to be unbiased, but considering my position it's slightly difficult."
"If...Luce..." she recalled the name Rian mentioned, "Think's she trustworthy, and can keep Suji from making decisions on her own, then she would be a great help, she's got a good gut...and probably good intentions even if she goes about them the wrong way," she paused, "I don't like her, or some of her methods, but I will admit she is one of the more capable people in my faction at the moment."
There...you dislike her, but at least you displayed both ends of the spectrum.
"But this conversation has gone on for a long time, which isn't safe....what do you want to do?"
Rian:
Rian thought carefully about what Raven had said. If she said she didn't like and didn't trust someone that meant a lot. More than Luce's word at least to Rian. He knew Raven and he knew that she liked to give everyone a chance so the fact that someone had gotten on her bad side meant they'd really gone out of their way to do so.
But he needed Suji if what Luce said was right and Raven had said she was extremely capable. On that she and Luce seemed to agree. She's got good intentions... So did the road to Hell.
But they walked that road already by being soldiers and killers. They walked it and died on it so that others didn't have to, didn't have to confront the dark things that they were capable of. And at least Suji seemed willing to stand, willing to do what was necessary. And as he thought about what would be necessary this time he knew that a killer was just the type of person he might need with him.
"Thanks Raven. Can you send her? It's urgent." He didn't go into details as to why it was urgent. He didn't think Raven would approve of his latest mission and she sounded like she was a little sick, he didn't want to put more strain on her. "And Raven...take care of yourself ok."
Raven:
"Yes. I can," she replied shortly. Rian didn't go into details, and Raven did not ask, she had a faction of her own to worry about and Rian was more than capable of handling his own. "I will, thanks. Be safe, keep an eye on everyone. Suji should be there in a few days time," there was a brief pause and she added, "Good bye Rian." Click, she snapped the cellphone shut.
With that she briefly spoke to Riley, explaining the situation and then went to speak to Suji alone. This was beginning to feel more like a goodbye then a temporary leave of absence. There was a light knock on Suji's door before Raven appeared, "Sorry to wake you, but Suji we need to talk." Riley stood in the hallway several feet away, waiting for Raven to leave so he could speak with Suji as well as keeping an eye on his girlfriend.
Suji:
Suji was having a nightmare. Not the in-your-face, terror-gripped kind, but something darker, further away, harder to put one's finger on. The weight of sleep nearly crushed it, but still it was there, in the far reaches, attacking whatever bit of her subconscious that hadn't succumbed to exhaustion. A nightmare where she killed someone simply for what they might become, where a red Eye watched her, where she was trapped in a war that made killers out of children and slaves out of everyone else. Trapped, backed into a corner, with only reason and logic as imperfect tools to defend herself.
The knock on the door didn't wake her at first, though it did scatter her sleep, make that nightmare more acute, more visible. Then she heard someone calling to her, and everything inside of her ached for release from its prison, and Suji forced herself awake. She did not forget where she was, upon waking. There was no blind hope that the nightmare had only been a nightmare, that she'd wake up in a world that was different and better.
Her armor was on already. She rubbed her eyes and sat up. Raven there, looking sickly and weak. Probably ready to blame her for what happened with Toby. Probably thought that Suji was a worse human being than Toby, not the least of which because Suji had defied her. Fine. Let her. Whatever helped her believe that Riley hadn't betrayed her, stabbed her in the back more fully than Suji ever good. Let her keep her blindness. She was no more a leader than a mother-hen, and if she wanted to crucify Suji for doing what was necessary, Suji was more than ready to take it. Better her than Riley, who seemed better suited for the job anyway.
Raven:
The only reason Raven hadn't spoken to Suji sooner was because of Riley, and not because he asked her not to when they briefly argued. No, Riley was often referred to as second in command, but that term did not fully cover his roles, he was in fact Co-Leader, but he didn't want the title, as he often told Raven. That being said, when he allowed Suji to kill he had purposely saved her from serious reprimand. It was still something she was angry about, something that they'd talk about once he was back from New York--not only as a couple but as leaders.
It was true however, that Sophia was missing, and it was true that Raven didn't trust Suji. Once already the girl had gone off her "gut" rather than do the safer, more cautious thing; rather than follow protocol that she displayed previous knowledge of having. Raven couldn't trust someone that was willing to forgo rules because they felt it was justified, or go through acts for said reason. That was not a member, that was someone acting as leader, and that was Raven's job, whether Suji liked it or not.
"You've been asked by Rian and Luce to go to Vegas," she said simply. Then she sat up straighter, ignoring the dull ache in her lower back--pregnancy was a bitch. "But before you begin packing, I'd like to get a few things out in the open." There was silence for a few minutes before Raven locked eyes on her.
"I don't like you, I feel threatened by you, and I don't agree with your actions," she paused, "That being said, I think you're a capable person, you're smart, and you could be a leader yourself." It was not easy for her to say all that, but it needed to be said, despite how she felt. "But you aren't a leader, and I am, and so by you going against me, it doesn't make me see you in a good light. I can't reprimand you because Riley agreed with you, and that stands even if I disagree with you both."
"Each person has their own standards, their own way to deal with situations, you don't agree with mine, that much is fairly obvious, but theres a level of order to be kept, and that means sucking up how you feel. You don't do that well, just like I don't take killing well," she shrugged. "Guess what I'm saying is, maybe you should be with a leader that you agree with, that way next time you take things into your own hands--and you will--you won't be getting yourself into trouble."
Raven turned away from Suji now, not wanting to hear a rebuttal, or anything else. She paused at the doorway, "There are maps in the cupboard in the kitchen, I will circle the area that Vegas is currently living in," she sighed, still turned away, "By the way, Sophia never made it to the resistance camps...but somehow I think you knew that already, didn't you Suji?" she glanced backwards, a conflicted expression on her face--anger mingled with sadness. "Goodbye." She walked away, and Riley stepped up.
She'd never know if Suji actually killed Sophia, but in her mind there was no doubt she had.
Suji:
Suji's eyebrows arched when Raven mentioned Luce. Rian she knew as a name (she knew the names of the faction leaders, at least as current as before she left NYC,) but nothing more. Luce though... Suji felt a sudden, unexpected pang in her chest, was surprised at how much she could miss someone, especially someone as hard to get along with as Luce had tended to be. Suji hadn't expected to be reunited with her, and certainly not so soon--but she wouldn't complain.
Dutifully, though impassively, Suji sat through Raven's lecture. Suji imagined Raven felt she was good at that: lecturing. Being the moral high ground. Telling people that what they did was bad and wrong, and that there was always another way if you looked hard enough. Suji imagined some child clapping, shouting, 'I do believe in fairies, I do!' more than an actual leader.
She arched an eyebrow when Raven mentioned that Suji didn't 'suck up how she felt' well. It was a funny accusation, if only for how hypocritical it was. Raven was the one obsessed with feelings here. She was the one that had to suck up her little do-no-evil attitude. Did Raven think that Suji had wanted to do what she did? Did Raven think it had been some emotionally charged bit about revenge? Or vindication? Maybe she would. Maybe it was easier for Raven to paint anyone who did the necessary thing, if it wasn't the 'right' thing to do ('right' being, if this were a perfect world), as too emotional. Too unable to see past their own feelings.
Funny, funny, funny. Raven would never know that Suji did what she did to protect her, to protect Riley, to protect their relationship because it was the only thing Chicago had going for it in the way of stability. Suji knew why she'd been sent here--because there was a serious lack of active leadership. Riley had been as of yet unproven, and Raven was effectively incapable of preforming the most necessary tasks of being a war-leader. And Cassie had tricked Suji, hadn't even laid all of the information out on the table.
Already Raven was in the doorway, clearly unwilling to hear anything Suji had to say. With her back turned to Suji, Suji rolled her eyes. This had been about lecturing. About settling something. Having the final say. Apparently Raven refused to do it on equal terms though.
Maybe she really did feel threatened. And not just on the level that she didn't trust Suji's actions. Maybe this arrogant front was just that: a front to cover up the fact that she didn't want to look inside herself, have to figure herself out. And maybe Suji was a bigger threat in that department than anywhere else. Maybe seeing something truly useful in Suji--not just pretty, empty good-bye words that you used because you didn't figure you'd see someone again in this lifetime--maybe that was the scariest thing of all.
By the time Raven looked back, with her parting words, Suji stood. She'd heard Sophia's name, and didn't wait for Raven to finish before getting to her feet. "If you're going to call me a murderer, Raven," Suji called out--she didn't care that her voice was raised, Raven was running away, nothing more than another coward. "Then at least be a big girl and say it!" She shouted, not caring that Riley was probably out there, ever the watchful guardian in case dainty Raven needed someone to lean on after all the strenuous work of throwing stones from her glass house.
Suji had plenty of other choice words she could use for Raven, and coward was not least among them. But of course, Raven would refuse to hear. She would do nothing but lecture, preach from the sidelines, and leave before she might actually have to defend herself. Or maybe she'd send Riley in to fight her verbal battles for her, too. Maybe pregnancy also precluded her from that.
Cassie might have made her a leader, but Suji could have told Raven one thing after Cassie's foil in sending her here. Cassie made mistakes.
Raven:
Raven did not see herself as a better person than Suji, just as one with different morals, different beliefs etc. Suji could have hated her, shouted every profanity, and she'd get no rise out of her anymore, Raven was past it. Her peace was said, but despite the clear goodbye Suji wanted to add more, so she paused, stepping back in as Riley stalked off with a scowl on his face. He remained seated outside of the HQ, not wanting to hear any of it.
Raven's "do no evil" attitude wouldn't go anywhere, and it didn't have to, she was the leader, people in Chicago worked by them. Each leader had that right. She did not think Suji enjoyed killing, if that were the case her parting words would have been harsh, and cold. What she did think was that there was another path that could have been chosen, but thanks to Suji taking things into her own hands yet again, that path couldn't be chosen and blood was shed. This was not a perfect world, but just because that was so didn't mean she had to change how she worked. Raven was a strong, whether Suji chose to see it or not, by sticking by her beliefs and making them work despite it all.
Everything she'd attempted to get across had probably not sunk in, sadly. Raven had turned her earlier anger into comprehension, and acceptance, she'd accepted Suji felt differently when it came to killing and despite not liking it she accepted it. Suji seemed unable to accept how Raven felt, unable to see the GOOD done here in Chicago her way, unable to see that things worked here doing things HER way.
She felt threatened only in the sense that Suji could be a leader, that she was capable of that and felt no need to contain that while around Chicago. That in itself wouldn't work, Chicago had two leaders with two different set of morals and they didn't need one more person around for that. Thinking otherwise would be rather arrogant.
"You are a murderer," she stated simply, staring at Suji with a neutral expression. "I'd have rather avoided a huge confrontation, but if you feel the need, then please do," she gestured. "We have plenty of murderers in our War, other leaders, that in itself is a personal choice and so doesn't matter as much as Sophia's death in particular," she raised an eyebrow carefully. "Did you kill her? Can you be a...big girl and say it?"
Cassie made mistakes, but this was not one. The Animorphs needed people like Raven, whether Suji agreed, liked, or hated. There were different approaches to everything, and it was safe to say the Animorphs had almost all those approaches covered.
Suji:
Suji laughed. She just looked into Raven's faced and laughed, and it felt so, incredibly, good. Raven thought she had Suji pegged--but God forbid Suji know a thing or two about the Chicago faction leader. Hell, Raven probably thought she was doing Suji a service for that little sermon... just enough sweet 'agree to disagree' bull in it so that she could feel polite in implying that Suji was a murderer later. "Avoid a huge confrontation? I guess you were. You preferred the 'lecture and then run out so I can have the last word' strategy, obviously."
Suji shook her head, snickering. "That's what you'd want, isn't it? For me to say that I killed Sophia? For me to confirm all your deep, dark fears that I'm some kind of monster? For you to feel oh-so-much more squeaky clean about yourself?" Suji tilted her head. "How does it feel, Raven? To accuse a member of killing someone innocent? To accuse with no proof, other than that I killed her brother? Toby, who Riley would have killed anyway. Toby, who would have killed you too, because you'd probably have laid there like a stupid animal and let him because otherwise poor Riley Jr might get miscarried rather than be born into a fucking war? "
Suji looked back at her, composed, even. Raven was just one more arrogant girl who thought that a bit of power and unwillingness to do what was necessary (and therefore be someone that forced it on others) made her morally superior. It was why Suji was a 'murderer'. Something which Raven had no grounds for accusing her of, except what, women's intuition?
"I already know that I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. If I did kill her, there would be no reason for me to tell you. If I didn't kill her, nothing I could say would change your mind. You just entertain that thought that you're calling me a murderer for something you can never know. Let me guess. She didn't call home after the evil Animorphs killed her one and only brother?"
Suji leaned forward, smirking. "You just remember. If it wasn't for me, the largest part of you would probably fit in a shoebox right about now, and Riley-dear would be dead as a doorknob. Just a thought to keep in mind, while you're busy pointing-fingers."
Because Suji hadn't started any of the blaming. If Raven hadn't felt the need to imply that Suji was a murderer (which, but Raven's standards--the standards that helped her feel better about herself, clearly---she was), Suji would have been able to let it go. But who was Raven to judge? Because in the end what Suji had said was true, too. Suji hadn't even been the one that had needed Raven--especially not Raven's self-righteous pacifism. If not for Suji's abilities (and Toby's failed attempts at playing them) she would have never pieced the trap together. Riley would have never had any warning about Toby's new morphs, and Toby could have easily been a tiger rather than a rattlesnake. Or he could have just wandered off without bothering with Riley at all, and started to work on Raven then.
And it would have been over much, much faster.
Raven:
Raven had a lot she wanted to say to Suji, how the girl had nerve to go off and do her own thing repeatedly, how she showed blatant disregard for her leaders, how she was going to end up getting people killed, but she held back. She was not a malicious person, but Suji was definitely getting her riled up, which was not a smart thing to do to a pregnant woman, one swimming with hormones. Suji obviously had issues with Raven, probably had from the beginning, but that did not give the girl the right to go behind her back and get away scott free.
Raven sighed, "I don't care about the last word Suji, it's the farthest thing from my mind, I did not want this, I didn't want to get riled up for pretty frickin' obvious reasons." It went unsaid that pregnant women went into early labor due to stress, and if this didn't count towards that then she didn't know what was. "Yes I do, because ever fiber of my being says you killed her, and if I'm wrong then I will stand here and apologize to you right now, but my gut, not unlike yours, is usually right," she replied sharply. Raven did dislike Suji, quite a bit, she actually loathed the girl, and maybe she'd jumped to conclusions when she accused her of killing Sophia, but the other explanations seemed too far fetched, and considering Suji's past actions of doing what she felt was 'right', well Raven had too much pointing in the girls direction to ignore it.
"You have gone off and done things you felt were right far too many times Suji, you are capable of killing without telling any of us, and you're a smart girl, I wouldn't doubt you knew how to cover up your tracks," she paused, "Oh, and you were the last person seen with Sophia....the idea that you would have killed her is not as proof-less as you might think, but again, if you can prove me wrong, then I will stand here and apologize greatly," she hissed.
Suji went too far when she spoke of 'Riley jr' as well as calling her a stupid animal, and Raven's face twisted up in anger. "How DARE you," she clenched her jaw, "You have NO idea what it's like to know you're a mother, you have killed, you know it's not easy Suji, because I can SEE you are not a monster, now imagine not just killing another human being but the one thats part of YOU, so don't sit there on your little pedestal and judge ME."
"There'd be plenty reason to tell me, you could clear your conscience Suji," she replied, keeping herself as level-headed as possible, despite the girls rudeness. "But you're right, I'm dead set on my conclusion, all your past actions point to it, the resistance never even caught wind of her, I don't think she'd go back to a life amongst Controllers without her brother, did I mention you were the last seen with her, and you've killed before, and not just anyone, but her brother. If you were me you'd think the same conclusion, only I don't have that luxury of ever finding a trace of her now do I, no you're too smart for that? Riley searched the area and found nothing, and the lovely rain did not help matters." I hate you Suji, yes I do, and maybe it's blinding me into thinking you killed Sophia, maybe it made me accuse you of such, but there's still plenty of facts that point to you too....
"Do you want a thanks? A big pat on the back? Do you remember I showed up here with Sophia without anyone's help, yes it was because Toby hadn't showed up, but why was he MIA again? I believe Riley said something about luring him into a trap after he found you nearly dead. Maybe you initially did not trust Toby, but us being alive is not solely due to your efforts, it was a group thing, or did you forget that we work as a group? You do tend to take things into your own hands often."
Suji pieced together the trap, but she fell pray to Toby as owl too, and Toby being a Tiger would have been absurd, their forest was not nearly big enough to house such an animal let alone give room for an attack with a creature that large, the forest was far too dense. Raven of course had not thought all that through, but she knew Riley had been around, and he had spotted Suji nearly dying, and had he not stopped to help her he would have followed Toby--which apparently was what he was hoping Toby would suspect. Suji was clever, but Riley was too and she had faith that he would have found a way back to her. They would never know that for sure since they stopped Toby, and Raven got out alongside with Sophia.
Suji:
Another lecture. Suji tuned out most of it, as she had the first time she'd realized that Raven had come in to lecture her. At least before, when she'd made Raven come back, she'd touched an unexpected nerve--at least unexpected for Suji, who had expected that the girl who try to hold to some sense of aloof leadership dignity and not turn back. But she had, and Suji had had the opportunity to say her fill, and judging by Raven's reaction, Suji had pressed the buttons she'd wanted to press.
If knowing how to sink your claws in under someone's armor wasn't a strength, it was at least a skill, and one that Suji possessed. The fact that Raven was ruled by emotion and sentiment (all pacifists were, weren't they?) made it that much easier to do (though the results, therefore, were predictable). Raven raged against Suji for judging her, and Suji smirked, distantly. Ah, but judgment went both ways, didn't it? Suji had never considered herself more than what she was--she'd never assumed that she was morally better than anyone else. With Raven it was different. With Raven it was about having the high ground; she didn't kill because it was bad and wrong and--here was the kicker--hard.
It was hard to kill. Or that wasn't right: it was easy to kill, but it was hard to murder--hard to knowingly take life, without letting that destroy you, without letting it become meaningless. For a moment Suji looked at Raven and pitied her (though not nearly as much as she despised her). After all, maybe Raven was just weak at her core. Maybe she just wasn't built for the role she'd been cast into. It was a rare, round-about moment of true human empathy, and Suji merely looked at the faction leader in front of her. Maybe Raven was just, in the end, scared. Incapable. Suji did not fault people for their moral trappings...
...except when you're a leader. And that Raven was. The pity drained away, and the bitter-sharp tang of disgust rose up in its place.
Most of whatever Raven said came across as an accusatory ramble, and Suji only realized that it was over after a second or two of silence. Her expression was utterly calm: she'd gotten what she'd wanted out of the conversation. She'd bled the boil of her own anger, for the time being. It would be slow healing, but to hear Raven's jabs and questions and suppositions would at least reassure her. Every sentence had bolstered Suji, rather than chip away at her. Silence would have been worse. Every word out of Raven's mouth was comforting, if only because it made it clear that Suji had analyzed her correctly.
She pondered responding to the Toby what-could-have-been theorizing, but decided against it. Suji had objected to Toby from the start. Without her around, there was no doubt in her mind that Toby would have succeeded in his plans. Even with her there it had been a close call. If Raven didn't want to see that, that was probably because she was too blinded by the fact that she was an easy, open target, which meant that so was her faction.
"I never asked for a thanks. We're a team after all," Suji said, laughing a little under her breath. "And regardless of whatever you think of my morality, whether or not you think I'm a murderer and that I killed Sophia, I would still do what was necessary to save you, again, now. Since it's our job to save those who can't save themselves. You're vulnerable, and I know that Cassie sent me here because you can't do all the things a leader should be able to do--and having Riley be both co-leader AND second is like slapping a band-aid on a bullet-hole." Suji eyed Raven up and down, feeling tired now, and wanting to go back to the deep, black ocean of sleep that she'd been dragged from.
"Accuse me of what you will, think of me what you will, hate me, curse my name--I don't care, especially not since I'm going to be on my way. Tell your faction I was a hero, tell them I was a murderer, whatever. Because all this has proved, at the end of the day, is that a war needs people like me to make up for shortcomings of people like you."
Raven:
There was a blankness in the girls face that told her she wasn't listening, the silence afterwords didn't help dissuade her from that conclusion. Someone that thick-headed and stubborn would shun off words that might actual take hold and help her. Somehow Raven felt Suji thought her the bad guy in all this, and the truth was she wasn't, that she was doing her job the way she did it, the way Cassie knew she would do it from day one. Maybe Chicago did not make the heaviest impact in casualties, but Cassie knew that from day 1, no but her faction did turn out the most Leaders for other cities, it trained people, readied them.
By the time Suji decided to speak Raven's face was cloaked in a mask of imassiveness, she was tired, and if Suji wasn't going to listen she didn't think wasting her breath farther would be worth it. This girl would do what she wanted no matter who was in charge, that much was obvious, and when something bad happened, when it was her fault because she wanted to rally against the leader--who is usually put there for a good reason--then maybe she'd change...or that possibly was just thinking too grandly. Suji would never change, and that was saddening.
"Could have surprised me," she merely shrugged off the thanks part. Her laughter was annoying, but now kind of expected, if you didn;t agree with Suji, if you did things differently then you were laughable and not worth listening to. Well Rian, I hope you and Suji share similar mindsets or ideas....or at least that friend of hers does. "No, Suji, that is not why Cassie sent you here, I don't think you know the first THING about our leader," she replied, and she smiled. Raven and Cassie had a past longer than Suji would know, and that was fine with her, she even had to repress laughter. "Your words make it seem like you think yourself the most important part of this group, and if thats so then it's not a group or a team in your eyes. It never really was was it? Go on and think what you need to right your conscience."
"I don't hate you, won't curse you, by you saying that proves you don't know a THING about me. My faction knows what you've done, and who you are, they're free to think of you as they will," she paused and shook her head. "For all your strengths, your biggest shortcoming isn't that you can go behind your leaders back Suji," she shook her head, "No it's that you think you're always right, and no one else can possibly dissuade you from it. One day, when you're wrong...maybe you'll see that."
Raven stepped away from the door and took several steps towards her room, she was feeling tired now. "I know my shortcomings, and so does Cassie, and I was still made leader." You are not... The conversation had hurt a bit, it had definitely hit a few nerves, but it had also made her see Suji slightly differently, that threat she'd felt had ebbed away as she realized how great Suji thought herself to be, like she was a great savior. No, Chicago was the single longest standing faction outside of New york, and would have continued to do so with out without Suji.
"Good bye."
Suji:
"If you think I'm saying I'm the most important member here, I'm not." Suji arched an eyebrow. "Just that I'm one of the only ones that actually seem to realize that we're fighting a war." Raven might think that Suji didn't understand anything about Cassie, and that was fine with Suji. Raven also didn't think Suji knew anything about her. There was a difference between understanding, and liking what you understood--and if Raven thought that Suji would like what she knew if she truly knew, well, that wasn't Suji's fault.
Yes, Raven had been made leader. But so had Lex, who had gotten himself killed in a matter of weeks. So had Matthias, whose entire faction had been blown to bits and pieces. Suji knew her history (hard not too when you were at the command central faction, even for a short time). Cassie, for all her faults, worked with what she had. And just because Raven happened to be on stock didn't make Suji think she was leadership material. Especially not considering recent events, and, well, her delicate situation.
Raven left the room and Suji shrugged. "Peace," she said, with a tone of finality.
Riley:
Ah...its done... he thought, hearing what sounded like some type of conclusion, or goodbye. Riley was seething beneath his skin, his normal charismatic demeanor lost almost completely. His jaw was clenched, and his muscles all tensed, almost as if his body was ready for a physical fight. There were no fights though, none at all, and so he stood up from his spot outside the HQ and walked away.
Riley had wanted to give Suji a decent goodbye, he didn't expect to see her after all the crazy events here, but after hearing--partially--what went on between she and Raven he wasn't sure if that was a good idea. Part of him was mad at Suji, the part of him that wanted to protect Raven, but a larger part knew his girlfriend could take care of herself, and that part still liked Suji despite what she thought about Raven. Suji on the other hand, after something like that, probably wasn't in the best mindset for a nice goodbye, and if it wasn't on good terms he didn't really want one at all--they were hard enough as it was.
His tall frame could be seen walking away from the HQ, and instead he remained outside, a good 10 feet from the building sitting under one of the trees, nicely cloaked by the shadow it cast. Good bye Suji he thought silently to himself.
Suji:
Suji didn't have many things to collect, even less after they'd left the original HQ. She had the clothes she was wearing over her morphing suit, and the dracon gun she'd taken from rescuing Karl--things that had been in the pack that she'd had brought over to the firehouse. She hid the gun in the waistband of her jeans, and slipped on a slightly over-sized jacket that also come with her stuff, which hid the weapon easily.
Suji found a rubber band and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She was still exhausted, but she wasn't about to go back to sleep. On one hand she could have probably used another 12 hours of deep slumber, and maybe another 12 of resting in bed drifting in and out. On the other hand, not only did she no longer feel welcome, Raven had all but told her to get out, as far as she was concerned. And pride wasn't about to let her stay here if she was been pushed along to another faction.
She didn't bother with any last looks over the room. There was nothing here worth being sentimental about. She left the firehouse without looking back, pausing only when she saw Riley sitting under a tree in the distance. Suji hesitated: she could say goodbye, or she could keep walking. For all she knew he'd either be in foul mood given the discussion between her and Raven, or even worse, he'd be prepared to lecture her as well.
If that was the case, Suji wasn't sure she'd be able to maintain her anger. Raven at least could plead the high ground because she clung to some perception of morality--useless and dangerous as it was. If Riley so much as pretended to be a shade better than Suji, that would just sour what had been one of her only hopes for this place--that Riley could see things clearly and act accordingly.
And still, she couldn't leave without saying goodbye. As much as she might have envisioned herself a soldier, someone who did what was necessary, there was a girl underneath that. A human. And Riley had been the only one with whom she'd come remotely close to seeing things eye to eye--except maybe Toby, and that was not a heartening thought. She stepped closer towards him, cocking her head back in a gesture of greeting. "Hey."
Riley:
Riley was sitting in the shade, one leg extended and the other bent in front of him. His mind was spinning with the events, everything happened so fast..and he felt loyalties being tested. Riley loved Raven, loved her more than he had ever loved anyone, but he had changed, and she had too. For the first time since finding out she was alive again--actually the for the first time ever-- Riley questioned of they would work out. Would the fact that he loved her help them overcome a difference such as this? Only time would really tell.
As he sat contemplating the last person he expected appeared, and Riley cast his gaze upwards, watching her form near him. His face remained neutral as she approached, not displaying the inner turmoil he felt now. Should he hate her? Should he side with Raven? Was be betraying the girl he loved by still liking the one that just insulted her? In the end he followed his gut, Suji and everyone else knew how he felt about Raven, and he couldn't just hate Suji because she and Raven disagreed. Friends were not something you fell across often, and while...he didn't know if she considered him that...he felt a kinship with her that could not be denied on his half.
"Hey," he replied, jerking his chin up at her in form of greeting. Despite his earlier confusion, when they began speaking he felt it slowly ease away, and a slight smile spread across his lips. Riley couldn't help the response, and rubbed the back of his neck in a sheepish manner, "Goodbyes are never easy huh?" he slowly got to his feet, brushing the grass off his pants. Inwardly he smacked himself, good going...he thought dryly.
Suji:
Suji regarded him sternly for a moment, bracing against the unpleasantness that was sure to follow. He was watching her with the same measuring look, until he returned the greeting. Then he started to smile, and Suji felt a great deal of the tension in her shoulders dissipate at once. It felt like somewhere deep down, a breath she'd been holding ever since plotting Karl's secret escape, all the way through the Toby crisis, finally escaped.
She exhaled, and found herself snickering gently under her breath at his question. "Not when you want them to be," she replied evenly. "So is this one going to be ugly too?" She smirked a little, shifting her weight to one side.
Riley:
Riley raised a brow at her when he heard the soft snickering, but the smile was still spread across his lips. The circumstances were....straining to say the least, and yet...he felt better than he had moments before. There was a bond between the two, one that he didn't quite understand, but it was one he liked. Suji and Raven weren't friends, no where near it, but that didnt mean Riley had to sever contact with her, and he wouldn't.
He chuckled softly at her response, shaking his head slowly, "Depends on the definition of ugly," he laughed. "But no, don't think this one'll be ugly. You know I've got your back," he winked and grinned. The two had been through a lot, and at one point he had put his life in her hands, when he had let himself be bait to Toby's attack...relying on her. That was something you couldn't just forget or walk away from lightly. Suji would always hold a place with him, whether she realized it or not.
"Well..." he started, and then ran a hand absently through his short hair, "It's sad seeing you go, but I'm glad I got to meet you," he held her gaze for a moment, showing the genuineness of his words. "You know where to find me, if ever you find yourself in need of my services." He held out a hand for a shake, and then frowned, it felt so impersonal...but he had no idea how she would react to a hug. Riley hesitated for a moment, his hand retracting a little before he raised both brows up and smirked. "Too weird to hug?"
Teddy bear or Grizzly bear, it was hard to tell what side you were going to get with Riley.
Suji:
He did have her back. That kind of kinship was something she'd only felt with one other person so far in this war: Luce. And she'd all but forgotten about her old friend in the midst of this crisis. Now she would be hurrying along to Vegas, where her past comrade was stationed. Suji might have trusted Luce more in certain situations (namely because Luce was the only person she counted on to be just as methodical as she was), but Riley had been dependable, and what's more, capable. Easier to get along with than Luce, too.
"Not too weird," Suji said with a small smile, though she feigned looking over her shoulder. "Just make sure your girlfriend doesn't see. I'm sure there's only so much that even pacifists can take."
Riley:
Riley, not unlike Suji, also was not particularly inclined to trust others, and after Toby that only increased--though not by much since it was hard to get worse than he already was. His list was small, Raven, Suji, Jeffrey, Cassie, Quinn, and Victoria. Most of those people he hadn't seen in ages however, and so the trust was waning with time, but there was hope for people in his faction now. With time.
In the present however he was basically losing someone though, she wasn't dying but the distance would only hinder, not help. Riley hoped next time the met--if ever--that they would not be strangers. His smile widened at her words, and he couldn't help but chuckle softly when she glanced backwards. "She will understand," he replied, and seemed genuninely at ease about it despite feeling some hesitation. Raven had understood in the past, but they had changed, how would she react now? Riley wasn't entirely sure, but he knew one thing indefinitely...that he wanted to be able to give Suji a proper goodbye.
"And anyway, she's inside, I checked," he added lightly, clearly joking as he grinned. With that he extended his arms, pulling her into a bear hug, even lifting her slightly off the ground before setting her back down. Riley made sure not to squeeze her too much...suffocation would be a horrible way to go after all this. "Planned out how you're getting there?" he asked, taking a step back, as the conversation came to a close. "Morphing?" Suji would have a plan, she usually did...and if she didn't he would find himself quite surprised.
Suji:
Suji wasn't so convinced Raven would "understand"--not so much about the hug as about Riley's acceptance of Suji--but she wasn't going to belabor the issue. She was leaving, and now it didn't really matter: it would probably be hard for Raven to like Suji even less. Raven hadn't been the one she'd really been worried about--it'd been Riley, so if he was okay with it, she was okay with it.
Riley's strong arms went around her and Suji pulled her own arms around his neck. It was a good hug, and for a moment she shivered lightly, afraid that she'd unravel. It was easy to be strong when you were being pressed and pressured, at least for Suji. The real danger was in the aftermath, when you were with someone that wouldn't berate you or think less of you if you let down the mask.
The embrace broke and she stepped back as well, quickly reassembling herself. "Yeah, I've got a plan. I'm thinking of stealing a motorcycle--there's a lot that sells those and some cars. I passed over it each time I was spying on David's brother and planning his escape," she laughed lightly under her breath. She didn't think he'd scold her about that now. At least that was a boon given everything else that had happened. "I guess motorcycles and dirtbikes are in big demand in cities--easier to fit more of them in a parking lot outside the pool on a Friday night," she snickered.
Suji lifted the corner of her mouth into a smile. "You want to help me grab one? I'm thinking something flashy, that will get me into Vegas on attitude alone."
Riley:
Riley didn't know where he stood with the entire idea, all he really knew was that he still felt a kinship with Suji, and while he disliked the situation between she and Raven, he wouldn't let that stop him. Bonds were suppose to be strong, and so was love, if what they had could last through death--even if it was only presumed--then could it not last this? Love definitely was not the only thing needed, but it was also not the only thing the two shared. It'll be fine, he told himself, though it was more of a way to comfort him if anything.
The hug helped though, made him feel more strongly about the choice he had made--one that had the potential to change everything. Deep down he had the lingering feeling that it would all work out--something that was strange considering he was not the hopeful type. Shaking the thoughts off again he smiled at the mention of motorcycles, his entire face taking on a boyish quality it normally lacked. It was obvious this excited him, motorcycles that is.
Riley couldn't help but laugh, shaking his head slowly at her mention of planning Karl's escape. Past was past, a bit late for anything now. The smile on Suji's face was replicated on his own, a new lively spark in his expression, "Do I?" he looked incredulous for a moment before breaking out into a wide grin, "Of course I do." Maybe he could find a few good spare parts to fix up his old Harley--it lacked its old luster, but it was still his girl.
Slowly he raised up one brow, his face stretched out in what seemed to be a permanent smile now, "Have a plan on how to nick one?" Suji knew the area better than he since he couldn't recall the spot she spoke of. Riley had a few ideas of his own already formulating, but he stayed quiet for the moment.
Suji:
Suji feigned confusion though her smile betrayed her: "What, you don't think walking up and telling them we need a motorcycle so a lazy Animorph doesn't have to fly to another faction won't work?" She smiled, and shook her head a little.
"I figured I could pretend to be interested in buying one, and just make off with it when the opportunity came up. I've got a dracon gun and they can be pretty good for stunning." And evaporating people. "I'm sure there are still plenty of robberies in Yeerk-America. Luxury goods are in tighter supply what with production still being evened out again. So a hold-up probably wouldn't be too uncommon."
She looked up at him, tilting her head a bit. "Though if I've got a partner, one of us could just be a distraction."
Riley:
Riley flashed her an cheeky grin, "Plan C," he replied jokingly. Truth be told walking in there in their human forms had been a fairly okay idea, with the exception of him going in as human that is. Riley was not incredibly well known, but his face was known and it might post a threat depending on which area this was located in. On the bright side, he did have one human morph, though Riley was not exactly fond of telling others so--it was a female. Raven had coaxed him into it a while ago, seeing as it would probably come in handy at one point. The only downfall was that he had only had the time to acquire a woman at the time, and now looking back it probably would have been a smart idea to get a male as well. Last resort Riley...last resort... he told himself silently.
"Dracon gun...I like that," he grinned. Riley began to mull over the hold up idea when he caught her looking up at him, and he jerked up a brow suspiciously, "Yes?" he asked, now unable to help but chuckle. Riley's smirk widened, "Well, you do happen to have a partner...." he started, his mind already turning with ideas, "What kind of distraction should we be talking here..." he wiggled his eyebrows up and down in a slightly foolish way.
"There's...you know the kind that ends in explosion, the accident-prone Controller interested in a bike, a stray dog causing trouble, or we can go...with a pretty blonde girl that can't tell the difference between a soft-tail cruiser and a supermotto." Inwardly he didn't exactly enjoy the idea of morphing this woman, but maybe Suji wouldn't tease him about it...too much. "How hard can it be to flirt....as the opposite sex?" Of course he was hoping she might offer to be the distraction.
Suji:
Suji arched an eyebrow at his last comment. Pretty blonde? Was he offering to morph some girl? Sounded like it, from the opposite sex bit. "Well, as much as I'd love to see that," Suji smiled, raising both eyebrows, "I'm not sure how effective flirting is nowadays. Maybe it is--but Controllers seem pretty wary of admitting any sort of physical attraction, from what I've seen. At least, I've usually gone with trying to scare them before seducing them." She added with a grin: "Maybe you've had other experiences."
Pausing for a moment, her eyes unfixed and her brow furrowed, thinking. "Can you hotwire those things? I'll do the distracting if you can. I've only ever read up on hot-wiring cars, don't even know if it's possible for bikes."
Riley:
Riley left it vague, knowing Suji would either deduce what he meant, or simply ask. Either way this went he was hoping for an alternative. He laughed, "I've come across a lot of hard asses, but you'd be surprised the natural instincts a male specimen has, even without the Yeerk when a pretty girls around." Now, being able to control that urge was a different story, but still.
"Hotwire....yeah..." he paused and smirked, "It's possible but its more tricky...as in I can get it started but I can't guarantee that it won't fry the system and make it impossible to ride again," he replied, brows knit together in thought. "Really though it depends on the bike. Wouldn't you like the keys though, in case you want to ride it again?" he grinned. Motorcycles were his thing, he couldn't bare to see one stolen and then never used again, at least not used properly. That being said he didn't get to ride his as much as he liked anymore, but still.
"It's up to you, I could go after the most flashy one that didn't involve needing a nail or screw driver...and then you should be good to go on it." Sometimes the wires connecting the engine of the motorcycle were hidden by plastics, or buried behind metal and required some digging, but there were plenty of brands that did not. Riley could spot the differences pretty easily.